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#280559 - 03/24/09 06:20 AM shame...my downfall?
1love4christ Offline


Registered: 12/18/08
Posts: 46
Loc: ca, usa
as a victim of sexual abuse, i'm just filled with so much shame about my low self worth and also feel so much shame from the hate i've developed to think i'm not worthy of god's love...

i know the cross is for the sick but when will my constant shame and hate go away?

_________________________
nestor

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#280570 - 03/24/09 09:08 AM Re: shame...my downfall? [Re: 1love4christ]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Nestor,

I like the order in which you use these two qualitatives;
Shame
Hate


I found that the more often I talked about my sexual abuse history and to the more people I did so; as I repeatedly accepted that I needed to talk it out so as to understand myself better, that the shame began to dissipate on its own.

As my shame left me, I began to notice that the hate I had been carrying was greatly reduced also.

Today I no longer feel shame for the sex acts that I was made to commit and I don't hate the guys who forced themselves and their twisted views of sexuality on me either.

My time, my energy and my focus are directed to the living my best life, today.

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#280575 - 03/24/09 10:45 AM Re: shame...my downfall? [Re: 1love4christ]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
nestor,

i come from a land [long ago and far away] of self loathing and shame. strangely enough, those who supposedly had my best interests at heart banished me there. but they were filled with self-loathing and shame too, so they merely passed on the bias in their own narrow thinking.

i found myself trapped for so long in my attempt to use the limited tools given me as the means of salvation. those tools for me merely reinforced the shame and self-loathing. i had to escape that island of seclusion in order to find other tools that would lead me to freedom ultimately creating more healthy balance of all the facets of my life as a human person.

it was only once i began to risk seeking beyond the confines of early childhood grooming that i was able to dwell in the prospect of hope for freedom from shame and hate. it was only after learning to apply those new perspectives that the shame and hate dissolved and crises dissipated. in time, separate from the shaping influences of my past, i was free to introduce the full range of human emotions, and begin to make them part of my life's experience.

in shame and self-loathing i used to live my life facing the downfall of the crucifixion event, but after spending 3 long days in my own metaphorical tomb, condemned to hell, stuck with the effects of the past, i was given the grace to cast off the stone sealing me there. i was given new freedom and a new power and grace to rise above the impact of my former life. now the burden of the journey is much lighter.

hoping for all the best for you in your healing,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#280582 - 03/24/09 12:00 PM Re: shame...my downfall? [Re: Sans Logos]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Nestor,

That is the great thing about God and his love. Nobody deserves it but he loves us in spite of ourselves and our actions.

As you open up about your abused and it's effects on your life. You will find that the power of the shame that you feel for being sexual abused in your life lessening. Shame and self hatred are the legancy of the abuse inflicted on us by those who refused to accepted responsibility for their behaviors they did to us. You learn to come out of the prison of shame and self hatred we have been confined too. You will find that person that God has intended you to be coming forward. Cast off those chains of shame that have never belonged to you in the first place.

God's is LOVE.
But satan uses shame and self hatred to keep bound those God loves so that they cannot do God's will.
Remember we do not battle against flesh and blood.
Who is our true foe?


Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#280949 - 03/26/09 09:59 PM Re: shame...my downfall? [Re: 1love4christ]
veganchild Offline


Registered: 03/26/09
Posts: 8
Loc: ontario
i can relate nestor. i come from a religious family and often feel unworthy because of the terrible things men did to me as a child. sometimes i give up hope. just understand that the devine creator loves u with all his heart, and that shame and guilt are the tools of satan; trying to make u feel bad about urself. satan is responsible for all evil. god loves u nestor


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#280985 - 03/27/09 04:49 AM Re: shame...my downfall? [Re: veganchild]
1love4christ Offline


Registered: 12/18/08
Posts: 46
Loc: ca, usa
thanks a million you guys. its a loving feeling to know i'm being heard. i love the support and hope to remember times like this when i'm down so i know i'm not alone...

god bless, and its true, god loves me and gave us all that he could through jesus christ...what more could we ask for!

praise Jesus in god!

_________________________
nestor

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