Because they're sick bastards who deserve to rot in hell? I'm laughing and serious all at the same time. I still have a bit of letting go to do so let me hush on this one.

Unfortunately one of the other forums I was on before this one asked a similarly "Why is the sky blue" question and I'll give the same answer I gave there - I don't care why, it's happened.

Over-intellectualising this crime seemed to be a nice way to put off having to start healing in the the case of that other forum, forget about WHY, accept what happened and continue healing!

I had been avoiding this thread for a while because the only response I could have come up with is exactly what you post CBG - thanks for saying it out loud when I couldn't bring myself to do the same.

While I agree that one has to accept what happened in order to heal, I don't know why it would be a waste to have understanding of the context of the problem. To me this isn't at all like the question "why is the sky blue," it's more the question, "why am I blue?". Since my blueness came about through an interaction with someone else, knowing why he instigated it helps me understand the whole story.

I also wonder how it's possible to heal without really knowing what one is healing from. I don't think my abuse was just getting a blowjob, it was getting the blowjob from a specific person (my dad) at a specific time and place. I have a hard time getting away from it without understanding the whole thing.

For me, I also have a strong desire to see this not happen to others, and wondering why helps me think about how the system works. For me it's part of the process of healing and healing in a broad sense of healing the group, too.

Danny