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#278096 - 03/03/09 05:26 PM Why Do I Feel Bad About This?
Clockwise Offline


Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Pennsylvania
Hi all. I'm a new member and this is my second post. Like many of the guys here I was sexually abused as a child. It only happened once and it was not physically painful but I still feel the emotional pain from it today. I'm 19 and I'm a virgin and like most teens I want to have sex but everytime I think about wanting or having sex I feel bad and dirty. I don't know why I feel this way. I am a bisexual male who is still in the closet and my therapist tells me that it's ok to want sex but I feel like I'm some kind of whore for wanting it. Do you guys ever feel like that and can you offer me some advice? Thanks in advance.

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Yet another 24 hours.

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#278098 - 03/03/09 05:44 PM Re: Why Do I Feel Bad About This? [Re: Clockwise]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
I understand where you are coming from. It may be because of how you relate sex in your mind. You may feel like it is dirty or bad because when you were sexually abused as a child sex was a bad thing, or a thing to be ashamed of or confused about. You say it didn't hurt, ok, but how about the aftermath? you say that you see a therapist so i will assume that this is all out in the open, and the general reaction to all of this (how people reacted when it was discovered-if it was discovered) may imprint on your mind that sex must be a bad thing with no exceptions, or that you should somehow now try to continue to preserve your innoccence by not wanting sex in some kind of defence to show people that the sexual abuse was not your doing and not something that you wanted, you don't need to "preserve that innoccence" (that is not even a valid de>


Edited by king tut (03/03/09 05:45 PM)
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"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#278114 - 03/03/09 06:57 PM Re: Why Do I Feel Bad About This? [Re: Clockwise]
Tadd Offline


Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 30

Hi Clockwise!!!

Welcome to MaleSurvivor first off....

One thing you said should show you that you are perfectly normal is that you're wanting to have sex... that's a part of nature and life don't relate the abuse you had with that at all.

Just you knowing that you want to have sex is rather a good sign and it's not something dirty or whorish either....it's a normal function and feeling especially in a man your age.

Please don't let the past dictate to you that you aren't a normal feeling person that desires closeness.

We're here for you at anytime my new friend and once again I welcome you here and to our family!


Tadd (Garrison)


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#278153 - 03/04/09 12:08 AM Re: Why Do I Feel Bad About This? [Re: king tut]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
well what else is left to say? lewis nailed it.
i hope you stay around the site and continue to share your great heart with the rest of us who know the experience of sexual abuse.

your brother in recovery,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#278661 - 03/08/09 04:06 PM Re: Why Do I Feel Bad About This? [Re: Sans Logos]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Welcome to MS Clockwise!


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#283218 - 04/11/09 12:34 AM Re: Why Do I Feel Bad About This? [Re: M3]
sojourn111 Offline


Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 86
Loc: midwest
Clockwise Great to meet you!

Lewis! Dead on.

Clockwise, what teen doesn't want to have sex? That is a healthy sign. Its a time to put physical needs, emotional needs, spiritual needs altogether. Yes it has been tilted but you are asking the right questions ans searching the right answers with a very mature awareness and honesty.


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