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#277045 - 02/25/09 07:35 AM *Triggers* Dirty
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
I have to get this off my chest... I just feel so worthless cry

I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty I'm dirty I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty I'm dirty I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty I'm dirty


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#277047 - 02/25/09 07:37 AM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: Marinan]
christianfather Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
No your not dirty. They are, You are the victim and you are innocent.


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#277049 - 02/25/09 07:39 AM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: christianfather]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
Thanks Christian


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#277069 - 02/25/09 09:56 AM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: Marinan]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
To have been sullied is not to be dirty one's self............

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#277071 - 02/25/09 10:06 AM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: joelRT]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
What does that mean Joel?


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#277085 - 02/25/09 11:11 AM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: Marinan]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
.



Edited by joelRT (03/15/09 01:53 AM)
Edit Reason: leaving
_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#277088 - 02/25/09 11:19 AM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: joelRT]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
Yeah, I guess your right.


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#277089 - 02/25/09 11:20 AM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: Marinan]
riveerboy Offline


Registered: 02/04/09
Posts: 84
Loc: Indiana
I had to move to other posts. I was unsuree on how to even answer such a simple and expansive post.

The only thing I came up with was to look for a beautiful smile and wonderful eyes behind all that dirt. I see. I see.
I see. I see..............

Smiling back at ya, muddy face and all. You are beautiful.

Peace


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#277160 - 02/25/09 07:33 PM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: riveerboy]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
Thanks..... thnk you all.


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#277202 - 02/25/09 09:34 PM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: Marinan]
Barney Offline


Registered: 07/31/06
Posts: 236
Loc: Southern Utah/Northern Arizon
Hi Marinan,

I certainly can relate to where your at emotionally. Once of the side effects of being molested is to feel what your feeling. I like the analogy of getting sprayed by the passing bus. The good thing is that as you feel what you feel and recognize where the shit is coming from, you can wash it off so that is on you no longer.

Your in a process, a multi-staged process and you are working your way through it. You have come along ways to be where you are. The good thing to recognize is that feeling dirty says you still have a ways to go. There is a big gap between where you are and where you want to be.

Knowing that there still is a ways to go will give you the motivation to keep going. Once you work your way thru days like today, you get the payoff of knowing your clean, as clean and worthy as anyone else.

That is the process, the promise and the reality of keeping at it. You will make it. You know what you don't want and now you know even more clearly what you do want. That is a good thing.

Hang in there and know that we care.

Ron


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#277337 - 02/26/09 06:07 PM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: Barney]
Riley Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/09
Posts: 597
Loc: USA
Your far from alone on this one. Last night I had a dream and could not get a dirty, dirty taste out of my mouth all day today. I brushed my teeth 4 times and went through an entire pack of gum.


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#277338 - 02/26/09 06:14 PM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: Riley]
christianfather Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
Man do I know that feeling. Excessive brushing of teeth, mouthwash, gum. I hate when my memory kicks in and can't get the taste to go away.


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#277938 - 03/02/09 05:30 PM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: Barney]
fpower Offline


Registered: 03/02/09
Posts: 5
Go to you tube, type in beautiful and look at the Christina Ag. video...it's amazing.


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#284270 - 04/18/09 07:16 PM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: Barney]
wojax Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/22/04
Posts: 171
Loc: Florida
Please help me understand why you feel so dirty? I mean is it the Abuse or life style..just dont understand .... sorry
Gary

_________________________
Jer 7:23 ps 91:16

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#284304 - 04/18/09 10:51 PM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: wojax]
wes-b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

Marinan;

my feelings of worthlessness, at least the ones I have come to know thus far are tied to my abuses and that they were dehumanizing of me... to have been abused is to be dehumanized and being dehumanized make me less than and worthless in the company of humans... for I am no longer one. I am to be beneath another, my abuser(s), and of no value greater than that of a doormat.

Yuk...

Thanks for prompting that out of me...

Love, Wes

_________________________
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

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#284317 - 04/18/09 11:36 PM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: wes-b]
wojax Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/22/04
Posts: 171
Loc: Florida
Wes-d
Your going to make me get red headed here...Your a child of a living God that loves you. I agree abuse is dehumanizing when it is happening...But on the road to recovery we take that back...
I refuse to allow my abuser to have any control of my life... I AM WORTH FIGHTING FOR...as long as allow those feeling you will never be free..
Brother hold your head up high and declair I AM SOMBODY...My father is a King and that makes me a Kings KID..
God Bless You
Gary

_________________________
Jer 7:23 ps 91:16

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#284320 - 04/18/09 11:40 PM Re: *Triggers* Dirty [Re: wojax]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
Wojax if you see this message, I know you tried to talk to me in the chat room. I'm being blocked accidently. You just need to unblock me to see what I'm saying.


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