Because my time is short, I have to be quick about something that is apparently very important. I have been exchanging messages with at least two persons who are either parents of children who have special needs because of CSA or who themselves need special guidance because of their own CSA.

Survivors have major problems in our educational system. Their traumas are probably mis-diagnosed by the system as a variety of other disabilities (such as ad and adhd) and they are sometimes sidelined or medicated because of it.

Survivors have all kinds of special problems in relating to classroom and individual instruction. They have: 1. dissociation problems during instruction. 2. problems interacting with other students. 3. Behavioral problems. 4. Family problems 5. Problems in concentrating on school work. 6. Issues with PTSD. 7. Special problems with projection and transferrence.

I am sure the list could go on. In fact, it probably needs to be refined and amended.

I was able to have some succeess educationally because I was able to solve many of my own problems with the system in an effective way. There are lots of guys (and gals) who need assistance in achieving success with the educational system.

We need a forum where educational issues for survivors are specifically discussed.

Allen

pufferfish

Come on guys, certainly somebody must be willing to second my motion!

Allen

pufferfish

I know in my growing up which while not subject to sexual asault - my father was drunk often and abusive and my mother had one of those emeshed relationships with me. In 7th or 8th grade I got diagnosed with a slew of learning dissabilities. These where hardly such to me because they served as the name by which I could validate how I had been learning- through dialogue and movies and drama and empathy and art, etc. I think the conect is a fruitfull one. We can get so caught in a theraputic model which is by definition pathologizing.

My theological or religious convictions are a way that I make sense of a different orientation since I start with the theoretical idea that there is a brokeness to the workld. My struggles and yours are as much a representation of an attempt against all odds to live a loving and passionate conection to people and the world in light of devestating brokeness as they are about a disorder and distortion. I do think this does call for a reflectiveness about our assumptions because it is all to easy to think our fears are the voice of our unwounded self- or to think that the vicious motives we imagine of anotehr are in fact true. I have every right to operate according to that likelihood but to impose my perception would seem to simply pathologize as the happy outcpome of my hard one attempt to be honored for difference.

This gets at some touching issues with an ex where I think I here his words and meaning and can not seem to find any enterence where by he can safely hear that my actions where - though not to be repeated - a responce to fear and terror and an attempt to gain footting not wholy different from his attribution of noble traits to me or to now that there is a conect finally shower that affection. It is late and I am not doing my heart's ache justice.

"We need a forum where educational issues for survivors are specifically discussed."

That certainly speaks to me- but more for how survivor issues affect education- both statements are very important. There is somewhat of a distinction between the two areas.

I think about the creation of this forum and i see much potential in it, and i'm sure that educational issues will be understood much better with this forum- it does seem to be a bit of a blackhole.

Good topic-- It has been astounding what I used to take to so well (school) has once again become a mystery--

Another would be work which I am sure is somewhere amoung the many posts.

Ralph

I had many problems in school. I was supposed to be "gifted" but only did well if my teacher was good at reaching me, encouraging me, and building me up. Otherwise I was one of the worst kids in the class. I was withdrawn for most of elementary and junior high school, before discovering illegal drugs and life in the streets with my street gang friends. My dad was a loud and often angry type-A business executive who was really good at making me feel small. He was also fond of using his fists until I got to be too big for him to intimidate. My mother was an enabler who put-up with my dad's excesses. She also was heavily involved to the point of addiction in a fringe religion. For most of the time from high school through my late 20s I had little to do with my parents, for most of the time I lived well apart from them.

My 2nd attempt at college came during my 1st attempt at recovery, and I did much better. I was on the Dean's List and for a time maintained a high GPA. But the breakup of my first marriage combined with the 1990 recession in Cleveland, OH and my becoming heavily addicted to cocaine again, (after 3 years clean), led to my dropping-out of college and my 7 years of living in hell before my 2nd attempt at recovery began. I was a good student when my life was going good. But when faced with the breakup of my marriage and the economic loss of the recession I lacked good coping skills and my fragile self-esteem was quickly shattered. I did not have enough recovery skills or enough in the way of recovery support to fall back on when things got tough.

I was misdiagnosed with ADD and medicated without the desired effect. All sorts of prognosis were made about me but none of them were correct. The real problem was my victimization combined with what had happened when I tried twice to disclose my abuse at the ages of 15 and 16 & 1/2. The other problem was that my parent's religious involvement was with a faith-healing church and we never saw any doctors or trusted the medical community. I was basically left on my own and fell through the cracks that existed then with the system.

So another forum designed for educational issues faced by CSA survivors would seem to be desirable. And as Ralph suggested, another one for the employment issues faced by survivors might also be in order. Before my 2nd attempt at recovery I had a heck of a time keeping a job, and I know that I am not alone there either. An employment forum might be helpful from a networking standpoint too.

Good idea Allen, and Ralph too.

Mark

Allen,
You have my vote. Thanks for posting the query. I've been dealing with learning difficulties since I was molested. I would like to have a point of communication to discuss if/how our sexual victimization effected our learning disorders. I also think we can share information on how to access services or deal with hesitant regristrars and professors. Learning challenges have affected me from kindergarten through graduate school, and even today. Guys, thanks for your response. Besides, I think that others who access MS in the future will benefit from our discussion of this topic.

Peace,
Shadow+Walker

I would welcome a forum of this kind and would like it to be open to everyone.

SB

what a great idea, and now that soapy has suggested it be open to the whole community it even makes more sense!

Guys,

I can relate to this post. How can you learn when you are rarely there. (disasociation) So I wasn't the only with problems in school.

Mike