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#278569 - 03/07/09 04:23 PM Re: my brother [Re: JBells]
40035 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/08
Posts: 3
Loc: Ontario Canada
Your actions on the restraining order was justified. As a survivor, I have had many forms of harassment and never took that option. The timing and circumstances were not right. My concern is that you were ready to laugh out loud at your brother. Nothing I can say here can express my regret of what happened to you. Just be carefull you do not become what you dread and fear the most. Somtimes a correction to a better path leads us to act in a form of revenge or worse, to become an abuser.
Keep positive thoughts and turn this page in your life.
To have any contact with him will only open you up to more hurt. He (your abuser)needs to seek out himself why he must hurt others to satisfy his needs through professionals.
Move on. Life does get better. Never give up!!

_________________________
Mark

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#278893 - 03/10/09 12:31 PM Re: my brother [Re: 40035]
JBells Offline


Registered: 10/21/08
Posts: 218
Loc: Juneau
become an abuser? never! although i have to admit that i love hearing the fear and panic in his voice. he called again last night, real late and got me on the phone. telling me how sorry he is, that was afraid of our dad, that he never meant to do that stuff to me. LOL, stuff? are you serious??? STUFF? he wouldnt admit that dad was hurting him too but im sure of it. he asked for my therapists phone number, he even asked if me and him could meet at my therapists office to talk.


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#279022 - 03/11/09 01:25 AM Re: my brother [Re: JBells]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
JB, I'm happy for you that you were able to do this. I would strongly suggest that you stop taking his phone calls now. I think that would be better for you and your brother both. He needs to deal with his regrets for himself and you need to be out of reach for him.

I'm not saying you should be afraid, I just think that now that you have reclaimed your personal power you should do all you can to make sure it stays that way and that he doesn't have any more opportunity to make you feel victimized in any way.

That's just my feeling though; I don't know much at all about your brother or the situation, but, just generally speaking, it seems like it would be a better choice, even if he seems remorseful about his abuse to not even allow him to get his foot in the door so to speak and harass you again or try to pressure you to forgive him.


_________________________
My Story
My Art

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#279024 - 03/11/09 01:52 AM Re: my brother [Re: blueshift]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
This is brilliant JBells, don't let anybody tell you that you did the wrong thing, you did the right thing. When brothers are like that, they are not real brothers at all.

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#279026 - 03/11/09 01:54 AM Re: my brother [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
Sometimes people think that just because your abuser is a relative that there should be some kind of friendly reconciliation, i don't think that's true at all.

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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