I was born in Jan 1954. I lived 9 1/2 years in the city, then we moved to the country. where I lived for 10 1/2 years.
My 1st day at school some big kid hit me so hard on the shoulder I fell down and cryed. The other guys called me a sissy. Beat me daily till one day I went to the bathroom during class and this guy talked me and then when he finished his business he raped. Said if I ever told anyone he'd kill me. The whole experience is still in my memory. I hurt that nite as well as bled from my rear. When I started 5th grade he got me again. I said why are doing this. He said cause I was weak and people will do this forever to me. I changed schools in the 7th grade. The guys were the same about the phyiscal abuse, but I had stopped crying.
My family was very disfunctional. My Mom ran the family cause Daddy was learning Computers. My Brother was handicapped and got all the attention. I had a sister who got straight As so My other sister and I just got left over love.
At school, some one who new me from old school showed at a carnival our school was having. He tryed to rape me, but surprize I kicked in the balls. and Got away. So he told some of the guys I was queer. So now I had to deal with Emotioanl Abuse as well. One Day my freshman year I told A girl I had a crush on what happened in 4th and 5th grade. She apparently thought it funny and told some of the B-ball guys about me. On the way back from lunch 5 of them Jumped me and pulled me into the Junior High Bldg Bathroom and pulled my pants down and 4 of them raped me made perform oral sex and rubbed my body including kissing me and giving me an erection, to which one said "Look A Queer gets a hard on!" This seemed to excite them and they went bezerk. This ritual was kept up till the end of my Sophmore year. A few things stand out. Once at a church picnic the guys showed up. I went to hide but they found me. Drug me to the Lake and drug me into the water an did their sick ritual. Then When they let me go, I returned to the church group soaking wet and crying. I told the Teacher, who was with us, I fell in. and was afraid, my Mom would spank me for falling in the lake, in myclothes. My Mom said getting wet in your clothes was blasfamous. The guys were laughing. They told everyone I was queer and that's why I jumped into the lake only a queer would get wet in his clothes. Also they came by the house and said we were all going to the lake. They took me there and did it all again. I spent many months crying hating school I would vomit on the 1st day of school every year. I told what was going on, and was told I was a liar, and those boys were on the B-Ball team and came from good families. So I was alone. No friends, no one who would listen. I was gonna kill myself but my brother told my Mom. And she stopped me.Then they drug me off to a child phycologist He was in his 40s and I didn't trust him. He told my Dad If I wouldn't talk he couldn't help me. He was also telling my parents what I was saying. one good thing I got to watch the WIZARD OF OZ every year from then on.
After graduation I went to College and for the 1st time I made friends, one I still see to this day. I told her what happened to me, she even knew I was Gay. I would get so angry if anyone said I was Gay. I lost a lot of Jobs, because of Overbearing fellow male employees. My friends helped and for the 1st time They encouraged me to go on.
After I moved back to town My apartment might as well had a revolving door. This I always loved. No one left me alone. I had met a former Vietnam vet and he got me into the secret life of the gay world. Helped get involved in making Porn films, and Nude Modeling. I began working Parties Later I found out he was pimping me. This went on for a long while.
A good thing came out of this to. The Director of the films taught how to get over my fear of water and getting wet in clothes. I love to get wet in clothes and learn to swim.
I met a guy in art class, who because he 2 was a victim. We were very close as 2 other of his friends. I quit the Films and Parties.Then one day one of my friends killed himself in my apartment. By the beginning of 1976 I was alone. I began to lose my hair and gaining weight. I tryed to go back into porn films but Those days were over for me. I went into a shell and didn't come out tell a few ago.
That's how it all came about.
Thanks for reading.
Our years are as the falling leaves-we live we love we dream, and then we go. But somehow we keep hoping don't we that our dreams come true on that Brighter Day.
.........Opening to old radio serial BRUGHT DAY (1948-1956)