Wow, again! What a posting. Again, another issue that has been continually confusing and attacking me. Why and how do I love my wife of 16yrs, and two kids, and yet still act out with guys. I can sit back and logically know that triggers set me off. And, I know and can watch me (as if I'm watching a movie) take those first seemingly unimportant decisions that then lead to me acting out and cheating on my wife with a man... This was not easy to say!

I will say though, since I've been reading posts on here, and sharing, the desire to act out has essentially gone away. not sure how that works,but I've been praying for those urges to not be important to me, and it seems they are no longer as much of a stronghold in my mind... They're not gone, but they are not continually making my decisions for me.....

J-

Adam,

I was rereading this thread and came across your post to it (sorry I missed it before):

In light of what I know about your horrific abuse experiences, no, it doesn't seem strange to me at all. You already have the explanation in the rest of your post: for you as a boy, sex was about abuse, and now, even though it's all over, these images are still with you. So sure, for you, even as a healthy 21 yo, sex is something that you don't even want to think of yet. What you are doing here is protecting yourself emotionally - nothing more, nothing less.

The big question is how do you feel about this? It would help you as lot to let those feelings out. And THIS comes right back to something I just said to you on another thread: please don't fall into the trap of letting yourself be defined by the faults or crimes of others.

Much love,
Larry

hi guys. i have question. #1 how did you guys learn that you were bi#2 if i found out i was bi,what would i do then? im married and my wife said i will help you with anything BUT you are not cheating on me.... i understand but how do you supress thoes feelings forever???i dont know what i am but i dont know how to find out. this econimy is so bad we dont have the money for counceling.i need some people to talk to. help help help