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#28103 - 10/27/03 08:09 AM Friends
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I really need to see who my friends are. Please respond if you are my friend. Boundries have been broken now and in the past. I need to see who my friends really are.

Respond if you read my posts and you want to get to know me better. I am actually healing. Things are turning around for the better. I was talking with someone this morning and now I feel better. It is funny how we have answers to our questions.

So I need to see those here who are my friends or want to be.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#28104 - 10/27/03 08:58 AM Re: Friends
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Always, Michael!

I am always here for you, and I am your friend. You've helped save my life, so if that's not a friend, I don't know what is!

And, by the way, I hope I have paid that back in some way.

Peace and love, my friend,

Scot \:D

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#28105 - 10/27/03 12:18 PM Re: Friends
Joey G. Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/22/03
Posts: 28
Loc: FL
Hi. I'm new here, but I will try to be a friend to you and to everyone here. \:\)


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#28106 - 10/27/03 09:07 PM Re: Friends
martin Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/08/03
Posts: 229
Loc: The Good Earth
Michael Joseph,

I'd like to be considered a friend, have always enjoyed your contributions and you were one of the first people to welcome me to this site at a time when I was really down.

I appreciate that and hope you do consider me a friend.

Take good care,

Aaron

_________________________
Its times like these we learn to live again,
Its times like these we give & give again,
Its times like these we learn to love again,
Its times like these time & time again.
-The Foo Fighters

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#28107 - 10/27/03 11:55 PM Re: Friends
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Michael, I have no idea whether you consider me a friend or not. We really haven't had much contact. But I would like to share with you how much your poetry has helped me. Your imagery and slashingly honest prose have brought home to me, time and time again, that I am not an island unto myself when it comes to suffering. Thank you. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

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#28108 - 10/28/03 12:06 AM Re: Friends
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Michael, remember the most important person you need as a friend is--yourself. Take good care of yourself. Eat right and exercise. Have good times with your wife. Treat yourself more often to the things you as a couple love to do. Don't work too much. Be your best friend--all others can be a good friend, but no one can be your friend like yourself can.

Starting tomorrow--I am going to do some of the things I just wrote to you! It is easy to write about it, but not so easy to do.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#28109 - 10/28/03 10:59 AM Re: Friends
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Michael,

Listen to what Bob is telling you. And by now, it is tomorrow relative to the post Bob made.

It is hard to do all these things, so just pick one and do it. Do it for yourself, as a friend to yourself, and let yourself enjoy the luxury of having such a good friend.

In friendship,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#28110 - 10/28/03 05:30 PM Re: Friends
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Hi Michael ;\)

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#28111 - 10/29/03 06:26 AM Re: Friends
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I do not at all know you well, but that does not mean I do not wish to. And even though I sometime am not here for days or even a week, when I do return, I will read and respond to most every post, yours and others. I am not sure what occured, and I am sorry that you have suffered a betrayal. I have dealt with something similar recently, was actually a break of privacy, and it can be very stressful and difficult. I wish you well, and continued success in healing.

leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#28112 - 10/29/03 08:59 PM Re: Friends
FlyWM Offline
Member

Registered: 09/14/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Michigan
I may not know you well, but perhaps in the future we can get to know eachother. Betrayal is a bitter pill to swallow, and is terrible, but you need to trust people, but perhaps need to be selective of who you trust at times.

Scott

_________________________
Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible in not a declaration, it's a dare.

--Adidas

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#28113 - 10/30/03 06:20 AM Re: Friends
tomjb Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/04/01
Posts: 7
Loc: NY USA
Hello Michael

Not sure if you remember me. We met at the Conference last year in Livingston Manor, NY.

I am sincerely sorry that you had to endure a broken trust. For the longest time, as in my case I din't know what 'my' boundaries were, OR that i was even had any, in as much as I was never really allowed to have them before. To know and respect your own to me is an accomplishment I applaud you for. I am just sorry someone AGAIN saw fit to dishonor them.

I haven't come or written here much of late, but I would be very honored to be included as one of your friends.

It is a natural reaction, especially in a site like this, that people might feel somehwat pressured to write and tell you that they are your friend. MOST I would think have replied out of what they feel in their heart.

I wonder of those that might not have read your request, who consider themselves your friend and missed the opportunity to state so. Might YOU assume erroneously negativly about them?

To me, within a more natural progression, the bonds of a friendship are not necessarily broken or established merely based on a post. Ands, I am sure you know that. Within the framework of any given frienship, there are ALWAYS going to be ups and downs, good times and bads times.. The 'I love you and I hate you times' those are the bonding experiences that make friendships most durable. I know you were not looking for a distitation on friendships.. but i was taken by the request, and wondered had I missed it would i then be considered not to be you friend. I would most certainly hope not.

A true friendship endures! I hope there are those friends in your life who feel as much for you as you do for them. I know well how this internet world can be cruel. I know that first hand. Deep down, you know who your friends are without them having to say so...

I wish you only the best, and although I do not know you that well, I would hope that our friendship in as much as it isn't as deep as those special one's you deeply cherish, exists in you as it does in me...

Tom


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#28114 - 11/01/03 05:54 PM Re: Friends
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
tom i am crying, because I wonder if my friend is a friend I am tired of being hurt

I wonder if he knows who he is

if he knows he has hurt me

and that I do love him as a friend

and that this is tearing me apart

I let him in my life, trusted him

I hope I know him well enough to trust

my gut feeling, and that he will still be

my friend when I tell him what my boundries are

one last time. If not I will have to turn and

walk away like I did with my last friend who

verbally and emotionally abused me after we

established what I thought was a great friendship


If others read this and have talked with me,

feel free to respond or PM me. This is the

worst thing that could happen to a survivor.


I thought he was my friend, now I will find out in the next two weeks how things will turn out.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#28115 - 11/02/03 04:54 AM Re: Friends
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
((((hugs)))) if okay.

Above all else, right now, please place your trust in YOURSELF, above anyone else. I know that you fear that your emotions will place you in bad position, position to be betrayed again. But I do believe that you are stronger then you feel. You have a good brain, and you can rationally know what you need, and what you do not. Yes, sometime emotions take over for rational thought. But I think that you are aware enough right now to keep yourself safe. Try to feel strong, good and believe in yourself. You are a good, smart man.

leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#28116 - 11/02/03 07:44 PM Re: Friends
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
MJ:
I think you know that I am a friend, albeit an old one. I feel your pain. Please try and be kind to yourself and be your own best friend. Easy to say and hard to do.

You can PM me any time you want. I really mean that Michael. Can I call you Mike. When I was called Michael I knew I was in trouble or about to be in trouble. My perps used that too "Michael"

((((((((((((((((((((((((MIKE)))))))))))))))))))))

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#28117 - 11/13/03 10:24 PM Re: Friends
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I need to remember what it is I really want.

I am upset someone I thought was a great friend is not around. I am glad I did what I had to.
Friends do not put each other in that kind of position.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#28118 - 11/14/03 11:43 PM Re: Friends
Pollyanna Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 211
Loc: Missouri
You sound like a really sensitive person that anyone would be lucky to have as a friend.

\:D

Lynn

_________________________
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

– Anne Lamott

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#28119 - 11/15/03 01:10 AM Re: Friends
gryffindor Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/08/03
Posts: 131
Loc: St. Charles, Illinois
michael Joseph,

I agree with Lynn. You are a good person, and you are a very kind person. In your posts you always offer your friendship to those in need. I also agree with Mikey, you need to be your own best friend. Not so easy. I'm working on that one myself.

Mary

_________________________
"Where there's a will, there's a way." American Folk Saying

"Had I not fallen, I could not have arisen; had I not sat in darkness, I would not have recognized the light." Midrash Tehillim Ch. 22

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#28120 - 11/15/03 10:31 AM Re: Friends
MEC Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/03
Posts: 62
Loc: NJ
Hi Michael,
Been away from Board for a while. I hope you'll not be pissed at me as I'm not much for talking on phone.

Still uncomfortable about any relationships.

Hope you're doing well,
Michael in NJ

_________________________
Michael

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#28121 - 11/15/03 10:36 PM Re: Friends
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
that is ok Mike,

it will save on my phone bill.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#28122 - 11/16/03 06:16 PM Re: Friends
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
MIke: you ok now? :p \:D ;\)
(((((((((((((((((MIKE))))))))))))))))))))))))))

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#28123 - 11/16/03 07:48 PM Re: Friends
bowman Offline
Member

Registered: 04/19/03
Posts: 72
Hey Michael,
I hope you are doing okay. I don't know very many people here very well, but I will always be respectful to you, and supportive to the best of my ability.
Take care.


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#28124 - 11/18/03 12:57 AM Re: Friends
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I saw my friend today, It has been weeks. He sent me an email after I sent him the friend or foe poem. Looks like he is still my friend.

I am glad. I am looking forward to making more friends as I get older. Thanks everyone.

Michael Joseph

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

Top
#28125 - 11/18/03 05:19 PM Re: Friends
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
CLICHE ALERT !!

"Strangers are just friends you haven't met"

Dave

\:D

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#28126 - 11/18/03 10:08 PM Re: Friends
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
you are a friend dave

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

Top
#28127 - 11/19/03 07:21 PM Re: Friends
BT Offline


Registered: 06/25/03
Posts: 388
Loc: Chicago IL
Been away from here for a while and jsut saw your post. sorry I am late, but glad it is working out.

friends
Brent

_________________________
"Everyone is entitled to their opinions and it is not my job to change their mind." Dali Lama

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#28128 - 11/20/03 03:10 PM Re: Friends
arghilles Offline
Member

Registered: 07/26/02
Posts: 45
Loc: Stockholm, Sweden
Hello Michael!

I don't live anywhere nearby you as you know.
However I have had some very good conversations with you and I will never forget them.
You have helped me.

I think about you.
I consider myself to be your friend, however it is your choice to accept me or not.

Erik

_________________________
Erik

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#28129 - 11/23/03 08:59 PM Re: Friends
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Hi Micheal,

I tried to PM you today to see how you are doing. Your mailbox is full.

I hope things are going good for you and your wife (oh heck, the animals too).

Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#28130 - 11/24/03 05:33 PM Re: Friends
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Michael
\:D ;\) \:D ;\) \:D ;\) \:D ;\)

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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