SMP
thank you for your words
This is the hard thing for me to do,Give 100%. I know that it is with in me to do this but I have not got it done. At times I feel like I am opperating on 50%.It is no fun to just get by.

Waume Just remember to let the wife have control as to how far it goes. Never push her for intercrouse or she may not what to begin the cuddle session.

Cement It just shows you how valuable this web site is, two brothers can be 1000,s miles apart but going through the same things in thier lifes and being able to connect via MaleSurvivors. Thanks for being there for me
Love you guys Muldoon

Andrew,
my guidelines have become so engrained that i dont even think of them now, they just happen. all i did basically was substitute a healthier cycle for the addictive one. see masturbation is a lot like smoking, part of it is ritual and habit. when that ritual and habit conflicts with what we feel is healthy and normal, it makes us feel ashamed and guilty. the important thing is to remove the shame and guilt. for some that may only be done with total abstaining, but i was able to feel good about myself again by simply changing how i was using it.

you will find that another behavior swap people use is these sites. where i was online diving into porn, i now find things to go to that i feel good about.

the time and energy we put into addiction/compulsion is still there, and it is important to fill that space when you cut something out. you swap a good behavior for a bad one if you will. a lot of therapists use this, but normally they sneak it in on you. sometimes they can be more open about it, but that just depends on the patient i suppose.

Well said Jeff. Hey ... and if it works...

I was thinking about posting my horrible masturbation story from when I was eleven years old. The problem is I remember too many details and I don't want perps to be able to see what my neighbor said and the way he manipulated me, even though I think they all must use the same tricks anyway. So what I decided to do was to join, and post my survivor story in the secure section. I think perps can still get to it if they want, But not without leaving an electronic trail connecting them to this web site, in case they try to copycat what my neighbor did.

I was thinking this way I can talk about it and not worry about spreading his sick methods.

Les_Angry