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#28113 - 10/30/03 06:20 AM Re: Friends
tomjb Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/04/01
Posts: 7
Loc: NY USA
Hello Michael

Not sure if you remember me. We met at the Conference last year in Livingston Manor, NY.

I am sincerely sorry that you had to endure a broken trust. For the longest time, as in my case I din't know what 'my' boundaries were, OR that i was even had any, in as much as I was never really allowed to have them before. To know and respect your own to me is an accomplishment I applaud you for. I am just sorry someone AGAIN saw fit to dishonor them.

I haven't come or written here much of late, but I would be very honored to be included as one of your friends.

It is a natural reaction, especially in a site like this, that people might feel somehwat pressured to write and tell you that they are your friend. MOST I would think have replied out of what they feel in their heart.

I wonder of those that might not have read your request, who consider themselves your friend and missed the opportunity to state so. Might YOU assume erroneously negativly about them?

To me, within a more natural progression, the bonds of a friendship are not necessarily broken or established merely based on a post. Ands, I am sure you know that. Within the framework of any given frienship, there are ALWAYS going to be ups and downs, good times and bads times.. The 'I love you and I hate you times' those are the bonding experiences that make friendships most durable. I know you were not looking for a distitation on friendships.. but i was taken by the request, and wondered had I missed it would i then be considered not to be you friend. I would most certainly hope not.

A true friendship endures! I hope there are those friends in your life who feel as much for you as you do for them. I know well how this internet world can be cruel. I know that first hand. Deep down, you know who your friends are without them having to say so...

I wish you only the best, and although I do not know you that well, I would hope that our friendship in as much as it isn't as deep as those special one's you deeply cherish, exists in you as it does in me...

Tom


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#28114 - 11/01/03 05:54 PM Re: Friends
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
tom i am crying, because I wonder if my friend is a friend I am tired of being hurt

I wonder if he knows who he is

if he knows he has hurt me

and that I do love him as a friend

and that this is tearing me apart

I let him in my life, trusted him

I hope I know him well enough to trust

my gut feeling, and that he will still be

my friend when I tell him what my boundries are

one last time. If not I will have to turn and

walk away like I did with my last friend who

verbally and emotionally abused me after we

established what I thought was a great friendship


If others read this and have talked with me,

feel free to respond or PM me. This is the

worst thing that could happen to a survivor.


I thought he was my friend, now I will find out in the next two weeks how things will turn out.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#28115 - 11/02/03 04:54 AM Re: Friends
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
((((hugs)))) if okay.

Above all else, right now, please place your trust in YOURSELF, above anyone else. I know that you fear that your emotions will place you in bad position, position to be betrayed again. But I do believe that you are stronger then you feel. You have a good brain, and you can rationally know what you need, and what you do not. Yes, sometime emotions take over for rational thought. But I think that you are aware enough right now to keep yourself safe. Try to feel strong, good and believe in yourself. You are a good, smart man.

leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#28116 - 11/02/03 07:44 PM Re: Friends
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
MJ:
I think you know that I am a friend, albeit an old one. I feel your pain. Please try and be kind to yourself and be your own best friend. Easy to say and hard to do.

You can PM me any time you want. I really mean that Michael. Can I call you Mike. When I was called Michael I knew I was in trouble or about to be in trouble. My perps used that too "Michael"

((((((((((((((((((((((((MIKE)))))))))))))))))))))

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#28117 - 11/13/03 10:24 PM Re: Friends
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I need to remember what it is I really want.

I am upset someone I thought was a great friend is not around. I am glad I did what I had to.
Friends do not put each other in that kind of position.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#28118 - 11/14/03 11:43 PM Re: Friends
Pollyanna Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 211
Loc: Missouri
You sound like a really sensitive person that anyone would be lucky to have as a friend.

\:D

Lynn

_________________________
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

Anne Lamott

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#28119 - 11/15/03 01:10 AM Re: Friends
gryffindor Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/08/03
Posts: 131
Loc: St. Charles, Illinois
michael Joseph,

I agree with Lynn. You are a good person, and you are a very kind person. In your posts you always offer your friendship to those in need. I also agree with Mikey, you need to be your own best friend. Not so easy. I'm working on that one myself.

Mary

_________________________
"Where there's a will, there's a way." American Folk Saying

"Had I not fallen, I could not have arisen; had I not sat in darkness, I would not have recognized the light." Midrash Tehillim Ch. 22

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#28120 - 11/15/03 10:31 AM Re: Friends
MEC Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/03
Posts: 62
Loc: NJ
Hi Michael,
Been away from Board for a while. I hope you'll not be pissed at me as I'm not much for talking on phone.

Still uncomfortable about any relationships.

Hope you're doing well,
Michael in NJ

_________________________
Michael

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#28121 - 11/15/03 10:36 PM Re: Friends
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
that is ok Mike,

it will save on my phone bill.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#28122 - 11/16/03 06:16 PM Re: Friends
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
MIke: you ok now? :p \:D ;\)
(((((((((((((((((MIKE))))))))))))))))))))))))))

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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