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#293384 - 06/28/09 03:16 PM Pride Day - But not for me
East Side Truman Offline
New Here

Registered: 10/01/07
Posts: 11
Loc: NYC
It's Pride today in Manhattan. I strolled over to Fifth Avenue with my dog, and took in a bit of the parade. I left after half an hour, though, and I came home feeling so confused. I grabbed Richard Gartner's book "Betrayed as Boys" off my nightstand and just started thumbing through it for any signs of insight. I guess I just feel angry, and I'm disappointed in myself for not feeling "pride" on this day. I have a great relationship with a beautiful man. I wouldn't want to change that for anything. But somehow I still don't feel comfortable with the term "gay". It seems so reductive. And always, always, always, there is the stigma of abuse. Am I gay because of my abuse? Did my abuse happen because I was gay? What part of my sexuality belongs to me? My SA began when I was 14. It was my first sexual experience, and the "relationship" lasted into my twenties. I can't get him out of me. I'm 45 years old now, and I just want to move on. But every time I turn around I feel his presence. I"m still angry. A parade isn't what I need today. Maybe a hug. Thanks for letting me vent.
Truman


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#293389 - 06/28/09 05:35 PM Re: Pride Day - But not for me [Re: East Side Truman]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
"Labels are for cans", you're Truman and that's what matters.

((((Truman)))) safe hugs Brother

Stay strong
Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#293413 - 06/28/09 08:15 PM Re: Pride Day - But not for me [Re: mogigo]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
As Mike stated, your Truman and that is all that matters. I can relate however to your questions and to how you feel.

This weekend was our PrideFest here in Colorado also. My very loving partner and I attended the parade and all the festivities today.

But as my lover and I were talking on the way home, we are both so happy to be apart of the gay culture. This is who we/I am and I am not sad or angry for being gay. I don't know if my over 5 years of SA was a major part of my sexuality or not. I just know and feel that this is who I am and I feel I need to accept that. I don't want to hide from Me or from anyone else who I am. I am Ken and that is all that counts.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#293419 - 06/28/09 09:19 PM Re: Pride Day - But not for me [Re: KENKEN]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2439
Loc: TEXAS
Hi my brothers.

Who needs labels??

Right here, right now, and forever,
Litle Pete & big Pete, will give you/us, compassion, understanding and love.

Love for YOU all for just being YOU.

Heal well my brothers/friends.

Little Pete & big Pete.. (1 Irishmoose)

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#293431 - 06/28/09 11:02 PM Re: Pride Day - But not for me [Re: petercorbett]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
When will Gay - will the day ever come? - accept that not every homosexual man wears his sexuality as his primary identity?

My sexuality as a Queer man is simply one more component of the very complexe and unique person that I am, but it neither precedes me into a room nor dominates the evening's conversation.

When it becomes culturaly popular for heterosexual men to introduce themselves around the room as "Hi, my name is X and I'm heterosexual", perhaps only then will I revise my position.

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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