i come from a land [long ago and far away] of self loathing and shame. strangely enough, those who supposedly had my best interests at heart banished me there. but they were filled with self-loathing and shame too, so they merely passed on the bias in their own narrow thinking.
i found myself trapped for so long in my attempt to use the limited tools given me as the means of salvation. those tools for me merely reinforced the shame and self-loathing. i had to escape that island of seclusion in order to find other tools that would lead me to freedom ultimately creating more healthy balance of all the facets of my life as a human person.
it was only once i began to risk seeking beyond the confines of early childhood grooming that i was able to dwell in the prospect of hope for freedom from shame and hate. it was only after learning to apply those new perspectives that the shame and hate dissolved and crises dissipated. in time, separate from the shaping influences of my past, i was free to introduce the full range of human emotions, and begin to make them part of my life's experience.
in shame and self-loathing i used to live my life facing the downfall of the crucifixion event, but after spending 3 long days in my own metaphorical tomb, condemned to hell, stuck with the effects of the past, i was given the grace to cast off the stone sealing me there. i was given new freedom and a new power and grace to rise above the impact of my former life. now the burden of the journey is much lighter.
hoping for all the best for you in your healing,