Newest Members
dspwilson, Won'tGiveUp, sillyputty, Pytbull, manipulated
12384 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Alan Fountain (52), blindpet (31), egoror (49), Midas (33), uwa (78)
Who's Online
3 registered (pufferfish, bluesky, tbkkfile), 19 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12384 Members
74 Forums
63653 Topics
444536 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#287344 - 05/13/09 01:30 PM You Left Me
Hidden15 Offline


Registered: 03/30/09
Posts: 33
Loc: Australia
You left me
Drowning in my own tears
You left me
Blaming myself for years
You left me
Insecure and scared
You left me
Thinking no one could care
You left me
Hurt and broken
You left me
Nothing but hopingÖ

This is just another poem i decided to jot down.

MS Brothers!!

I want to believe you have changed
But Iím fill with fear
Will you do it again?
Will anyone care?
I donít want to be your toy
I donít want to hurt anymore
I want to find my feet
And walk straight out your door
I donít need you
I can survive by myself
I donít need you
Iíve got a place that can help
They listen to me
I have a story to tell
How you destroyed my childhood
How YOU put me through hell
This place is my place to get away from you
Itís nothing you can ever have
This place is not made for people like you
We all have a journey
A path to share
And we as brothers
We WILL make it there!

_________________________
You left me
Drowning in my own tears
You left me
Blaming myself for years
You left me
Insecure and scared
You left me
Thinking no one could care
You left me
Hurt and broken
You left me
Nothing but hopingÖ

Top
#287356 - 05/13/09 04:09 PM Re: You Left Me [Re: Hidden15]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Chris,

I especially like the way you end your first poem. Abusers can take away so many things, but so long as we hold on to our hope all those things can be regained. And no one can snatch away your hope, my friend. The only way we can lose that is to throw it away.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#293791 - 07/01/09 04:44 AM Re: You Left Me [Re: roadrunner]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Chris,

I came back to some poems I had commented on previously, and I wanted to add something about the first poem above.

This is about your brother, who, as I saw in your story, is 5 years older than you and ran away from home when you were 12. I can imagine how bad that must have hurt and how abandoned you must have felt. You were alone at a very vulnerable age with two violent and abusive parents.

But would it help you to think back to what this must have been like for him? He was being beaten and abused as well, and as the older sibling he would have begun to see he had options at a time when you were not yet able to perceive those same possibilities. Remember too that when he left it was right after an episode in which he finally stood up to your father, refused to be beaten anymore and fought back. He might have left feeling he had no choice.

In another case like this, Chris, the two brothers finally found one another and it was a powerful experience for both of them. They were both able to see that what they did they did in order to survive. Yes, the older brother had run away, but so too did the younger one as soon as he was older and had the chance. The older brother had not tried to get back in touch with his little brother not because he didn't care, but because he was so full of guilt and shame. He feared he would be rejected and blamed.

I hope you two find each other again. It shouldn't be too difficult since both of you are now over 18 and will be generating all sorts of ways you can be located: credit cards, driver's license, tax returns, etc. I think you will find that each of you was in an utterly impossible situation, one that neither of you created. For both of you it finally got so bad that the only option was to run.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#293803 - 07/01/09 07:56 AM Re: You Left Me [Re: roadrunner]
b869 Offline


Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 767
Loc: Philippines
Chris,

Thanks a nice poem thanks for sharing


Marvin

_________________________

When thing get complicated go back to simplicity

Harvey Fierstein
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, Publius 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.