First of all my name is thomas and Iīm 20. My mum died when I was 11, my dad has found a new girlfriend about a year later. it was great for the first few months, she was just 15 years older than me so we had a lot of fun and I thought that maybe I found, not a new mum but somebody like my mum.when I had my 13th birthday, she came into my room at night and... she said itīs a gift for me, she just wants me to become a man. and from this day I feel like the greatest gift for me can be just to die. I canīt describe any details itīs too soon, but the worst of it is that I betrayed my father, he loves her and I didnīt stop it. Iīm a guy,I should know how to do that...the last time she did this when I was 18. I donīt know how to forget, how to stop being scared of everybody... maybe itīs time to see my mum again