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#28146 - 04/29/02 05:20 PM First Post here
chuckie Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/29/02
Posts: 3
Loc: north Alabama
Hello,
I've never spoken publiclly about any of this, so I really don't know where to start.
First I guess, a little about ME: I'm 38(39 in May), Married w/ 1 child (16y/o daughter)
I think I may be losing my mind, keeping this stuf inside!! I was abused on the night of my sixteenth b-day and have "exorsized my right to remain" silent all these years. I, honest-to-god don't know where to turn.


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#28147 - 04/29/02 05:50 PM Re: First Post here
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
Chuckie,

This can be a great first step. "Talking" here. I would also recommend the chatroom. we have a good time there, a good combination of just fun and serious conversations. whatever is needed by the guys there at the time.

Being silent can continue the pain. congratualtions on beginning the healing process.

Ken

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

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#28148 - 04/29/02 05:51 PM Re: First Post here
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Chuckie
this is as good a start as anywhere, you're not alone,
Stay with us.
Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#28149 - 04/29/02 06:39 PM Re: First Post here
chuckie Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/29/02
Posts: 3
Loc: north Alabama
Hi,
After viewing some of the posts here, I feel a little guilty about posting my "little" troubles here. But I guess were all alone in this boat together.
Mine was a one-time thing with an Aunt.But at sixteen, things change dramaticlly when you, all-of-a-sudden have something drastic to hide.
I was away at military school and the day before my b-day was "Family Day"at school, so family members were invited to come down and see the inner-workings of the blah, blah....
so my mom and aunt came down and got room for us at a local motel( the name of which is forever etched in my mind, the Golden Cherry of all fucking things) I thought this was great because I got to leave school grounds.
Anyway, we had a great seafood dinner and went to the room and sat around talking things over, about school and my grades and things but before long mom gets tired and heads for one of the beds. My aunt follows soon after. So after a little TV I hit the other bed and I'm almost asleep when my aunt wakes me up to chat and asks me about girlfreinds and things.
Soon she's relating all sorts of details of her early sexual experiences to me, a horny 15/16year old boy who finds her fascinating (always had, we were very close). Well, under the covers, I'm pitching a tent, and she asks about it and if she can help the situation. She starts stroking and squeezing and slides into bed with me.
I remember now being grateful, excited, proud, ashamed and afterwards I only felt hurt and alone.Our relationship was never the same. Not only was it not the same, it was OVER. Not only was I hurt and confused, but I was hurt and confused with out the ONE person I could could confide in, because I was hurt and confused BY the ONE person I could confide in,HER!!!
More Later
Chuck :rolleyes:


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#28150 - 04/29/02 07:41 PM Re: First Post here
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Chuckie
There's no league tables, and nobody keeps score, so dont feel bad about that.
What happened was wrong, and here's as good a place as any to start your healing.
Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#28151 - 04/29/02 09:41 PM Re: First Post here
getteddie Offline
Member

Registered: 07/19/01
Posts: 226
Loc: Cub Hill, Md
After time passes by ...one time or 100's of times...it all turns into one big nightmare! Talking about it does help and the chat is cool because you can get a lot out...but please get some pro help and some for your wife..she has to put up with you!!!!

Eddie


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#28152 - 04/30/02 11:13 AM Re: First Post here
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
Chuckie

What the others havee said is true. No keeping score here. Your trust was violated and your life forever changed. doesn't sound like a small problem to me. Glad you found us as we move along the road of healing together.

Ken

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

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#28153 - 04/30/02 10:59 PM Re: First Post here
SoCalJohn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California
Chuckie,

dude, the worst thing to happen to you is the worst thing to happen to you, period. No comparisons allowed, ok? so quit giving yourself a hard time.

Good place here, good people here,,,

I am glad your here,

John

_________________________
I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

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#28154 - 05/01/02 12:33 PM Re: First Post here
Mark R Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/14/02
Posts: 29
Loc: Palm Springs, CA
You've done a wonderful thing...you actually told someone the entire episode. Congrats!! The next step might be looking for some counseling...read the info about finding counseling...beware the pitfalls...and keep moving forward. Good luck.


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