.

Well, if we're 10 again, Joel, may I suggest you and I go grab some Legos, a couple Disney movies, some popcorn and a few old action figures and hang out.

Sorry you're in such a bad spot. Hang in there, I'll be thinking of you. I'm not much better today, but at least we can be miserable together...

lars

Joel,

You Ok?
What's going my friend.
Need to talk I am here for you?

Mike

Joel, my brother and confidant.

Come on let's hang in there. Maybe we should have stuck with you TRYING to send me that MOOSE, at
least it would take your mind off of being 10 yrs old.

Take a rest again.

Heal well brother Joel,

Pete (Irishmoose)

joel it would help if you give us a few more specifics. you know, get the secrets out?

i'm pulling for you bro,

ron

Yup...10 is one of those positions on the permanent "age knob" we had installed with the CSA. Yer not alone in this. Try to remain around some people you can trust...maybe MS Chat???

hey big brother...

come back to the present moment...

Why on earth are so many of us connected to age 10 :-\

Hugs to you from your countryman out on the frozen prairies.

Wes

?

Joel, i'm with Lars here, the ten year old within me would love to play with the ten year old inside you, in the way that children suppose to play, in a safe way. Little Joel deserved better, and we cant get back what we lost, but you can still give little joel the things that he needs, you can provide him with the safety now that nobody gave him when he was being abused.

For me i try to let Big Lewis look after little Lewis as much as possible, not to always give in to the things that he wants, things like hiding in a corner (which little lewis often wants), but giving him the things that he needs, a hug, real love, protection, and doing things that i need to do to make both our dreams come true.

Big Joel and little Joel, you can be there for eachother now, and you can bounce off eachother to make eachother feel safe and happy.

These emotions hit hard, really hard, no, REALLY hard, i know. But you can protect the little guy inside you now Joel, you are a strong guy and i think everybody on this site would agree.

I would agree!

You were strong enough to post this message - breaking the rule of never telling anyone.

You were strong enough to post this message - acknowledging your feelings of fear and vulnerability rather than cowering in fear and giving up.

You are strong enough to be a very important, contributing member of MS.

I've been doing visualizations in my mind of my little one and my adult self meeting in a favorite safe place alone together so they can talk and my adult self can comfort the little one.

You need to remind your little one of all the things your adult you has done to give the little one a voice and to heal the little one. Don't believe for a second your adult you hasn't done anything - every step forward, however small, is another step of courage and strength - your little one just needs to be reminded he's safe now and there is one adult in this world he can trust - you.