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#284679 - 04/20/09 10:20 PM male survivors and gender/sexuality confusion?
Bartosz Offline

Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 1
Loc: Canada
hi. I'm new here though i've known about this place through a group program i did. This has been bothering me like crazy; maybe even driving me crazy, but i have fantasies/fetishes ( i really don't know which it is) that make me question both gender and sexuality.... anyone out here with some good words... please

"panta rei" - everything flows/changes, i've been trying to move forward but i feel i'm not getting anywhere

#284697 - 04/20/09 11:32 PM Re: male survivors and gender/sexuality confusion? [Re: Bartosz]
joelRT Offline

Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada

First, let me welcome you to MS smile

I'm really not too sure about what you're asking here and you're not giving me much to go on.

Don't misunderstand please, I know how very hard it is to make the initial post and we all of us here know how hard it is to put our very personal stuff out on the DB for all to read. I aplaude you for your courage and celebrate with you your strength in taking the chance of reaching out.

If I'm reading this right, then yes I have struggled many years in the past with gender identity issues that relate directly to my childhood sexual abuse. So much so in fact, that at fourteen I became a girl and lived as a woman 'till the age of twenty eight. It was a hellish struggle but not an insurmountable one. I'm fifty two years old today and I never once question who I am or what I am as it relates to my gender.

Whatever it is that is causing you such distress, please be assured that there are answers and most importantly, there are solutions.

My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

#284707 - 04/21/09 12:30 AM Re: male survivors and gender/sexuality confusion? [Re: joelRT]
1islandboy Offline

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 868
Loc: washington

I would also like to welcome you to MS.

I would also like to add...YOU ARE NOT ALONE...!!! (in the bothering and questioning).

...The journey is inward...Sometimes a rough road, but there are gifts along the way...

I have found a lot of serenity here...

Welcome Aboard...!!!

Crazy Train (The Wizard of Ozz)


Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

#284715 - 04/21/09 01:40 AM Re: male survivors and gender/sexuality confusion? [Re: 1islandboy]
Dusty Boy Offline

Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 280
Loc: Australia
Hi there and welcome. You are not alone my friend here at MS there are a lot of guys wondering the same thing. Take your time and keep posting and reading what others post, this is a safe place to let it out.
I hope you find this site as healing for you as it has been for me.


#284779 - 04/21/09 02:57 PM Re: male survivors and gender/sexuality confusion? [Re: Bartosz]
ohhWilbur Offline

Registered: 04/21/09
Posts: 2
Hi .. I'm new here, too, and I have a lot to say about the idea of crossdressing and "gender issues" being the result of childhood abuse. Most interesting, perhaps, is how the "Transgender" community is almost violently opposed to the notion that gender confusion could be the result of abuse. Moderator .. new thread, perhaps?

#284792 - 04/21/09 04:34 PM Re: male survivors and gender/sexuality confusion? [Re: ohhWilbur]
ModTeam Offline

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 712

I see you just joined here minutes ago and quite possibly did not fully read the guidelines before posting.

Male survivor does not endorse speculations arising from within one's subjectivity as they are related to issues of 'why' things are as they are, particularly regarding subjects to which you have referred.

We are an inclusive community focused on recovery from the experiences of male sexual assault and abuse, not a think tank for purportedly unmasking a members or an entire class of members' self-deceit. We simply do not in engage in such types of speculation, and we respect all persons here without question, and further we ask that all users respectfully refrain from initiating such dialogues that would demean others or devalue the manner they are living out their lives.

Conversation about such things are discouraged here (as noted in our guidelines for participation) as they invariably turn to side-car discussions about morality, take on an indicting tone, which casts aspersion on a particular class and ultimately diverts us from our primary purpose.

Certain discussion are allowed in the appropriate forum, the Open Forum, but again we do not create arguments that would diminish the value of any of our constituency in any way. There are many other places on the internet, not necessarily recovery related that would accommodate such conversations.

Ron aka Sans Logos
for the ModTeam

Private messages sent to this account are checked irregularly due to personnel and time constraints. Please send messages to one of the moderators for the forum that is concerned by user name, or if there is no named moderator, send a PM to any moderator.

#285095 - 04/23/09 03:45 PM Re: male survivors and gender/sexuality confusion? [Re: ModTeam]
ohhWilbur Offline

Registered: 04/21/09
Posts: 2
Well, one more community I can't expect any support from. Great.

#285097 - 04/23/09 04:04 PM Re: male survivors and gender/sexuality confusion? [Re: ohhWilbur]
wes-b Offline

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

My Brother;

you have my love, support, and prayers for healing and recovery. And I am happily a part of said community. As a whole we have boundries that we find condusive to the healing and support of each member of this community. These boundries are in place and work to assist each of us in keeping a balance between our individual rights and our individual responsibilities.

Find what works for you and set down that which does not.

Love, Wes

Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

#286591 - 05/07/09 11:20 AM Re: male survivors and gender/sexuality confusion? [Re: Bartosz]
the sol survivor Offline

Registered: 02/27/09
Posts: 9
Loc: atl, ky, tn, & ny
im gonna post something that Im witting about this later on this evening

#286592 - 05/07/09 11:21 AM Re: male survivors and gender/sexuality confusion? [Re: ohhWilbur]
the sol survivor Offline

Registered: 02/27/09
Posts: 9
Loc: atl, ky, tn, & ny
dont feel that way......... come back later on tonight and ill have something up for you to read..........


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

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