When I was about eight or nine years old, I was video taped by my uncle after I had just finished taking a bath.

As I would usually do, after I had finished taking a bath and drying myself off, I would leave the bathroom completly naked and go into my grandparents' bedromm where a fresh set of clean clothes were setting and get dressed.

Well, one night in particular, everybody was over at my grandparents' place--my brothers, my uncle, and both my grandparents were home. My uncle was using my grandpa's video camera and taping everyone when my grandma called me and told me that it was time to take a bath. Not thinking much about the camera (or not caring about it) I left my set of clean clothes in my grandparents' bedroom and went into the bathroom down the hall to have my bath.

After I had finished bathing and drying myself off, I left the bathroom naked and walked back down the hall to my grandparents' room to get dressed. My uncle, who was still video taping the family, took notice of me and turned the camera on me. I told him to stop and I ran into my grandparents' bedroom where I slammed the door in my uncle's face, but he just opened the door and came in with the camera still on. I felt really embarassed and humiliated and I ran into my grandparents' bathroom and hid in a corner. My uncle just followed me in there too. I then ran out of the bathroom and tried to run out of the bedroom (still naked) but I was unable to do so as my uncle blocked the doorway. I then leaned up against my grandparents' bed trying to hide myself from the camera. Some family members laughed while others told my uncle to stop what he was doing. Eventually, my uncle, with the camera still running, turned and left the room at which time I quickly got dressed.

To my knowledge this incident, (like any other incident) was never reported to the police.

Later as the tape was being viewed by family, (and I am sure some other people have seen it) I felt very humiliated and hurt. I remember one day when I was older I was at my grandparents' house home alone when I was talking to my grandpa on the telephone. Somehow we got to talking about the tape, and my grandpa told me to go look through all the home video tapes to find this tape so that I could edit that scene out of it. After a few hours of looking I called my grandpa back (he was at work) and told him that I was unable to find the tape.

Now that my grandparents have passed away, my mom has inherited all of the home videos (or at least most of them anyway). I know that my mom has this tape, and I have thought about talking to my mom about it and seeing if she will give the tape to me so that I can edit the tape, that way I will know for sure that that disturbing scene is gone. A few times recently I have heard my family watching those tapes, and it makes me feel upset at my uncle as I can only imagine them laughing at a naked boy running from the camera almost in tears.

Unfortunately, however, given the tension that is between my mom and step-dad and I (I have been yelled at and mistreated by them lately, especially my step-dad for reason I will not discuss in this post) I dont't think it is a good time to bring this up, not only that, but my family does not want to hear about my sexual abuse and problems. So, since I am not comfortable to confronting my mom about it, I have thought about making a phone call to the police and having them get the tape. However, that too will cause many problems for me.

To my knowledge since there are no copies of this tape circulationg--yet, I just wantto have this tape edited. If my family would respect me enought to do just that, then I won't go to the police about it, otherwise, if they won't help me, then I will have to take legal action. (Assuming the statute is not expired).

So, I am wondering, shoould I wait till a better time than now to confront my mom family about this, or have the police do it?

I also have some picures in my possission of me that might be child porn, but I am not sure. How do I handle those?

TW