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#319433 - 01/19/10 06:32 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Anarion Cti]
Dusty Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 280
Loc: Australia
Ron,

I just re read this post from the beginning and picked up on something in the first post. “Buddy's dad cried blaming himself for not being able to be there for his son”.

It is my opinion that by giving Buddy the tools, support and good parenting he was there before it happened, something a lot of us never had. Good parenting gives the kids the tools to act bravely like your little buddy has.

When I was that age I was approached by a man that wanted to show me his marbles, I knew what he meant and ran away BUT I could not tell the parents, I did not trust them. So I lived with the guilt.

Dusty[i][/i]


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#319469 - 01/20/10 08:00 AM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Sans Logos]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
hey guys, you're the best. i shared your comments with the family, reading them from my iphone as we sat waiting for the meeting with the assistant DA. i gave him a tiger eye quartz crystal to keep in his pocket for courage, confidence and strength. he was beaming from ear to ear, and was able to manage his anticipatory anxiety quite well.

as it turns out, the meeting yesterday was a preliminary preparatory meeting with the assistant DA, where kenny was filled in on the range of possibilities for what to expect [sucks that a little boy has to even encounter such a situation! don't we all know that!!!]

the asst. DA asked kenny if he had any questions, and told him about how since this is a first offense for patrick, the perp, that even though he presented a signed confession, there is a chance that he may not get jail time.

the trial date had been set for february 17th, but the family was informed that that will have to be moved because the judge has another matter to adjudicate at that time. the asst. DA suggested that the date would most likely be moved to may. he also explained that the perp's defense may try to avoid going to court and attempt to present a plea bargain. the DA and the family don't want kenny to have to tell his story too many many more times, to too many more people [ pretty demoralizing for a young boy, eh?] but they are ready to do whatever it takes, following kenny's lead of course. their bottom line is they will be satisfied knowing that patrick will get all that the law has the power to enforce.

we keep focusing on shadowwalker's brilliant comment that kenny has stopped him from doing this to other boys, and he seems satisfied with that, however, he is concerned that if patrick does not get jail time, that he will be free to do it to others, still ..... a very valid concern.

if the perp does cop a plea, then he will be evaluated by the state to see if he has psychological proclivities for predatory behavior. kenny's mom is ready to do some serious public broadcasting once this is over. she is adamant that if there is a plea bargain that he be registered as an offender on megan's law website.

we'll have to wait and see what happens in may. but for now, kenny knows that he has many people supporting him, even though he still suffers from fears around strange situations, and is apprehensive about things that young boys his age should not have been made aware of at his age, in the first place.

ah, the legacy of abuse ....... i'll keep you posted, and thanks so much for your concern.

all the best,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#319505 - 01/20/10 01:01 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Sans Logos]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Just curious, but Is requiring treatment for Patrick part of his sentence? Other than the evaluation for predatory behavior?


_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#319510 - 01/20/10 02:16 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: LandOfShadow]
just me Offline


Registered: 05/27/09
Posts: 193
Thanks for the update and for sharing our support with the family.

"to see if he has psychological proclivities for predatory behavior."
I think we already know the answer to this! frown

_________________________
My Story

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#325423 - 03/16/10 04:44 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Sans Logos]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
here's the recent scoop on kenny, relayed from kenny's mom:

........Kenny's trial was last Wednesday. The guy, Patrick Duda, did plead guilty. The deal was, he could plead guilty without a jury trial if he agreed to be evaluated by a Sex Offenders Board. Once he's evaluated, they will determine how long he's to be on Megan's Law. He will also have to undergo a certain amount of time of therapy. That will also be determined by the board. From what I'm told, he's probably going to have therapy for 12 months.

If he gets arrested again for the same charges (or worse), he will have to be on Megan's Law for the rest of his life. Right now, going on Megan's Law, he'll have to report any changes of address, if he buys a new car or if he changes jobs. If he's on there for life, he will have to check in every 72 hours to let them know where he is. If he's late checking in (like the 73 hour), they will have a warrant out for his arrest. The only thing is, there's only so many men per each offender and they very rarely arrest them right away. Hopefully he doesn't do this again or even worse.

[the members of our immediate family] are permitted to type/write a statement of how this affected our lives. We will need to submit our statements to OUR attorney and he'll share them with Patrick's attorney. As long as the wording isn't degrading, they will permit us to read them out loud to Patrick on the day of sentencing which is set for July 6th. If Kenny writes down how he feels and if he gets too nervous come July 6th to where he can't read it, the judge will then read it for him to Patrick.

Kenny was very good at the trial. He kept his eye on Patrick the entire time. Kenny didn't have to say anything. We had 2 ladies from Victims of Crimes assist Kenny while we waited for our turn. Even though we had to be there by 8:30 we weren't seen until 11:15 so we sat for a while, watching inmates being transported from one court room to the other, wearing shackles and hand cuffs.

=============

although we know that kenny's ordeal is far from over, i want to thank you all for the support you gave throughout this process. at least he got the closure he deserved. it meant the world to kenny and his family.

warmest regards,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#325426 - 03/16/10 05:26 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Sans Logos]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 820
Loc: Ohio
Thanks Kenny, you are doing something that I wish I had been able to do. Whether the system lets us all down or not, you did your part. We would all be better off if every kid followed Kenny's example.

_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

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#325430 - 03/16/10 06:07 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: catfish86]
Gus Bierer Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/16/05
Posts: 160
Ron

Wow! Thanks for bringing us this story. I would like to commend Kenny on his courage and it seems like he was heavily supported which is just unbelievably great. Wasn't like that for us was it, I think a lot of guys would agree.

It seems that Patrick will get atleast 12 mths of therapy, and I like the consequences for him if he ever acts out again. Things have come a long ways since i was a kid.

Great results


Gus

_________________________
My Story

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