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#274433 - 02/08/09 12:15 PM Re: Our Secret Doors [Re: Survivinguy]
christianfather Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
Originally Posted By: Survivinguy
Thanks EGL

Being one of the newer guys - it's overwhelming to think of how much information is on this site that I have yet to explore -



I have to agree. The vast resources this site has is incredible. I have gained more knowledge about myself and the fact that I am not a freak has benefited me more in the past few months than I have gotten in years with my T.


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#274439 - 02/08/09 12:31 PM Re: Our Secret Doors [Re: Geeders]
Survivinguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 310
Loc: Colorado
Originally Posted By: Geeders
I didn't know that...


I didn't know that reading a post from a complete stranger would make me cry today.

Thanks Geeders - whoever you are.

_________________________
Survivinguy

============================================
I have to survive and I hope to thrive.

Alumni Dahlonega WoR May 2010
Alumni Sequoia WoR March 2012

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#274699 - 02/10/09 10:21 AM Re: Our Secret Doors [Re: Survivinguy]
mama Offline


Registered: 12/06/08
Posts: 8
hi

The post you brought up. When my son got abused at school his class was lurning about "you rights" your body is your own and things like that. he told what was happening to him and he got rideculed by even the headmaster.

So doors are things grownups says are their and you can go through but those are just lies they tell to make them selfs feel better


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#274747 - 02/10/09 09:39 PM Re: Our Secret Doors [Re: Survivinguy]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
You're welcome. Left a PM for you.

Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#274748 - 02/10/09 10:01 PM Re: Our Secret Doors [Re: mama]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Evening mama:

Are you referring to my specific post or the thread (idea)? If you have found something unsavoury or objectionable in my post I would invite you to send me a PM about it so we can discuss it.

If, on the other hand you found the thread objectionable, I believe that it was intended as a venting tool that enabled the participants to focus on the many facets of their abuse that impacted them greatly. I certainly found it a useful experience that enabled me to be able to step back for a moment, take a few deep breaths, and try to assess what has actually happened in my life. Taking those moments to reflect helped me define future goals, as well as address old wounds.

Giving oneself permission to step back to reflect, and assess, can provide a focus that often is missing in our lives as we try to process all the pain that comes with abuse. I believe the thread was appropriate, and useful.

If I understand you correctly you are saying that you didn't know that the school system, and the headmaster, was just playing with words, and that they really didn't mean what they said about having rights to control our bodies. You didn't know that they lied just to feel better about themselves, and attempt to meet current standards for ensuring that abuse is reported to the proper authorities, and dealt with appropriately. You didn't know that an entire school system, and the school administration could fail your son and you so badly. As a survivor, and a parent I can feel your pain. Please do not, however lose faith. The systems that educate our children around the world are slowly changing to meet the needs of all children. It may not be fast enough for you right now, but it is changing. Having spent 16 years working in Child Welfare, I have seen these changes happen. Systems change faster than people though, especially when it involves people believeing that boys cannot be abused. Much work needs to be done.

Take Care mama, and keep caring!
Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#274949 - 02/12/09 01:54 PM Re: Our Secret Doors [Re: Geeders]
dusty42 Offline


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Kentucky
Dusty42 has deleted this message. I no longer feel safe here.



Edited by dusty42 (03/18/09 02:00 PM)
Edit Reason: I no longer feel safe here
_________________________
Pinky: "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?"
The Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world."

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#275202 - 02/14/09 04:57 AM Re: Our Secret Doors [Re: dusty42]
b869 Offline


Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 767
Loc: Philippines
I didn't know I can't ignore my abuse
I didn't know that there are things worse then death
I didn't know going out of my hiding place would make things better
I didn't know telling someone what happens helps w/ the healing
I didn't know people care
I didn't know this site could really help me
I didn't know I didn't deserve it
I didn't know how much it affected me
I didn't know I would regret the things I have done to forget

_________________________

When thing get complicated go back to simplicity

Harvey Fierstein
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.

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#275320 - 02/15/09 01:21 AM Re: Our Secret Doors [Re: b869]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
I didn't know I can't ignore my abuse: Things will continue to get worse if you ignore your abuse.

I didn't know that there are things worse then death: See the first sentence and answer.

I didn't know going out of my hiding place would make things better: Finding and working with other survivors helps us feel less alone.

I didn't know telling someone what happens helps w/ the healing: When you are comfortable talking about it, you are almost there.

I didn't know people care: We do care about you and everyone here too.

I didn't know this site could really help me: Yes, this site is an extraordinary tool that can help you and many other survivors too.

I didn't know I didn't deserve it: You didn't deserve it, and it wasn't your fault. You deserve a life unhindered by your past.

I didn't know how much it affected me: You are not alone. The effects continue to affect your personal growth for life if unresolved.

I didn't know I would regret the things I have done to forget: But don't let it bother you, because you are here now, and you are worth it.

Keep coming back, my man. Alone we can't, together we can.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#281023 - 03/27/09 11:04 AM Re: Our Secret Doors [Re: Trucker51]
Survivinguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 310
Loc: Colorado
I didn't know how incredibly isolating it would be:
- Isolating because of the shame so you don't tell anyone.
- Isolating because non-survivors don't understand.
- Isolating because the emotions are so overwhelming,
overpowering that you just want to crawl into a hole and
even avoid fellow survivors or the few people that do know.
- Isolating because you feel worthless and used and useless.
- Isolating because you feel stupid for feeling this way about
something that happened decades ago.
- Isolating because you want to delete this post because it
feels either stupid or too vulnerable.


_________________________
Survivinguy

============================================
I have to survive and I hope to thrive.

Alumni Dahlonega WoR May 2010
Alumni Sequoia WoR March 2012

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#281028 - 03/27/09 11:44 AM Re: Our Secret Doors [Re: Survivinguy]
overcomer4life Offline


Registered: 02/25/09
Posts: 198
*tears*


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