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#280462 - 03/23/09 10:28 AM Why Do People Abuse?
Clockwise Offline


Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Pennsylvania
This is a question I have asked myself many times. The answer seems so simple-because they're sick and twisted sub-human beings. But I know it has to me more complicated than that. I also understad the cycle of abuse and that people who are abused are more likely to do it to others. But why? I know you guys aren't psychologists but I just want to know why someone would want to have sex with a child. I've read many of the survivor stories here and sometimes it scares me to think that the man who I walk pass on the sidewalk or see in the market could be going home and molesting and raping his child.

I think about this alot and it just doesn't make sense that a normal guy would want to have sex with a kid. Is there any science to it or is it just plain evil?

_________________________
Yet another 24 hours.

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#280463 - 03/23/09 10:32 AM Re: Why Do People Abuse? [Re: Clockwise]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Originally Posted By: Clockwise
people who are abused are more likely to do it to others.


Actually, not so. Known as the "vampire myth", here's some text from the Education link on the main MS page:

Quote:
MYTH - The "Vampire Syndrome" - that is, boys who are sexually abused, like the victims of Count Dracula, go on to "bite" or sexually abuse others.

This myth is especially dangerous because it can create a terrible stigma for the child, that he is destined to become an offender. Boys might be treated as potential perpetrators rather than victims who need help. While it is true that most perpetrators have histories of sexual abuse, it is NOT true that most victims go on to become perpetrators. Research by Jane Gilgun, Judith Becker and John Hunter found a primary difference between perpetrators who were sexually abused and sexually abused males who never perpetrated: non-perpetrators told about the abuse, and were believed and supported by significant people in their lives. Again, the majority of victims do not go on to become adolescent or adult perpetrators; and those who do perpetrate in adolescence usually don't perpetrate as adults if they get help when they are young.




_________________________
Eddie

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#280474 - 03/23/09 11:47 AM Re: Why Do People Abuse? [Re: Clockwise]
Jethro8 Offline


Registered: 03/16/09
Posts: 29




Edited by Jethro8 (07/25/09 08:10 PM)

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#280678 - 03/24/09 10:09 PM Re: Why Do People Abuse? [Re: Clockwise]
Candyman Offline


Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 12
Quote:
This is a question I have asked myself many times. The answer seems so simple-because they're sick and twisted sub-human beings. But I know it has to me more complicated than that. I also understad the cycle of abuse and that people who are abused are more likely to do it to others. But why? I know you guys aren't psychologists but I just want to know why someone would want to have sex with a child. I've read many of the survivor stories here and sometimes it scares me to think that the man who I walk pass on the sidewalk or see in the market could be going home and molesting and raping his child.

I think about this alot and it just doesn't make sense that a normal guy would want to have sex with a kid. Is there any science to it or is it just plain evil?



I often ask myself this too. We are living in strange times. 200 years ago, it was normal for a child to get married, and have kids as soon as they started puberty (13 or 14 y/o), and they would often marry an older man (much older). They didn't seem to suffer any negative psychological effects from this. Today, this would be considered child molestation. I believe that it all comes from what we are programed to believe from the mass media. I believe that there are two truths in the world. One truth that the elite have, and another "truth" that is taught to the masses. The truth that is given to the masses is often warm and fuzzy, and full of bull$hit.



Edited by Candyman (03/24/09 10:12 PM)

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#280685 - 03/24/09 10:36 PM Re: Why Do People Abuse? [Re: Candyman]
myboyhoodfears Offline


Registered: 03/13/09
Posts: 457
Quote:
They didn't seem to suffer any negative psychological effects from this. Today, this would be considered child molestation. I believe that it all comes from what we are programed to believe from the mass media


so in essance the only reason why anyone is here is because society's views have made us think that what happend to us was bad for us...and sexual contact between adults and children is not legitimately harmful, except if physical harm was part of the sexual contact?..so it's ok then for a 13 year old boy to have sex with a 45 yearld pedophile if he consents to it?..as long as the society in which he lives thinks its ok then no harm, right?....what if the boy was 4 and society didnt have any taboos against having sex with 4 yearolds? would that be ok as well?

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Post Nubilia Pheobus

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#280720 - 03/25/09 02:51 AM Re: Why Do People Abuse? [Re: Clockwise]
tony2c Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 37
Loc: ny
Dear C

In our society today sex and sexual intimacey has become a matter of fact physical act.
The implications of sex has deep emotional and psychological undertones. It was "designed" to provide for the continuation of the human species. It is not just a physical act it goes well beyond that.
I don't know how many times I've heard people say in response to a survivor of SA "Just get over it" or "move on with your life". It goes to show how ignorant people can be about the consequences of sexual actions.
Humanity as a whole will never be able to understand the why of CSA because they barely understand the implications of being a sexual being ( I was tempted to use the expression sexual animal instead of sexual being no doubt a consequence of my experiencing CSA )

Tony


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#280763 - 03/25/09 12:40 PM Re: Why Do People Abuse? [Re: tony2c]
Letourski Offline


Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada
Hey guys,

As a result of the abuse I suffered my feelings about sex are totally scrambled. I agree Tony that sex has an emotional undertone and that it goes well beyond a physical act. Having sex with children is NEVER acceptable because the child is not emotionally/mentally mature enough to know what they may or may not be consenting to. How can you ask a child to consent to something they know nothing about? That's called manipulation and violence.

Candyman

There was a time when society was privy to public executions. Would you say that as a society we should participate in something like that as well? As a species humans evolve both biologically and socially as well. The fact that child molestation was not a crime and even encouraged some 200 years ago is an example of humanity in it's early sociological forms.
At that time there was also many religious persecutions, would you accept that today? The answer is plainly NO you wouldn't. Child molestation is barbaric and cruel, as I said earlier it is NEVER okay to have sex with a child.

Dan

_________________________
I am the warrior.

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#280776 - 03/25/09 04:30 PM Re: Why Do People Abuse? [Re: Letourski]
Riley Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/09
Posts: 597
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Candyman
I often ask myself this too. We are living in strange times. 200 years ago, it was normal for a child to get married, and have kids as soon as they started puberty (13 or 14 y/o), and they would often marry an older man (much older). They didn't seem to suffer any negative psychological effects from this.


I see where you are trying to go with this, but whats to say that those children were not negatively effected. Don`t quote me but I believe physcology was very primitive 200 years ago. Show me a study that says these kids were not negatively effected by this abuse.


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#280781 - 03/25/09 05:50 PM Re: Why Do People Abuse? [Re: Candyman]
JDBook Offline
New Here

Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 14
Loc: Texas, USA
Just because something was socially acceptable 200 years ago doesn't mean that it wasn't harmful or had negative consequences. 200 years ago in the United States, slavery was legal and, at least in the South, considered socially acceptable. Yet, I think everyone here would agree that slavery was harmful and had many negative consequences and just because it was socially acceptable doesn't mean it isn't wrong.

It may have been socially acceptable for young girls that just entered puberty to be married to older men, but I believe that it had a negative impact on them, even if they couldn't pinpoint the problem or do anything about it because of society at the time.


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#280810 - 03/25/09 08:47 PM Re: Why Do People Abuse? [Re: JDBook]
Candyman Offline


Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 12
No need to flame me, I was sexually abused as a child also, yet in a different way than most of you. I try to look at things in a non-biased, philosophical way. Forcing any child to do anything sexual against his will, or even consensual, is wrong, and they should be sent to prison for it. Biologically, one would have to ask the question, didn't nature intend for young people this age to marry and reproduce? People are more fertile than they will ever be, when they first start puberty. Of course, in modern times, this would cause overpopulation...Yet in ancient times when their was endless war, the high birth rate would probably make-up for the high death rate caused by war and illness. I think in modern times, kids, and adults, have changed. I will say this... If I was able to have children, I would much rather see my 15 y/o daughter get impregnated by a 40 y/o man that had money, and loved her, than a young 15 y/o punk that smokes pot and wears his hat turned sideways and has a gold tooth in the front of his mouth.


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