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#290278 - 06/04/09 04:36 PM Supportive Mother xD
Whatever Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 62
Loc: Ontario, Canada
First mistake - allowing my mom to read Abused Boys by Mic Hunter. She is now a psychologist and personal adviser to me... or so she thinks.

Today she told me this book is giving her ideas. She said she is here for me and understands. OK that part is good i guess. But then she goes on to say I need to get on with my life. She has known for a few weeks and already wants me to just move along and be Mr. Happy. OK then I'm all fixed up. Sorry it took three weeks of you knowing to get all better. How fucking stupid of me.

It's like she is reading this book but not actually listening to what she is reading. She is pressuring me to talk to the bad guy, telling me I need to move on. Write him a letter or talk to him. It makes me so mad I just want to punch her a few times. I never would - but that's just how I feel. She seems to think everything will be just fine. She also suggested getting a stuffed animal (if you have read the book you know what I am talking about). But then she went out and wanted to buy one for me. That is NOT the idea talked about in the book.

I hate my mom for so many reasons but I just wanted to think that she is trying to be here for me now. But she isn't. She is just looking out for herself. Making sure my horrible childhood doesn't impact her life too much. I am such an inconvenience it makes me sick. Ok - that was stupid even as I typed it but I still feel that way.

But it is all on me to make everything all better. Just like I have always been there for her while she got beat by my dad and the 3-5 times a week my sister would run away from home. I have been the supporter in the family my whole life. But I guess I don't get the luxury of being supported. It's tough when I'm the only one in the family capable of it.

She has not supported me my whole life, but now she thinks she is my sidekick. Well screw her.

But, it is up to her. The more she pressures me, the more holes I make in the wall with my fist. My bedroom door is beginning to look like swiss cheese. Oh well, it's her house. smile

Yay! I vented.

ps- i have mommy issues grin

Have a nice day!



Edited by Whatever (06/04/09 04:38 PM)
Edit Reason: horrible spelling!
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#290280 - 06/04/09 04:49 PM Re: Supportive Mother xD [Re: Whatever]
Whatever Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 62
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Nice, first reply!

I just wanted to add that reading Abused Boys by Mic Hunter is definitely worth it. After reading through most of it, some things make more sense, I have a lot more questions, and even some answers. Most likely, I'll be reading over the various sections over the next little while, too.

But it is also very emotionally draining as you may have noticed from the above post. smile



Edited by Whatever (06/04/09 04:50 PM)
_________________________
"Trying is the first step to failure"
-Quote by Homer J. Simpson - World's greatest dad

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#290290 - 06/04/09 05:50 PM Re: Supportive Mother xD [Re: Whatever]
ComicBookGuy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 443
Loc: London, England
It really sounds like holding you back and taking over your healing process is her idea of helping and if she won't back off, you need to get your T to tell her in just the one session, or get a job and start saving up - only saving up, given the economy right now - then move out if you're not scheduled for any kind of college study that would take you away from home.



Edited by ComicBookGuy (11/08/10 06:51 PM)
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#290299 - 06/04/09 07:12 PM Re: Supportive Mother xD [Re: ComicBookGuy]
Casmir213 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 845
Loc: Northeast, USA
Whatever,

Believe me I can relate to that "Get over it already/don't dwell on it." motherly advice that your mother so "helpfully" gave you. I believe this advice is in the mother's handbook they are given when they get pregnant with their first child. Yeah, I remember now, it's in the "Sweep It Under The Rug" chapter.

You may be able to find a way of being in your household where your mother doesn't interfere with your recovery process as much while still living at home. It's a matter of putting some distance/boundaries between you and her. I think having and using this site is a very good first step in being less reliant on her for your recovery, such that you can build some distance between you and her by continuing to vent here and discuss other things that might be on your mind.

Good luck,

Rocky

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I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

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#290301 - 06/04/09 07:18 PM Re: Supportive Mother xD [Re: ComicBookGuy]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
Quote:

I hate my mom for so many reasons but I just wanted to think that she is trying to be here for me now. But she isn't. She is just looking out for herself. Making sure my horrible childhood doesn't impact her life too much. I am such an inconvenience it makes me sick. Ok - that was stupid even as I typed it but I still feel that way.


I don't think that was stupid at all. I think it's closer to the truth than you think.

My Mother is 100% the same way. It all matters as far as it effects her. Period. Outside of that, she really doesn't give a rats ass. As long as she thinks I'm happy and good etc, she's great. But if somehow I'm not and she thinks I'm mad/upset at her, well then the anger/pissy mommey will arrive and tell me about how I'm being disrespectful, blah blah, if I share my feelings it'll be more of the same, Hell, she'll even stoop so low as to quote>

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