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#283437 - 04/12/09 10:41 PM Re: Give it to me straight [Re: Jim1961]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
Quote:
Too bad neither of us drink anymore, I could see us tossing down a few beers and going at it on this topic
um......i am in recovery from recovery, and actually gave up giving up alcohol last year [after 23 years] shocked

also,

Quote:
("could" can be more than one thing!)


lol, that's exactly what i read as well. 'could' being an unanticipated result, but 'can' being a definitive destination. it 'felt' as if there was an implication of the latter. thanks for the clarification. grin

now about going to the WoR......, maybe we should go in separate cars in case you decide to kick my ass out [or i yours] along the way. i wouldn't blame you......doesn't seem as if you'd blame me either.

i think i'd better just shut my trap from now on and just keep my thoughts to myself.......but don't hold your breathe on that one!

whistle

ronzo

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#283452 - 04/12/09 11:33 PM Re: Give it to me straight [Re: Bewlayb1]
sojourn111 Offline


Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 86
Loc: midwest
Personally despite the fact that your brothers here love you, nobody should give an answer. The questions stems from what sounds to be confusion in your heart and mind over the means of fulfilling a relational need.

Hang with me here for a minute...

We need healthy love from a mother and a father. They nourish the many facets of our heart, soul and mind. As children we will swing back and forth from one to the other as we have need and grow much like trees need water and sunshine.

Orientation can be very different than a hearts unmet need or a bodies sexual apetites. There are many straight men in hetero relationships that are also bisexual due to sexual fulfillment. Conversely there men that are very much in their heart bent towards a homosexual relationship yet bisexuality would feed the physical appetite but not fulfill their emotional appetite. And that is the challenge, sexual fulfilment, emotional fulfilment, core human existence.
Yes, work with a T and explore those. Your confusion sounds like you may benefit from clarifying these areas and further understanding what impact CSA had on you. Uncover your heart and the core of the real you. You will find the answer there.



Edited by sojourn111 (04/12/09 11:35 PM)

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#283491 - 04/13/09 10:01 AM Re: Give it to me straight [Re: sojourn111]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my brothers/friends.

It's that Irishmoose guy again, you know the one who had transplanted himself from Germany to try and find little Peter and his way in what is ever left of our lives. Well I am just as confused as ever in just who I/we are. I have had 6 therapy sessions here in the USA. I feel like I've made some progress, at least in moving out from my lost childhood phase. I have given up a lot in my quest in finding my true self, in dealing with CSA. Like the rest of us lots of pain, anger, lonliness lack of proper emotions , etc.

Any one whom has read my post little Pete & big Pete's 69 year journey will have some sort of an idea just where I'm coming from.

Right at this moment I'm in turmoil, I try and not put a label on myself. All of my sexual pleasures from about the age of 5 through this very day and this very post have come from males. No female (2) has ever given me the sexual enjoyment, pleasures nor emotional experience as from those males.

I never had been sexually attracted to either girls/females nor men. I did and (lately) have experienced sexual pleasures from men like no other. It isn't that when I see a male hey! I just gotta have him. And certainaly in my life has it ever been hey I just gotta have that female!

I do seek the sexual pleasures from a male, I've had one with a male relative lately, as he was seeking the same from me. We both were raised under the same circumstances, emotionally, physically mentally & sexualy abused as boys. He is married as I am seperated, we raised families, we were both married to females that for atleast the last ten years have been sexless. We both have talked about my recovery and my problems. We both enjoy our sex together, no shame, no fear and no shyness.

So where does this put me? Just what label (if any) do I fit under?

I've tried the label straight. Sure doesn't fit as I have NO sexual attractions toward females.

I've tried the label Bi-sexual, well I'm not physically nor emotionally attracted to either side.

I've tried Gay, well again (in my head) I'm not sexually nor physically attracted to them.

But I sure do have sexual desires, pleasures toward males (so far to a relative) cousin.

I haven't talked to my new T just yet, I do not know if she had seen a "hidden" message in my post Little Pete & Big Pete's 69 year journey. I have and so have others. Is there such a thing as All F....d up sexually and emotionally toward any sex label?

To sum it up, I sure do look forward to enjoying my sexual and emotonal feelings when I'm with my (male) cousin.

So Give it to me straight.

Heal well my brothers/friends.

Pete (Irishmoose)

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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