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#292011 - 06/17/09 12:41 AM The film I was apart of
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Sorry guys it's 20 minutes but I'd be honoured if you'd watch it.

I did it because I'm not going to hide my face in shame anymore. That's what I decided when I started my journey, and that will be my decision until the end of my life.

http://www.thegatehouse.org/into-the-light

Stay strong
Mike



Edited by walkingsouth (11/29/09 01:05 AM)
Edit Reason: Edited to correct obsolete link
_________________________
Thriving

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#292023 - 06/17/09 03:20 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: mogigo]
Jaifian Offline


Registered: 05/26/09
Posts: 220
Loc: washington state, USA
Right on, bro. Being able to do this is truly a testament to your recovery! I related very much to what you spoke of in the film.. feeling like you're somehow out of touch with the rest of the world.

Guess I wasn't the only one after all.



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#292026 - 06/17/09 04:32 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: mogigo]
myboyhoodfears Offline


Registered: 03/13/09
Posts: 457
your a hero...and so much stronger than you realize.

_________________________
Post Nubilia Pheobus

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#292027 - 06/17/09 04:51 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Jaifian]
expom Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 123
Loc: Australia
Hey Mike - impressive.

Am part of a self-help support group here in Melbourne, Oz, and we are looking at getting a video/film done of the way we do our self support. We don't have access to a facilitated property - most of our support is done via email with plenty of cell messages, phone calls and face to face meetings.

No 15 week programme but what we are doing is working for us. Like you we want to be part of the growing groundswell of information that says that it is ok to heal, to recover and to ask for help.

Thank you for your inspiration = it is possible to be part of something big enough to help others.

Thanks,

ADen



Edited by expom (06/17/09 04:52 AM)
_________________________
I endured all my yesterdays. I prevail in all of my todays. I exercise my right to be able to enjoy my tomorrows. I choose not to do it alone.

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#292028 - 06/17/09 05:02 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Jaifian]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
It was a great film, and the Gatehouse looks to be a great project for those of us in need. Now we know where you were when you were supposed to be at work!!! In some regard, the place reminds me of Prescott House in AZ, even though Prescott House is an older frame single-family ranch with a small older apartment complex behind it, in a neighborhood of similar properties in Prescott. It looks like the Gatehouse is well taken care of though, with nice grounds.

Glad that you found the place and that you are now moving forward toward the rest of your life.

Talk to me next week, I'll be home on Tuesday,

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#292031 - 06/17/09 05:30 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: mogigo]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
This film, and the work that went into it by Mike, and the rest of the guys that partook in it is one of the major reasons that I was able to start taking back control of my life.

This film showed me, a year ago March when it was presented for the first time publicy at the Men Of Courage Conference in Toronto, that life as a survivor was possible.

This film helped save my life. It gave me life, and the courage to tell my secret. It showed me I was not alone. It showed me I have a choice. It showed me hope.

To you Mike, and all the others connected with its production, I say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

With my deepest, darkest secret now out, I have a life. You are life savers!

I Love you guys!
Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#292032 - 06/17/09 06:59 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Geeders]
b869 Offline


Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 767
Loc: Philippines
Wow! Mike,


I agree w/ myboyhoodfears you are a hero!


Marvin

_________________________

When thing get complicated go back to simplicity

Harvey Fierstein
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.

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#292033 - 06/17/09 07:11 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: myboyhoodfears]
Anarion Cti Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/23/09
Posts: 157
Loc: Eastern US
Thanks for the great video, Mogigo!

_________________________
"Thou, O Lord, are the shield about me;
You're my helper,
You're the one who lifts up my head."
"Whom have I in heaven or earth but You?"

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#292104 - 06/17/09 07:39 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Anarion Cti]
Happy Birthday michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Mike,

WoW! Thanks for the inspirational film. Your a lucky man to have found such a place. Hopefully more places like this can be set up. As was state at the first part of the film there are so few rescources for abused men.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#292108 - 06/17/09 08:20 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: mogigo]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2430
Loc: TEXAS
Hi my brothers,

Real powerful, real boys then, real men now.

Awsome that one individual can mean so much to us all. Someone to listen, someone to show compassion and someone to show us love.

Just like I've posted about 22 strangers. Right there, right here. We might start out shy, apprehensive and guilty.
But we soon become brothers and we become family to each other. At least that's the way that this 70 year old sees it. Unconditional love and acceptance.

Heal well my brothers. my family.

Pete (Irishmoose)

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#292109 - 06/17/09 08:24 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: petercorbett]
Tedure Offline


Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 203
Loc: Utah
Mike,

Thanks, what a great film!!! Thanks for all your efforts!! It really touched my heart!

Happy trails, Ted

_________________________
When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.

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#292111 - 06/17/09 08:34 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: michael banks]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 856
Loc: washington
Mike,

20 minutes well spent...!!!

There are limited resources here, and somehow I felt while watching, I was part of something bigger.

I feel honored that I got to watch this and appreciate the dedication.


Fight the Good Fight (Triumph)

island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#292118 - 06/17/09 09:03 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: 1islandboy]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5773
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
You may want to contact the conf committee about possibly showing it at the conf next March. There are usually a few short or full-length films shown at nite to help extend the flavor of the conf.


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#292134 - 06/17/09 10:20 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Tedure]
Casmir213 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 844
Loc: Northeast, USA
Great movie.

_________________________
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

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#292135 - 06/17/09 10:26 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: mogigo]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
so powerful! you deserve this experience. thanks for sharing mike.

all the best,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#292145 - 06/18/09 12:25 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Sans Logos]
Clockwise Offline


Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Pennsylvania
Hey Mike. I watched the movie last night and I have to say that it was extremely powerful and eye-opening. It feels good to see real men talking about their life experiences with sexual abuse and expressing how much progress they've made. More power to you bro.

_________________________
Yet another 24 hours.

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#292146 - 06/18/09 12:28 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Clockwise]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1955
Mike,

Thanks for sharing this. I watched it and it brought tears to my eyes. This really hit home about how it felt to feel so alone and the only one that went through something, only to find out you were not alone and that it was okay. A breath of fresh air indeed. A few of them in fact! Thanks again.

Eric


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#292168 - 06/18/09 02:58 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: petercorbett]
temeraire Offline


Registered: 05/25/09
Posts: 21
Loc: SOUTH AFRICA
Mike,

Thanks for that movie really very inspirational that is what it is all about breaking the silence.

I wish we had something like that in South Africa. I am glad that I found you guys as up to now I done this journey of healing on my own and some times I felt so isolated and alone.

Thanks again Mike the journey into the light has been the most amazing experience of my life.


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#293025 - 06/25/09 04:16 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: temeraire]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Bump cuz this is an important post, and should not be buried.

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#293027 - 06/25/09 04:28 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: mogigo]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6708
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: mogigo
Sorry guys it's 20 minutes but I'd be honoured if you'd watch it.

I did it because I'm not going to hide my face in shame anymore. That's what I decided when I started my journey, and that will be my decision until the end of my life.

http://www.thegatehouse.org/into-the-light

Stay strong
Mike




Edited by walkingsouth (11/29/09 01:04 AM)
Edit Reason: Edited to correct obsolete link

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#293029 - 06/25/09 05:00 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: mogigo]
friendinneed Offline


Registered: 06/04/09
Posts: 107
For the courage you have shown. The beautiful, caring, kind soul you are. The inspiration you offer. For the boy and the man whose life is remarkable. For the truimph and the hope.

For the me I recognize in you, but more importantly for the me I want to become. A me encouraged through your example.

Mike, can a mere thank you ever be enough if the typing is a bit off it is because I am trying to see through tears...Tears of Joy. Joy. Want an amazing thing . I knew it happens to other people. But what a thing-who would have thought-me. Thank you my friend, thank you so very much.

I bid you peace my brother.

Shaun/friendinneed


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#293096 - 06/26/09 12:22 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: friendinneed]
Jim1961 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/10/09
Posts: 1099
Loc: Pa, but likely traveling...
Mike,
Awesome man. It really touched me. You are a man of great courage. Very inspiring!

Good luck in your new endeavors. I know you will be successful!

Jim

_________________________
Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever. -Yes, Starship Trooper

My Story

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#293118 - 06/26/09 03:34 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Jim1961]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
Bravo Mike!!! Well done!

I want to feel empowered by being accepted
i would like to speak with other survivors to feel the acceptance and gain a conformation of what happened to me and therefor gain some strength from the mutual shared sense of understanding and acceptance of me and what I have been through.
It seems like you were able to do exactly that. That place looks like a really great resource for healing.
I think that is the importance of speaking with other survivors, we gain support and don't feel as alone with what we feel and have been through!

what a brave thing to do and what an awesome group to be apart of.

You rock,
Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#293119 - 06/26/09 03:39 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Logan]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
But Mark, P-House is filled with assholes and people who get off living in a vindictive manner!!!

Tell me I am lying!

Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#293155 - 06/26/09 09:54 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Logan]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
Wow Mike,

Inspiring for sure!

We have taken steps into the light, we can never go back.

I will never forget about the inspiring words I heard in this movie.

Bill

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

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#293446 - 06/29/09 12:26 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: mogigo]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6708
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: mogigo
Sorry guys it's 20 minutes but I'd be honoured if you'd watch it.

I did it because I'm not going to hide my face in shame anymore. That's what I decided when I started my journey, and that will be my decision until the end of my life.

http://www.thegatehouse.org/into-the-light

Stay strong
Mike




Edited by walkingsouth (11/29/09 01:03 AM)
Edit Reason: Edited to correct obsolete link

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#293461 - 06/29/09 01:08 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: mogigo]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Quťbec, Canada
Mike,

You have my humble thanks for this short as well as all of my admiration.

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#312170 - 11/28/09 06:26 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: joelRT]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
While the link to the video Mike did is no longer functional, I would like to share with you guys something that happened recently, and is a direct result of that video...

Just over a week ago, my T asked me if I could, or would consider making a speech, about being a male survivor. Eeek! eek Was she kidding me? Me? Come out about my abuse? Then she sent me the blurb for the venue. The keynote speaker was the guy who made that film. Art Lockhart, founder of The Gatehouse in Toronto. I was immediately compelled. I was hooked. That film, and Mike, and all those other guys in it, they saved my life.

I'd like to share most of what I said. For this post, I have removed identifying info. You can be assured though, that during the speech, I said my full name, and where I worked.

Helluva "coming out" party I tell ya! laugh



I was in the audience in March 2008 when Into The Light was premiered. As a professional attending the Men of Courage conference, I was awed, and amazed at the strength displayed by the men in that film. To see their resolve, and commitment to overcome the effects of childhood sexual abused convinced me that, as a Social Worker, although we barely touch the subject in our work at the jail, we simply had to do a better job. Clearly, we have been missing the proverbial boat, and have been missing it for a long time. While we can assess, identify and refer to programs such as Anger Management, Addictions, AA and NA, until such time as we can assess who these men see themselves as, as men, we are going to continue to miss the boat. I was equally struck by the pain that was both audible, and visible in that large room during the presentation of Into The Light. It was raw, and palpable. Some was very obvious: people crying. Some was more hidden as people, both men and women looked down at the floor, or away from the focus of their attention, covering their eyes so as not to be seen by others. It goes without saying that there were undoubtedly victims in the room, still hiding their shame and guilt. Still feeling like it was their fault, and that they were alone with the history of being abused.

After the film was premiered, those men who displayed great courage in having their stories recorded then presented themselves for a panel in front of 300 plus total strangers, and proceeded to tell more of their stories, and to answer questions of an audience that was captivated by their resilience, and their belief in themselves. I was floored by the sheer guts, and determination it took to make oneself so vulnerable, and accessible, to total strangers, about an aspect of menís lives that is intensely private, and personal. These men clearly were leading by example, rejecting the historical sentence of shame and guilt that society would have them serve for being victims of sexual abuse and assault. These men were no longer victims. They were Survivors!

Immediately following the film and panel, I retreated to my hotel room with a colleague. I was in desperate need of a smoke. But instead of having a smoke, I began to shake. I couldnít have had a smoke if my life depended on it. I was shaking like a leaf. And for reasons unknown to me at that time, I turned to my colleague and said to him ďThat could have been my storyĒ. Never in my adult life had I told another person, a friend, a colleague, or even my wife of then 26 years, that I was sexually assaulted when I was a child.

What that conference, that film, those men did to me! What they did FOR me! I canít believe that I am here tonight saying what I am saying to you! Iíve never done this before. But because of that conference, that film, and those men I was able to start my healing journey, to reclaim my life, and to learn to stop hiding what was done to me, not by me.

It wasnít immediate by any means. It took a few more months until I could actually face the reality of the Social Worker needing a therapist, a counsellor, himself. I found mine at our local sexual assault centre. What a gem she has turned out to be! I also became connected to, and a member of MaleSurvivor.org, an incredible web based support site for men, their spouses, lovers, friends and family to learn about male sexual abuse and assault, and to feel connected to one another. Feeling isolated, and alone with this history is so normal for survivors, but its also toxic. Shortly after I joined MaleSurvivor a man said to me that in order to heal, the man, and the man alone must make the decision to get on a healing path. But once on that path, he cannot walk it alone. He must have support. And boy, did I ever get support! And guess from whom? From a man in the movie Into The Light who is also active on the website. WOW!

Since then, Iíve told my wife about my abuse, and Iíve told our two sons. Iíve even become more active in the movement, while at the same time trying to maintain a level of safety and comfort for me. Iíve attended two Weekends of Recovery where I have been able to meet other men, just like me. I canít tell you what its like to finally feel like I belong, and that like Mike in the movie, Iím not an alien. That what happened to me, and the approximately 2.7 million other Canadian men was never our fault. And that, despite carrying my shame and guilt for 38 years, it is possible to heal, even after that length of time.

Iím not all the way there, though. Wherever that is. I may never be. All I know is, that as a result of Art Lockhartís work, the men of Into The Light, those visionary people at The Menís Project in Ottawa, and my ever present support system of my family, That I was finally able to tell someone else that I was sexually abused. I was heard, and not judged. I learned that what happened to me was not my fault. I learned that that I can be happy in my life, and that I am normal, while what happened to me was not. I learned that I am not alone.

I am so thankful for what has happened to me since I saw Into The Light. Right now, I am thankful; that after so many years, so many years, that I can live in a secret free home. A home where I can be; just me.

Thank you to all for attending tonight. For showing your support of men. For showing your support for menís healing. We canít do it alone. We need you to help us on our healing journey. To be there, for us. To hold us, to help us cry and say what needs to be said. To hear us, and not judge us for what happened to us. To believe us, and to believe in us. We CAN do this!

Thank you.

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#312172 - 11/28/09 07:22 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Geeders]
Jim1961 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/10/09
Posts: 1099
Loc: Pa, but likely traveling...
Jim,

WOW!!!

That's fantastic! As you often say to others, "Take a bow! You deserve it!"

smile

Jim

_________________________
Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever. -Yes, Starship Trooper

My Story

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#312180 - 11/28/09 09:16 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Jim1961]
Casmir213 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 844
Loc: Northeast, USA
Great story Jim,

You're definitely a brave man and a stand up guy to have made that speech. I'm glad your therapist made that suggestion to you and that you were able to find the courage to take her up on it. You have taken a big step in your recovery and are a great role model for guys like me.

All the best,

Rocco

_________________________
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

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#312181 - 11/28/09 09:52 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Casmir213]
Tedure Offline


Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 203
Loc: Utah
Jim,

Thanks for sharing!! Way to go!!\



Ted

_________________________
When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.

Top
#312191 - 11/28/09 10:56 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Tedure]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Jim,

Incredible speech. You've officially become my new superhero!

What else can I say? Words aren't enough. Just fantastic, Jim.

sono



Edited by sono (11/28/09 10:56 PM)
_________________________
the family
the perp

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#312198 - 11/29/09 12:22 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: sono]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
_________________________
Thriving

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#312206 - 11/29/09 01:14 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: mogigo]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
AWESOME JIM JUST AWESOME.

I bet that was a freeing moment.

It gets the word out. BUT, I'll bet it will be the milestone of all milestones.

BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#312230 - 11/29/09 08:27 AM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: mogigo]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Thanks for this Mike! smile

Rick P is coming up on the 10th to see me at work. Yeah, I'll let him out later,,,, Maybe.. laugh I'm going to try and convince him to put the whole thing back on the net. While this abbreviated version is really good, the full version is, so, what..Life Changing! grin

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#312272 - 11/29/09 03:39 PM Re: The film I was apart of [Re: Geeders]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Agreed Jim, I was dissapointed at how little of the video is there

_________________________
Thriving

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