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#287917 - 05/18/09 10:42 AM it
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
inside
            deep inside
    there is a place ... no ... not a place
    a ... a thing
       entity
            substance

  a spherical ball of chaos that has no defined shape or size

it doesn't move
      or grow

            my body just experienes such uneasiness
      and anxiety
over its presence

it causes me no harm
      in fact
      if i ignore it
            i don't even recognize its there

but

should i examine it
      look into its depths

the heavy tar of fear engulfs me
      taking my breath
            causing strain to my heart

      and should i touch it
            i am assailed with so many thoughts
        memories
    pieces
jumbled
                  rushing at incredible speed
      bouncing from the walls of my mind

to pull free is almost hopeless

without a helpful hand
      it is near impossible

so then

knowing what i do
      about this ... entity
            and its effects

why am i so curious
            so determined
to know what it is
            and draw it into the awareness

      that is me


_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#287933 - 05/18/09 01:25 PM Re: it [Re: MarkK]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

My first thought here is that you've got a lot of helping hands here.

I know what you mean by that "heavy tar of fear". It's difficult to struggle against that feeling, but that's what we need to do, and that's exactly what you're doing here.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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