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#27867 - 06/18/04 01:01 PM Re: You will hate me for this. (TRIGGERS)
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I thought my computer had stolen my stammer with all these repeated posts, but it must be the virus or whatever that's affected the major servers over the last few days ;\)

Anyway, Cameron.
You have every right to be here, just as you have every right to start your recovery and regain some normality in your life.

What you've done in the past was done for many reasons, and driven by abuse and everything else that goes with it.
Some of us did things we can barely speak of even now, so you aren't alone.
It takes a bit of work and time to figure out what happened, and where we want to go from here, but we can do it.

Stick around, the support here is as good as it gets.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#27868 - 06/18/04 01:02 PM Re: You will hate me for this. (TRIGGERS)
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I thought my computer had stolen my stammer with all these repeated posts, but it must be the virus or whatever that's affected the major servers over the last few days ;\)

Anyway, Cameron.
You have every right to be here, just as you have every right to start your recovery and regain some normality in your life.

What you've done in the past was done for many reasons, and driven by abuse and everything else that goes with it.
Some of us did things we can barely speak of even now, so you aren't alone.
It takes a bit of work and time to figure out what happened, and where we want to go from here, but we can do it.

Stick around, the support here is as good as it gets.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#27869 - 06/18/04 01:03 PM Re: You will hate me for this. (TRIGGERS)
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I thought my computer had stolen my stammer with all these repeated posts, but it must be the virus or whatever that's affected the major servers over the last few days ;\)

Anyway, Cameron.
You have every right to be here, just as you have every right to start your recovery and regain some normality in your life.

What you've done in the past was done for many reasons, and driven by abuse and everything else that goes with it.
Some of us did things we can barely speak of even now, so you aren't alone.
It takes a bit of work and time to figure out what happened, and where we want to go from here, but we can do it.

Stick around, the support here is as good as it gets.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#27870 - 06/18/04 01:13 PM Re: You will hate me for this. (TRIGGERS)
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I thought my computer had stolen my stammer with all these repeated posts, but it must be the virus or whatever that's affected the major servers over the last few days ;\)

Anyway, Cameron.
You have every right to be here, just as you have every right to start your recovery and regain some normality in your life.

What you've done in the past was done for many reasons, and driven by abuse and everything else that goes with it.
Some of us did things we can barely speak of even now, so you aren't alone.
It takes a bit of work and time to figure out what happened, and where we want to go from here, but we can do it.

Stick around, the support here is as good as it gets.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#27871 - 06/18/04 03:48 PM Re: You will hate me for this. (TRIGGERS)
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Cameron,

You did what you had to do to survive. Why would I hate you?

I hate the man who raped you, my friend. You did NOTHING to deserve it.

Know that you're in my thoughts, and I care about you. I believe you. And I love you with nothing wanted in return and no strongs attached.

Peace and love,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#27872 - 06/18/04 11:14 PM Re: You will hate me for this. (TRIGGERS)
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Camron,

I don't want to alarm you, but have you taken a good look at your friend? You were raped at a party that he took you to. He left you with someone he brought into the house and then left the two of you alone.
It might be time to look for other digs. I realize that's easier to say than do, but check out some agencies where you could get shelter while you figure something else out.
I'm not trusting the place where you are.
I do believe your story and wish you the best but the father thing is coming out in me as I listen to your story. Please be aware of what may be going on.
One of your new brothers who's old enough to be a grandfather,
David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#27873 - 06/19/04 05:22 AM Re: You will hate me for this. (TRIGGERS)
joseph7 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 02/02/03
Posts: 18
Camron: I don't hate you. How can I judge you for your mistakes when I have many of my own? I agree with Ivanhoe that you need to find a safer place to live. You are in danger of getting hurt by your roommate's friend! I wish I could help you in some way. Good luck. joseph7


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#27874 - 06/19/04 06:09 AM Re: You will hate me for this. (TRIGGERS)
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Camron,

Welcome here. I am, as always, sorry that you have need to be here, but I am glad that you found this site. I have been here just now a year, and it has litrally saved my life.

Sorry, but I don't hate you, and can't imagine I would. I have sympathy and empathy for you, and I hope that you will be able to find help to start feeling better about yourself, and realizing that the guilt is not yours. That is something that I still struggle with at some times, but it does get better. IT DOES GET BETTER. I promise you that. You do not know me, and I am sure a promise from me does not mean anything. But I do mean it.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#27875 - 06/19/04 09:28 AM Re: You will hate me for this. (TRIGGERS)
camron Offline
Member

Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 39
Loc: england
Thankyou everyone, youre all really nice, its made ,me feel like a part of something, I think I will look for some where else to live Ivanhoe, thta guy who was there, he was not nice, he woludn't leave me alone, when my friend (I dont know if I can call him that now) came home, I came down stairs and st in the kitchen with him, and his friend made some lewd comments about me, and my house mate thought it was funny, I dont know if he realised what he meant by them, but I did, his friend has gone home now, (thankfully he didnt stay over night) but he asked me if he could talk to me alone, I said no but my friend asked me why I wouldnt and I had no choice to go with him, when we were on our own he tried to kiss me, I idnt want him to so i told him to leave me alone,but he wouldnt he just kept trying to touch me, I dont know what to do,should I tell my house mate what he did?
I dont think he knows I was raped at the party, (well I diddnt tell him anyway.) so maybe thats why he saw no harm in us being alone, i dont know im confused now, I feel sad.
sorry I just had to tell someone this, I couldnt keep it bottled up not like before, its made me feel a little better saying all this today.
thanks for listening anyone who does.

_________________________
Collect some stars to shine for you,and start today, cause there are only a few.

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#27876 - 06/19/04 08:18 PM Re: You will hate me for this. (TRIGGERS)
fusionoflove Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/03/04
Posts: 112
Loc: Los Angeles, CA
camron,

I feel like an ass for not responding earlier to your post. Does that make me an ass? No, it just makes me feel like one. Sometimes in life there are things that we do and there are things that we don't do that negativly affect us. The same is true in your situation. 99.9% of the time in this gig called life we'll take more blame, shame, guilt, etc., etc. for things that are out of our control. Why? Maybe because we think everything should be in our control.

People have responded and said that you shouldn't blame yourself for what has happened to you. What you've done, you've done to survive? Can you or I blame anyone for that? Hell no, because once you pop out of womb there's no law that says someone should hold your hand or that someone should love us. It can really be a dog eat dog world out there. For me and others here, we sometimes feel that we were or that we are the next meal for those dogs.

We are not dogs, we are human beings that feel, breathe and think. We can't change this world, but we can do our best to change our world around us. Don't give up that fight. Fight for your spot in this world, your soul. Okay, I've started to ramble so I'll cut it right here. You found the right place. Someone once said to me, it sucks that you found us, but welcome to the treehouse.

Take it easy,
Fusion

If I were to hate you, wouldn't I hating myself as well?


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