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#287991 - 05/18/09 11:23 PM Sexual Assault at Work
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
I just need to get this off my chest so I hope it isn't upsetting to others if I share this.

For those who aren't aware I work in a homeless shelter. Tonight an intoxicated male exposed himself to a female staff memember and began masturbating in front of her, which in the country I'm from is considered sexual assault according to the criminal code. The staff memeber involved notified our manager of this person's behaviour, stressing that he should be barred from recieving services until further notice. (It should also be noted that the client in question has a history of sexually innappropriate behaviour toward female staff, some of it recent). The manager, however, tried to dismiss it, saying that everyone deserves a second, 3rd chance, etc. This immediately got my back up since I believe when it comes to sexual offences once chance is more than enough. Anyways I called our manager on this, who responded by saying that he didn't like my tone, etc, despite that I was more than professional with him. In the end I went above his head and encouraged the victim, the female staff member, to contact the police, which she did, resulting in charges be laid against the offending client. I feel good about this but at the same time am I personalizing things, given my sa history? On the surface I don't believe so but underneath I can help but question myself. Either way the right thing was done in the end so I suppose I should remember that. My next battle is going to my manager's superiors concerning how poorly he handled things since I feel strongly that this lack of action can't happen again. Wish me luck with that. JS

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Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#287994 - 05/18/09 11:36 PM Re: Sexual Assault at Work [Re: jls]
wojax Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/22/04
Posts: 171
Loc: Florida
Sounds to me like a mental health problem....If you are going to work with the least of society things like that will happen...We have many vets out there that are homeless and do some very bad things..They need help not jail..
As apolice officer I have ran into many situations like this..It is better left to the mental health people....
I think you over reacted...
Gary

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Jer 7:23 ps 91:16

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#287995 - 05/18/09 11:40 PM Re: Sexual Assault at Work [Re: wojax]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Gary,

May I ask, should someone who has committed sex crimes against multiple individuals be allowed to continue to do so without some form of legal intervention? Was this the position you took as a police officer, or that you take as a survivor?

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Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#288008 - 05/19/09 01:21 AM Re: Sexual Assault at Work [Re: jls]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
I don't think you over reacted. True, the guy probably has a mental health problem, but if you think about it, if a guy was about to rape a female, taking off his pants and beginning to masturbate would be a logical start and how was that woman to know that this was not the person's intention?

Of course I don't know the details, but that's my thoughts on the matter.

I think it's kind of a wrong-headed notion to call the act it's self a sexual assault, but it should be looked at the same as threatening someone if it's done in a situation where it would be logical for the person to feel threatened by it.

I don't know how much good it will do though. If he has a history, then nothing has worked so far.



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#288011 - 05/19/09 01:37 AM Re: Sexual Assault at Work [Re: blueshift]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Whether you call what he did "wrong headed", according to the law in this country what he did is sexual assault, that is targeting someone with unwanted sexual behaviour I mean. No amount of pontificating from memebers here can change this with concern to the law of the land where I live. The young woman involved is barely 20 and the perpetrator is well in to his 40's so what does that say? The act in question was done in a dark dorm where she did indeed feel threatened, which from talking to her she was visibly upset about it afterward. Maybe I should also mention that the client in question in this matter also has a past conviction for sexually assaulting a child. I didn't want to bring that up but there it is. Anyways I'm having a hard time accepting that some members here want to make excuses for a perpetrator so I'll go now. Maye I need a break from this board

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#288013 - 05/19/09 01:56 AM Re: Sexual Assault at Work [Re: jls]
wojax Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/22/04
Posts: 171
Loc: Florida
What did the man do? Was he trying to rape your fellow worker..if so why did she not say something..Was he going to sexuly assult anyone but his self..
Yes what he did was wrong....But , like here these people need to be kept safe..And Learn how to act....Go where mentaly retared boys are and you will find them doing the same thing...should we lock them in jail?
I think a little more wisdom couod have been used...Like your boss used...

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Jer 7:23 ps 91:16

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#288022 - 05/19/09 04:02 AM Re: Sexual Assault at Work [Re: wojax]
crazy73 Offline


Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 26
deleted



Edited by crazy73 (09/23/09 04:28 AM)

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#288027 - 05/19/09 06:56 AM Re: Sexual Assault at Work [Re: crazy73]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
I think you did the right thing. His having a history sounds an alarm that he is sliding back into behaviors - if he ever stopped. It was not your place to decide whether he needed therapy or jail. Your supervisor should have some influence in the community to help with that. In the meantime there was no recourse but to report it. I am sure there are vulnerable children in the shelter.

As for police. I have met both insensitive to sexual assaults and those very caring. It takes training and understanding.

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#288047 - 05/19/09 10:27 AM Re: Sexual Assault at Work [Re: prisonerID]
Gus Bierer Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/16/05
Posts: 160
This is an interesting topic. Your manager made his decision based on the incident being a mental health issue, not a sexual assault. I have lived in a mission, and worked running the mission. I saw a lot of people who had lost their minds.

My guess is this guy has lost his will to fight his sexual impulses. I mean look at how the guy is living, obviously he feels he has nothing to lose.

Another thing, the mission i was at was a mens shelter, there were no female staff. Maybe it would be better to keep men and women shelter's separate.

I also believe the right thing was done by having a police report made on the individual. Since he no doubt has spent time in jail, usually some kind of police involvement will get the perps. attention. Everyone knows, especially people who have got into trouble, that a police interview is a predicate to going to jail. The police are watching him now, and he probably knows it, so if there is another incident, the perp knows he's going to jail.

I lived at the mission for 6 mths. The cops really go after homeless people that cause trouble. I worked at the front desk and dealt with the homeless as they came in the door. I know all about services and cutting services off.

Since you guys knew he had sexual problems, I think it's really stupid on the shelter's part to have a 20 something woman around this guy. A homeless shelter is no place for a soft girl. What this guy needed was someone to go off on him as he was committing the offense. Like how some black girls lose their tempers, the guy needed his sexual spirit broke right as the incident was happening. Then he would have an idea of what his behavior gets him, kind of aversion therapy.

I just know it's a tough world out there being homeless and working with the homeless. You have to understand what these people are capable of. You can't pretend to believe if your nice to them, they're are going to be nice and respectful back. Some people view that as weakness, fearful, and they see an opportunity to take advantage of you.

I don't think the girl should have been hired in the first place. I even knew this sweet little christian girl, who never suffered a moment in her life, tell me how she went to a soup kitchen and helped serve the homeless food one night. She was shocked at how ungrateful the homeless people were. I laughed at her...she had no freakin' idea what it was like for those homeless people, how wounded, broken, and misrable those people were.

A homeless shelter is no place for some dumb girl...SMARTEN' UP!!!



Gus

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#288053 - 05/19/09 11:30 AM Re: Sexual Assault at Work [Re: Gus Bierer]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
JLS, you did exactly the right thing, actually I think you went above and beyond doing the right thing. There will always be those that shy away from what's not only the right thing but the harder thing to do, including police officers. If police officers (including past CSA officers) had the proper training the would recognize instantly you did exactly what you were supposed to do. The first step to preventing sexual assault is to remove the threat, once he's safe in police custody where he is no longer a threat, THEN!!! it can be determined what type of help he needs.

Unfortunately since police are so overwhelmed they get to a point where minor violation's become a nuisence.

Quote: "you over-reacted" My words: call us when she has been raped, because MAYBE he might not go that far. Ughhh, pretty sad opinion from a CSA officer.

SS
Mike

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