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#288269 - 05/21/09 02:20 AM I Shall Beg No More...
Whicker Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/03
Posts: 117
Loc: Pastures of Oregon
These past few months have been extremely difficult.
I thought moving to a new place, starting-over, would really help me get over/through my issues.
What I didn't count on was that the grief of loosing my SoulMate of 17 years would slam into me like a jackhammer, now that "I" had free time. When being so alone would begin to manifest (wereas before, I was homeless, in 'Survival Mode', and couldn't afford to deal with things, while trying to stay alive/healthy)...
I've had to reach-out, time and again, asking for help, only to be choked with red-tape by a System that really doesn't give a rat's ass...

So, I wrote this. It's venting. It's about anger, and desperation.

Do not be afraid,
To ask for some help,
They all say with a smile.

So few I have met,
Fewer still seem to care,
Much less walk my proverbial mile.

For How many years,
Ignored and dismissed,
Is One supposed to endure such strife?

Each hour-by-hour,
Day-by-slow-Day,
Agony that is now my Life.

The internal wounds,
So deep and so broad,
Seen and felt only by me.

So I cut and I rend,
Mine own well-scarred flesh,
Hoping that now they will see!?

The day now draws near,
I feel its final approach,
My Spirit, broken and rent.

I kneel in the Dark,
Shut tight my wet eyes,
My Strength and Will fully spent!

With a long exhaled breath,
I will take those last steps,
Smiling as I pass through that Door.

Never again shall I know,
The pain and misery of this Life,
And I shall Beg again no more!

This is no 'Final Note.'
This is not a Surrender!

It is just a way to help me through yet another terrible Day...

Whicker

_________________________
Esse Quam Videri
(To be, rather than to seem)

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#288469 - 05/22/09 02:57 PM Re: I Shall Beg No More... [Re: Whicker]
Still Online   sad
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6538
Loc: Never Sugar Mountain
Well Said!!!! Well Done!!!!

_________________________
Stop expecting people to be other than what they are! You'll be so much better-off. [Christopher, age 10]

The Aftermath Video

My Absolute Hero!

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#289289 - 05/28/09 07:50 PM Re: I Shall Beg No More... [Re: Still]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Whicker,

I'm glad this is a coping tool and not a final note of surrender. I have so often found that allowing myself to be creative - through poetry or music - is a great way to pull together the strength I needed to get through a bad spot. I wish you all the very best.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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