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#28072 - 03/13/05 06:46 AM I asked him to stop.
xenoman Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/11/05
Posts: 18
Loc: Montana
TRIGGER WARNING - LOTS OF GRAPHIC DETAIL


I have lived with enough pain long enough to know that the only way to get rid of it is to get it out and move on. This issue of SA was dealt with in my first stages of sobriety 3 1/2 years ago but not since. And, I have never felt like I could speak out about what happened that night. Tonight I am going to take a chance and try to get some of it out. Thanks for listening.

Me and a neighborhood friend were camping out one summer night. The night air was cool and we snuggled under some blankets. HC was older than me by about 4 years. I was 12 he was 16. We went to bed in our shorts. When I was almost asleep I could feel HC nudging closer. I thought he was just trying to get warm. Then I felt something hot against my legs. He asked me if I was asleep. I said nearly. Then he asked me if He could stick his dick between my legs. I said why?
This went on for a while and I kept drifting off to sleep. I remember waking up and he was hunching me between my legs with his dick in between and all of a sudden I woke up. I told him to stop I was trying to go to sleep. We started talking and horseplaying around. I told him I was getting tired. He shined a light on my crotch and said you have a boner. I cant remember what all transpired but he asked me to show it to him. I said if I do will you go to sleep? He said yes. But he said lets sleep naked and then we can cuddle up and get warmer. I drifted off to sleep right away and woke up with a sudden sharp pain in my ass. HC was easing his fat huge cock up my ass. I let out a yell and told him to stop. He started whining. Please let me finish. I said no it hurt too much. When he got me settled back down he apologized to me and said he didnt want to hurt me but just wanted to see what it felt like. I told him it hurt like hell and his dick was too big to fit in my ass.
He begged me to just let him stick it between my legs so he could finish. I said finish what?
What did I know I was not even masturbating yet.
He said it wouldnt take long and he promised he wouldnt hurt me. I just wanted to go to sleep but he wouldnt stop so I said only between my legs and hurry up so I can go to sleep. He started going faster and faster and then he stuck it in my ass real fast and hard. I thought I was going to die. I started crying begging him to stop. He was three times bigger than me and I was scared. After what seemed like an eternity He stopped and started shaking and breathing real fast kissing me on the neck. My ass was on fire.He then pulled out and I just kept whimpering to myself with my ass throbbing like it was on fire. I had never felt such pain. I couldnt imagine how he could have gotten that huge cock in my butt. I finally cried my self to sleep feeling sick at my stomach and very confused.Thats all I can say for now...


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#28073 - 03/13/05 04:02 PM Re: I asked him to stop.
self_righting Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 69
Loc: Tampa, FL
Xenoman,

I am sorry for what was done to you. I am sorry your friend betrayed you for his seflish desires. It was very brave of you to share this with us. You are not alone. Sadly, most of us here have been betrayed by the ones that should have looked out for us.

J


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#28074 - 03/13/05 05:21 PM Re: I asked him to stop.
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
Xenonman - I'm also sorry for what that Perp did to you. He was 16 but sexually offended you; perhaps even groomed and set you up for this act! It's sad how these traumas "screw with our minds" for years afterward!! I'm glad, however, you had the courage to get that horror out here and the strength to not keep that "crap" stinking inside!! The more we talk out the hurts, pains and traumas then we won't act them out (ie. alcohol, drugs, food, sex/porn addictions, gender confusion, shame, guilt, self image issues, trust and control issues, etc.).
Keep on the journey, brother, the journey gets easier after a while and life definitely gets better!!

Howard

_________________________
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

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#28075 - 03/13/05 10:48 PM Re: I asked him to stop.
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Xenoman, I'm sorry.

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#28076 - 03/13/05 11:17 PM Re: I asked him to stop.
bda Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/18/04
Posts: 26
Loc: North Carolina
Xenoman,

Sometimes I wish that there was a clearer way to sit in silence with each other on a discussion board. So, in the silence that followed my reading your post, know you were held in thoughts and prayers.

You're not alone.
Peace,
Brian

_________________________
Unbind him, and let him go.

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#28077 - 03/14/05 03:56 PM Re: I asked him to stop.
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
xenoman.
Iam sorry that you have a reason to come here.

Quote:
I have never felt like I could speak out about what happened that night.
You can alse share your story here because we will listen and understand your pain.
Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#28078 - 03/14/05 04:26 PM Re: I asked him to stop.
Glen Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 71
Loc: Wisconsin
xenoman
I am very sorry about what happened to you.
Paece Brother.

_________________________
Please tell me why..

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#28079 - 03/14/05 07:43 PM Re: I asked him to stop.
ForeverFighting Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1058
Loc: New Mexico, USA
xenoman,

I'm so sorry your "friend" did that to you. I'm glad you found this place. You're not alone here.

_________________________
ForeverFighting

"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

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#28080 - 03/15/05 07:21 PM Re: I asked him to stop.
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Xenoman,
I am sorry that your friend forced himself on you.
I see that Ken Singer has edited what still remains a very graphic posting. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

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