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#277673 - 03/01/09 01:11 AM I知 proud of myself...
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Qu饕ec, Canada
.



Edited by joelRT (03/02/09 01:21 AM)
_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#277685 - 03/01/09 05:00 AM Re: I知 proud of myself... [Re: joelRT]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Posted February 25th, 2009 at 7:02 PM on the News Forum, as the first response to a first-time poster username October:

This part is really interesting to me. I suffered from a lot of those symptoms in my teenage years into my 20s, and my symptoms were misdiagnosed as my having a bad attitude, and the remedy popular in that era was kicking me out of school or firing me from more than a few jobs. I have seen these symptoms in lots of other young people and I knew in my heart but couldn't really prove anything. This study provides some science to back-up my intuitions with.

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If children are abused early, they are flooded with stress-related hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, said Louise Newman, a professor of perinatal and infant psychiatry at the University of Newcastle in Australia. "This impacts directly on how the brain develops and the stress regulation mechanism. It becomes highly stressed so it's like setting the thermostat on high, setting up a system which regulates stress less efficiently," Newman said. "Also it impacts on the area which controls feelings, so they're more likely to be highly stressed, have difficulties with anger and emotions, and be prone to self-harm, anxiety, suicide and depression. It's not clear why some people overcome their past while others succumb to it.

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Great first effort October. Glad that you found us. Hope that we can be of help to you. I think that you will find us to be a caring and understanding bunch of guys. We are all here working together toward our common goal, which is freedom for us all.

Welcome to MS,

Mark

--------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------

As I recall, the last time that we talked, I tried to encourage someone that I have tried to encourage for six months now, as the only response to his topic, and you took offense to my response to him. (Topic: Driven: Sportinrucks: February 26th, 2009). Did you offer him anything in the way of encouragement or enlightenment yourself??? No. Your response was directed entirely at me and my overly positive outlook on life and recovery. And I responded to you as I saw fit, though certainly carefully measured and not in anger.

I have over 40 different personal heartfelt thank-you notes from different people on this site thanking me for my positive help and involvement. And yes, there are a few people who have not appreciated my help over time too. My guess is that the overall tally over time is running close to 10 to 1 in my favor now.

Here is what I will try to do for you Joel: I will try not to post directly after you post, and will not try to encourage you directly, as you have now indicated twice that you would prefer to proceed at your own pace. But I will continue to try to take my message to other people here. Yes, recovery is possible.

You have the right to believe whatever you want to, just as I do. One of the tenants of AA is to return to try to help others. What do you want me to do either with encouraging new members or trying to encourage someone that we both have had some involvement with? Perhaps you would like to add your own less optimistic opinion as a sort of balance to temper my enthusiasm?

----------------------------------------------------------------

Newman said: "Also it impacts on the area which controls feelings, so they're more likely to be highly stressed, have difficulties with anger and emotions".

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I too have had my issues over time with high levels of stress and difficulties with a quick temper and restricted emotions too, as well as with some need for reassurance or commendation. I would guess that I am not alone with that. In my own experience, some people tell me that I have made huge progress and that I have become much more positive than I once was, and I still have other people telling me that I need to work on being too negative and not positive enough. I tend to agree with the former opinion rather than with the latter one.

It is your choice Joel. Just like Playboy and Penthouse down at the 7-11, if you don't like it don't look. If you don't want to read overly positive encouragement in your recovery, just don't look. If that is what you want I will discontinue any direct response to you. But I will continue trying to bring my message of hope and encouragement to as many people as I have the strength to here.

Just don't look at it if it bothers you.

It is your choice,

Mark



_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#277749 - 03/01/09 02:05 PM Re: I知 proud of myself... [Re: Trucker51]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Qu饕ec, Canada
.



Edited by joelRT (03/02/09 01:21 AM)
_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

Top
#277756 - 03/01/09 02:37 PM Re: I知 proud of myself... [Re: joelRT]
Brother B+ Offline


Registered: 02/19/09
Posts: 16
Loc: France
Joel, don't go away from here if you are angry at one person. It's not worth it. You can find support here! And I have appreciated the answers YOU have given me to my few posts. There are those who will need your witness here.

_________________________
"Blessed are those who mourn, they shall be comforted"
St Matthew 5:5

Sometimes I think milk and cookies are the ultimate comfort food!

Brother B+ Story

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#277759 - 03/01/09 02:43 PM Re: I知 proud of myself... [Re: joelRT]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
They are mostly still in my PM file, except for a few that I have had to move to Word to free-up PM topic space, as I have had somewhere in the neighborhood of 250 PM topics to date, and I still am carrying 197 today. One of my PM topics has 129 posts, and 5 others have over 50. Only a few recent topics have less than several posts each. In fact, I have 40% more PMs here than I have public posts.

Why are you so bitter? So filled with sarcasm for your fellow man and his success? I never thought that I would get to where I am at. Through September of 1997 I had no hope either, and it was a long and arduous climb to my own freedom after that. I've had my setbacks too, but each time I managed to climb back out sometimes with help. Heck, just 5 years ago I had never even been on the internet. Even as recently as 10 months ago I hadn't even considered trying to bring my message of hope to anyone else. Do you think that no one can possibly be successful in their recovery? I would guess that our senior site staff would strongly contest that assumption, my therapist Mic Hunter too. What about my experience do you think is so much different from theirs?

How can you find your own way without some positive reinforcement, or someone to show you what is possible? When you were 4 years old did you ever think that you would learn to ride a bike? And just a few years later you were likely pretty good at riding a bike. Same with driving a car or anything else that you have ever learned to do. Someone had to inspire you, teach you, and be there to pickup the pieces when you fell. Perhaps I got lucky, as I had understanding and supportive people in my recovery to pick me back up when I fell. What I am attempting here is trying to pay them back for their support somehow, trying to take what I was taught and share it, in the hope that someone else can find their way to their own freedom too.

It is your choice Joel. You can choose to take my advice or you can choose to ignore my advice. It is a simple choice.

No hard feelings either way. Personally I hope that you do someday enjoy a better place in your life than you are in today.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#277767 - 03/01/09 04:08 PM Re: I知 proud of myself... [Re: Trucker51]
DannyT Offline
Member

Registered: 09/14/03
Posts: 402
Dear Joel,
I may be one of the 徒eep the chin up group you池e writing about, so I値l respond (or maybe I misconstrued, and this had nothing to do with me wink ). I recently started a post called Hope for Healing that was in part a response to one of your postings. Something you said touched a nerve, but since my ideas were different from those in your posting, I started a new discussion.

There was a time in my life when I felt the doom of abuse as a life sentence, and I no longer feel that way at all. I wrote because I knew that it would have meant a lot to my younger gloomier self to have seen those signs of hope. I wrote to witness my own slow healing, assuming there would be others out there like me who might want to talk about these things.

I was extremely surprised by your response. You seemed to sneer at my hopes, you accused me of judging you, of making assumptions about you, and you called me a fool. The most disturbing thing to me about your response was that it seemed to me that you hadn稚 actually read my message. Other than saying I didn稚 think it was pretense to hope for healing, practically every line in my note was a statement of my own beliefs with no reference to you at all. The sentences all start with I. The note was about me, not you. I知 still mystified that it could have been so misconstrued. In any case, I wrote back to you to apologize for any misunderstanding.

You ask for a little brotherly consideration. I try to give it in every note that I write. I try my best to be honest and useful and helpful and to express myself as clearly as I can. Sometimes I succeed more than others. But there痴 no way I (or anyone else) can write so that my words never get misconstrued. If I tried to second guess myself like that, nothing would ever get posted.

I think it痴 vital at MS that we see as many facets of the recovery process as possible. We need to be able to vent, to cry, to whine and complain, to laugh and celebrate. The more we see, the more every one of us can find some other survivor to whom he can relate, whose stories will help and who might have the right words at a hard time. In order for that to happen, we should respect each other痴 positions, different as they may be. We need to allow for all possibilities. We should be able to accept that healing can happen and that sometimes it doesn稚. We should also accept that one person's perspective is not an attempt to invalidate the other possibilities.

Above all, I think we need to treat one another kindly. When you say 電o not pre-suppose the right to preach to me your personal brand of recovery, I see an attempt to silence people. I hope I知 wrong. I can understand asking that people not respond to your notes. You could even say what kind of response was expected so people would know what would be helpful. But my thread was something I started, and something I really wanted to discuss. And even though you responded very strongly to it, it wasn稚 really about you at all. Should I have kept silent?

Sometimes I think we should put the warning ((triggers)) before every post here.

Peace,

Danny





Edited by DannyT (03/01/09 04:29 PM)

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#277802 - 03/01/09 07:49 PM Re: I知 proud of myself... [Re: DannyT]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Qu饕ec, Canada
.



Edited by joelRT (03/02/09 01:22 AM)
_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

Top
#277811 - 03/01/09 08:12 PM Re: I知 proud of myself... [Re: joelRT]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Why take your tools and leave before the job is finished?


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#277965 - 03/02/09 07:56 PM Re: I知 proud of myself... [Re: Trucker51]
Survivinguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 310
Loc: Colorado
All I can say is 848/5= 170.

On average 170 times a month you've shared something about yourself that inevitably has helped someone else or you've shared your perspective of someone else's stuff that may have helped them directly.

I understand I'm still relatively new but in my experience I know I have benefitted more from the posts by others on their own stuff than posting by my own new posts. I have posted my own story which was very helpful to me and I've shared some of my own issues but I've probably read 100 times more posts from others than created my own threads.

The best part is - there's no calculating how many have benefitted from your posts because while we have 6277 registered users, on any given day we have dozens if not 100s of anonymous guests/visitors.

Even if you were self-effacing (as I personally often am of myself) and cut 848 in half and only settled for the number of registered users, you'd have over 2.6 million people. (424 x 6277).

HEY! Math isn't totally useless after all!

Crap! Now I owe my 10th grade math teacher an apology!

smile

Wasn't that fun?

smile

(you know you smiled)

_________________________
Survivinguy

============================================
I have to survive and I hope to thrive.

Alumni Dahlonega WoR May 2010
Alumni Sequoia WoR March 2012

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#277966 - 03/02/09 08:00 PM Re: I知 proud of myself... [Re: Survivinguy]
christianfather Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
Survivor,

Thank you I need a laugh and smile today


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