Can I really change those attitudes,beliefs,and behaviors that have been so ingrained into me since birth? Sometimes I am not so sure that I can totally overcome this abuse............Because I will try until the day I die.
Those of us who were born into dysfonctional families where mental illness was prevalent don't get to fully repair the damage that was done to us.
Observe a Maple tree growing in an open field unhindered by obstacles and out in the open sun. It grows strong, straight and lush. Walk through the forest and pick out the Maple tree trying to grow in shade of other taller more mature trees. It is scawny, crooked and bears few branches with little foliage. You and I, Mike, and others like us are that Maple tree in the forest. We tried to grow while deprived of the necessary suhshine and crowded on all sides by the opressive insanity that reigned in our home.
If you were to go back into the forest and cut away all the trees surrounding that scawny Maple tree, let in the sunshine and give it room to expand and grow, over many years the top part of that Maple tree will grow strong , straight and lush but its base, that part that had already grown will always show the signs of its start in the forest.
So yeah, Mike, I'm comparing you (and me too) to a Maple tree - fine Canadian emblem if ever there was
To reverse the harm that we suffered is a life-long struggle and I don't think that we ever feel that we are where we want to be with our lives. However, by diligently clearing away the oppresive falsehoods, myths and prejudices that we grew up with, we do manage to turn around the great ravages of the dysfonctions that we grew up in.
Our fate is in our own hands my friend........