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#28065 - 06/18/04 05:47 AM Bad thing I do, maybe is trigger
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
I tell someone last night, something bad I been doing for years now. I make myself get sick, a lot, usualy a few times each day. It was easier this week, being sick, I did not need force it so much. But I know it is bad thing, and wrong thing to be doing. People have asked me if I do self harm things, and I always think, no, I only have cut on myself one time. But I guess this is harm to myself also. I will tell my therapist of it next time I go. But needed to 'tell' it more then just the one person. So that is why I put it to here. Thank you

Andrei


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#28066 - 06/18/04 10:59 AM Re: Bad thing I do, maybe is trigger
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
I'm glad that you know that doing these things is not good for you. Yes, it is a good idea to talk to your therapist about these things, you need to stop doing them and find other ways to take care of whatever is making you do these things.

I think your a great guy and I want you to be healthy, please take care of yourself.

Jason

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#28067 - 06/18/04 12:10 PM Re: Bad thing I do, maybe is trigger
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Andrei it is called bulemia and I had it for years. Eat and purge. And I had anorexia, would not eat. It is all a manifestation of what happened to you. Yeh telling your therapist is the right thing to do. Brother you are not alone in this. Eat the right stuff and stay healthy. I did it to hid the body that got me into trouble or so I thought.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#28068 - 06/18/04 05:17 PM Re: Bad thing I do, maybe is trigger
fusionoflove Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/03/04
Posts: 112
Loc: Los Angeles, CA
Andrei,

I too, developed an eating disorder, anorexia. I lost close to 40 lbs. I'm so pale, that some people joked and called me dead man walking. LOL.

Since I started recovery, my apetite has come back. I think this due to the fact that I can feel my body again and it's needs.

I've heard that survivors tend to develop eating disorders. Looking back, I think I was doing it for a couple reasons. One, I didn't care about my body anymore. It had been used and abused. Second, the uglier that I was, I think subconsciously, I had an idea that I wouldn't be attacked again.

It sounds crazy, but after awhile my body started to resemble how I felt inside. Don't worry though it will all come back. The body, mind, and emotions all want to maintain a state of homeostasis. As soon as you start to return to a normal level, everything will pass. Continue with therapy.

Take it easy,
Fusion


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#28069 - 06/18/04 07:35 PM Re: Bad thing I do, maybe is trigger
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Andrei
bulimia is another way of 'dealing' with the abuse, not a good way - as you have realised.

And the best start to dealing with this is to talk about it and break the secret. Tell your therapist, and maybe a close friend who can keep an eye on you and offer support.
It's something you can get over, you have the will to it so you've done the hard part.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#28070 - 06/19/04 06:46 AM Re: Bad thing I do, maybe is trigger
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Andrei,

I am very, extremely proud of you for telling about this, first to your friend, and then to your other friends here. I greatly encourage you to tell your therapist next week. She will be able to help you with the mental feelings that cause you to be unhealthy to yourself. And you will get through this. I feel fortunate enough to know so many wonderful, strong people in life. And you are strongest of all. You will be fine.

tvoi drook,
Leshka

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#28071 - 06/19/04 08:33 PM Re: Bad thing I do, maybe is trigger
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Andrei - you have shown great strength by telling us about your experiences with bulmia. Please be sure that we support you here & care about you. Do not be ashamed - it is one of the ways that you have learned to cope.

I look forward to hearing that you have conquered this issue... all the support I have, I give to you...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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