I have wondered since I was 10 if I was Gay.
I was abused by college guys who watched me while my Mom taught at a local univ. My Mom said I was to old for a babysitter at 13, but they came around telling my Mom they were tutoring me in math. I like to make out with guys At Parties and from the classes I work.
My Mom has never known this has been the hardest secret to keep from her. She has been a great mother. I was born a bastard.
She had to work hard to get to where she is.
I am scared and ashamed I am Gay.
Will

will, if you're gay, you're gay. there is no shame in that. if you're not, that's ok as well. many of us guys who are gay and were abused by other males learned to internalize cultural homophobia, causing us to loathe ourselves for being who we are.

it would probably be a good idea to work out these significant question with a therapist who specializes in male survivor issues. also, reading and absorbing mike lew's compelling survivors bible 'victim's no longer' will help put things in perspective for you.

whatever you are, you are just fine, and don't need adjusted. just be honest with yourself, and you will turn round right soon enough.

all the best,

ron

Perhaps you ought to check this link out first. One of our senior staff members here, Ken Singer LCSW, is writing a book on recovery from CSA and this is a preliminary take from his book. Certainly a lot of guys get confused about their sexuality when they get sexually abused as kids. It sounds like you are fairly young yet too, so the jury may yet be out on your developing sexuality too.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...5223#Post285223

Hope that this helps you a little,

Mark