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#286916 - 05/09/09 09:23 PM my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
little buddy went to the movies with this mom and sister this weekend; dad stayed home. buddy is a very responsible little guy and more mature than most little guys his age. he is an altar boy in the church, he helps out in the choir whenever needed. when he asked to go the to the restroom while waiting for the movie to begin, his mom asked if he wanted her to go with him. he said 'nah' i can handle it.

buddy goes into the washroom and goes about his business. a stranger comes up behind him squeezes his butt, gets real close to his ear, and breathes into it, and says 'you wanna jerk off?'. mortified, buddy freezes, but he leaves and goes back to the theater. when he gets there mom asks 'did you wash your hands'? buddy says, no wait mom, something really wierd just happened, and he told her his story.

mom went and found the manager, who called the police. the police arrived and found the perp and handcuffed him. the county sexual abuse team was called to the scene. buddy was interviewed. the perp handcuffed denied the accusation. the team lined up right in the movie theater three guys and buddy was instructed to identify the man who approached him. the man was taken into custody.

buddy was worried that the man would find him and harm him. all of a sudden he was pleading please don't tell my friends, they'll think i'm gay.

another young innocent soul pierced and sullied by the bane of sexual assault. another little guy impregnated with the seed of fear and terror that he will be stalked, that he will be marked as having something about him that invited the perp's advances.

how can he ever be convinced that he did nothing wrong, that he will be safe. what guarantees does he have?

another young boy's life interrupted.

please pray for this beautiful family. the good thing in all of this is that they have a very healthy system, with deep love and respect each of the members for the other. buddy's dad is one heck of guy and i am happy to call him friend.

buddy's mom approached me and told me about what happened just before our service this evening right when the choir was getting ready to sing; she and dad knew about my history of having been abused. she just blurted it out: 'buddy was sexually assaulted! emotions were high in the choir this evening.

buddy went about, business as usual and gave service at the altar. buddy's dad cried blaming himself for not being able to be there for his son.

tragic and sad, another one baptized into the 1 in 6 club.

ron



_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#286917 - 05/09/09 09:26 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Sans Logos]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
I'm really sorry that happened Ron, my heart goes out to the boy and his family, i'm glad you were able to help even if just by listening to his mother.

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#286921 - 05/09/09 09:31 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Sans Logos]
b869 Offline


Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 767
Loc: Philippines
I'm glad they found the perp but I'm so sorry about your buddy Ron.

_________________________

When thing get complicated go back to simplicity

Harvey Fierstein
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.

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#286927 - 05/09/09 10:17 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: b869]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
This is not a tragedy. It's a victory.

How many countless other boys who were raised by emotionally distant parents and in dysfunctional families would have simply not said anything? I really don't know if I would have tried to tell were I in that situation at that age........but I have my doubts. I probably would have shrugged it off, so to speak.

My point is, HE TOLD SOMEONE THAT HE KNEW HE COULD TRUST, HE WAS BELIEVED, TAKEN SERIOUSLY, AND THE APPROPRIATE ACTION WAS TAKEN.

Obviously, a better scenario of this story would be that in never happened at all, but this is the very next best thing, if you ask me.


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#286939 - 05/09/09 11:37 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Hauser]
Dusty Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 280
Loc: Australia
I have to agree with Hauser
HE TOLD SOMEONE THAT HE KNEW HE COULD TRUST, HE WAS BELIEVED, TAKEN SERIOUSLY, AND THE APPROPRIATE ACTION WAS TAKEN.
I could never tell my care givers, your little buddy and his family are ausome
Dusty


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#286943 - 05/09/09 11:56 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Sans Logos]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 301
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Ever since the tears came in Apr/08 I have cried so many times, and moments like now jog all the intensity back up
Ron, you must be so upset, pissed and full of emotions. I trust you will, still...
I am glad the predator was caught, hopefully; I have doubts tho, the lowlife will do hard time for a long time, I say;
"Hang the bastard."
My prayers and concern;

_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

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#287037 - 05/11/09 12:06 AM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: men_of_hrts.dbw]
Shadow+Walker Offline


Registered: 04/16/09
Posts: 287
Loc: desolate foggy nights, USA
Ron,
I am sorry and outraged this happened to Buddy. I concur with you in re-assuring him that there was nothing wrong with him that caused this to happen. All the perp wanted was a kid, just like a bank robber wants the money. It is not the money or the bank at fault - it is the robber who is wrong and at fault. I am glad that the jerk got to spend the rest of his weekend in jail, considering his own perversity and stupidity. Tomorrow he will get to explain his curious behavior to a judge and begin preparing for a difficult legal process. Buddy did just fine. A big high five for having the wherewithall to tell and stick with the process of making the complaint for the report and making the positive identification.

Pass this along:
Thanks Buddy! Your city is safer tonight for other kids because you were so brave when you needed to be.

Peace,
Shadow+Walker

_________________________
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love and self discipline. (St Paul, 2Timothy 1:7) NIV

Check out a cool song by a hot band..."Unbreakable" by Fireflight: official video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWRJAHaOrYg

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#287073 - 05/11/09 08:06 AM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Sans Logos]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
hey guys, thank you for your support and comments. i will pass on the love to my little buddy and his family.

shadow walker, your point of view never occured to me. and it is just the right statement to supplant what has already been placed in buddy's brain. reminding him how he saved others from this perp is the perfect angle for replacing his fear and potentially encroaching doubt about his own sexuality. bravo! i think you gave him the key to unlock what could have been a potential lifetime ball and chain. he'll always know that he did the right thing, and that is the best reminder for bringing himself back to square one no matter what life stage he finds himself in the future.

all the best guys, you never cease to amaze me.

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#298868 - 08/11/09 05:52 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Sans Logos]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
update:

got this from chrissy, little kenny's mom the other day:

[after several delays....can you believe it????

Quote:
Today [july 20th] was Kenny's preliminary trial. That guy, Patrick, waved his right to the preliminary so now it gets sent downtown to be reviewed by a judge. A hearing will be scheduled sometime after Christmas. Ken's not too pleased with all of this. He thought Patrick should go to jail until the hearing but the law says "innocent until proven guilty." I don't think that should be the case when you have a signed confession though.


_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


Top
#298875 - 08/11/09 06:41 PM Re: my little buddy 10 years old: now 1 in 6 [Re: Sans Logos]
JDV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 311
The wheels of Justice grind slowly, but it's a necessary process. Look at it this way. The perp has this uncertainty hanging over his head for months on end. Depending on his record, he may be looking at a very long time in the clink. Imagine if you had that hanging over your head? So, enjoy his discomfort and fear about the uncertainty. While it's hard on Kenny and his mom to have this drawn out, it may be even harder on the perp. :-)

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