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#280082 - 03/19/09 04:23 PM 66 Guidelines for Male/Male Rape Survivors
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 301
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Chapter_One_Within: 66 Guidelines for Male/Male Rape Survivors
By
Doug W/Survivor of Hostage Rape and Torture

*This is the short version, long version is my interpretation of each guideline in non-graphic yet non-superficial narratives.

Guidelines that give insight and remedy for issues and conditions unique to sexual assault survivors. Offering readers a guide for their own recovery, restoration and rehabilitation of spirit, mind and body. Sixty-six guidelines that address:
-Sexual identity crisis and intimacy; internal/external
-Sexual dysfunction; physical, mental and emotional
-Reorientation of natural sexuality
-Rape related post-traumatic stress disorder
-Indepth self-searching; methods and techniques
-Relaxation exersises; mental/physical
-Cognitive thoughts and feelings; tangible/intangible
-Relationships; women, men, family and friends
-Memory; repression/suppression
-Exorsising intrusive flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance issues
-Professional mental health care
-Pharmacology and self-medicating
-Isolation and emotional shutdown
-Web site and internet research for specific types of abuse

--PLAN--
P-Professionals and pharmacology
L-Literature, internet and information
A-Assembling a support network
N-Neurotic, psychotic and psychosomatic relief

--SURVIVORSHIP--
S-Side effects of sexual abuse
U-Unless you try it won't work
R-Research information on specific type of abuse you survived
V-Venture into intimacy slowly, fire when ready
I-Intrusive flashbacks during arousal, nightmares/avoidance
V-Virility is a concept of self-image
O-Out with the bad, in with the good
R-Romanticize, fantasize and desensitize
S-Sexual pleasure is the goal
H-Having patience is a must
I-Independence from the past is obtainable
P-Peace, understanding and comfort. Living daily without
continued self-revictimization. Identifying helpful/hurtful
thinking and behavior. Acknowledging instinctive negative
reactions to internal/external stimuli

--CURB--
C-Commotion must stop, ease within takes place
U-Unwanted negative reactions eliminated
R-Resentments identified and acknowledged
B-Boundries began to fall, appreciation development

--RECOVERY; The Spirit--
R-Realignment with internal/external forces
E-Energy blocking you from the power is cut out
C-Cognitive thinking, conscious and subconscious
O-Open yourself up
V-Verbalize everything to someone unaffected by the trauma
E-Enter yourself, the truth
R-Rely on reality
Y-Your mind and body will follow

--RESTORATION; The Mind--
R-Repressed and suppressed memories
E-Emotional release
S-Sexuality is instinctive
T-Treatment
O-Overrule mental, if only I had done...this or that scenarios
R-Rape and terror
A-All mental/emotional conditions and issues listed
T-Tangible thoughts and feelings
I-Intangible thoughts and feelings
O-Only you know
N-Nutritional brain food

--REHABILITATION; The Body--
R-Recognize limitations
E-Envision rebuilding whats broken
H-Health, physical
A-Address tention
B-Begin relaxation techniques
I-Issues made worse due to emotional state
L-List physical conditions related to the trauma
I-Identify concerns that require professionals
T-Take care of concerns that don't require professionals
A-Attention: your body and sexuality
T-Tangible thoughts and feelings
I-Intangible thoughts and feelings
O-Only you know
N-Neutral and natural

--REORIENTATION; Your Sexuality
R-Reinstate sexual feelings
E-Erotic enjoyment
O-Original sexual development
R-Relax and forget it
I-Internal sexual dysfunction
E-External sexual dysfunction
N-Nice feelings and new ideas
T-Test drive the equipment
A-Amorous ability returns
T-Tangible thoughts and feelings
I-Intangible thoughts and feelings
O-Only you know
N-Now or never, start with conversation


*Long version for: Don't let the past ruin the future/INSIDE in the Men_Women_of_HRT/S:70 Guidelines for Hostage Rape and Torture Survival.

All of my yesterdays made me what I am today. So when I had a handle on all the misery I could handle, I brought back into my life what I had lost, avoided and missed out on. I made another list. I liked making lists, it was as if I could take an intangible thought and by seeing it on paper I would feel the item on a list in a tangible way. Seeing is believing. The same could be said of the daily score I kept in the journal charting my comfort level on a scale of one to five, five being a day of uninterupted comfort. Each day I rated was tallied and recorded in a graph chart. My emotions then became tangible. I could see my progress and patterns on paper. Any month with a tally over one-hundred meant at least two-thirds of the month was a success. When I started hitting fours and fives consistantly I knew I was obtaining my goals. It was a trip to see that Thursday's were my best day overall. I have some ones and twos in there; but hey, no one is perfect in my book.


*Long version for: Imagine your spirit, mind and body as a compass/SURVIVORSHIP in the SURVIVORSHIP:49 Daily Guidelines for Sex Crime Survivors

There is an awesome universal power, a continual momentum and it will gyrate no matter what efforts I inject to control it's destiny. I can seek and go with that power or concentrate on my ego driven self. When I fixate on my self the compass needle spins eratically and direction is lost, thus polarity within my spirit, mind and body.

Please feel free to download these guidelines to write your own long version,
Thank you



Edited by men_of_hrts.dbw (12/27/10 04:52 PM)
Edit Reason: remove off-site contact
_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

Top
#280143 - 03/20/09 03:49 AM Re: 66 Guidelines for Male/Male Rape Survivors [Re: men_of_hrts.dbw]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
That is quite a bit of information. Hopefully some of the guys will look through it and maybe begin to understand some of it. I'm glad that this information has helped you and I'm glad that you have shared it with us.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#280205 - 03/20/09 08:26 PM Re: 66 Guidelines for Male/Male Rape Survivors [Re: Trucker51]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 856
Loc: washington
Men of hrts,

The more I think about this post, the more I see a need for time to digest...

Thank you for sharing...it's kind of inspirational.


Call me when your sober (Evanescence)


island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#281407 - 03/30/09 11:38 AM Re: 66 Guidelines for Male/Male Rape Survivors [Re: Trucker51]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 301
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Mark
Thanks for the reply to the 66 Guidelines, they helped me overcome all the sexual identity issues that baffled me for thirty years.

The intrusive flashbacks during arousal and the internal homophobic ideals that I was confused about.

Once I understood the source I was able to see how the abduction and my unwilling interaction to stay alive had a longterm affect on my normal sexuality.

Thanks for the support.

I will post the Survivorship:49 Daily Guidelines for Sex Crime Survivors today.

_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

Top
#281409 - 03/30/09 11:48 AM Re: 66 Guidelines for Male/Male Rape Survivors [Re: 1islandboy]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 301
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Island
Thanks for the reply.

I wrote these Guidelines because I couldn't find any professionals with experience working with m/m rape victims who survived the level of violence I endured.

They saved my life and helped me to become the person I was before the abduction.

I tried AA but I never talked about the abduction. I met a lot of lifelong friends there and still talk weekely with those who understand.

I was telling my buddy Robert, 12 Steps didn't fix me so I developed 185 Guidelines that did. Even Mark Houston, who I met here in N. Texas has a copy in his Recovery facility.

Again, Thanks and hope the 66 guidelines will help others.

_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

Top


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