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#275487 - 02/16/09 11:40 AM Cutting
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
I started cutting again today. This is something I had not done in a while. I thought it was all behind me.
It did not hurt as much as I expected it to. None-the-less, I felt better. I was too deep and it helped me come out of my phase.

Does anyone have any insight?

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

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#275491 - 02/16/09 12:05 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1977
Juni,

I don't know much about this stuff, but it sounds like your head was in a funk or phase and you resorted to the mechanism you knew to pull yourself out of it. I don't know what to tell you about alternative means of pulling yourself out of these funks, but others might be able to add to this. For myself getting outside seems to helps, maybe reading a book or watching a movie. Really anything to get my mind off fixating on myself. I can't see the cutting thing doing you any good in the long run so it would be good to find alternative coping mechanisms that are more healthy. Hope you are doing alright.

Eric


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#275507 - 02/16/09 01:26 PM Re: Cutting [Re: ericc]
Survivinguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 310
Loc: Colorado
Hey Juni - I was a cutter for a very, very long time. My therapist told me about a great alternative.

Believe it or not. Ice cubes!

When you are in that spot where you feel that urge/need/thirst, whatever you call it, go to icebox and get a full ice cube, go to the sink or wherever you don't mind a puddle of water. Then hold the ice cube in whichever hand you prefer - for as long as you can. I've been through a cube before but usually a minute or so does the trick. There's no blood, of course, and no scars - but the pain which helps break that mindset or control - that's real.

There was a post a couple weeks ago I will see if I can find it - a guy made a list of things to do before using a negative coping technique - that could help too.

Take care of yourself and try the ice cube - really it works too.

_________________________
Survivinguy

============================================
I have to survive and I hope to thrive.

Alumni Dahlonega WoR May 2010
Alumni Sequoia WoR March 2012

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#275511 - 02/16/09 01:30 PM Re: Cutting [Re: ericc]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Robbie Brown was discussing the need for a self-injury forum here last week on the Discussion Board forum, and I found these links during a Google search that I did then:


http://www.selfinjury.org/indexnet.html#selfharm

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm

http://www.focusas.com/SelfInjury.html

http://www.selfinjury.com/

Robbie also found a women's self-injury forum that he recommended called: www.PandorasAquarium.org

Here at MS we do have both an At-Risk "acting-out" forum, and an At-Risk "acting in" forum for members too. You would have to send Ken Singer, LCSW a PM to discuss access first. If you are having issues with self-harm our acting-in forum could be of benefit to you.

Hope that this helps,

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#275512 - 02/16/09 01:32 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Survivinguy]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
Thanks Survivinguy,

I will try it.
If you can find that post I would really appreciate it.

Thanks again,
Juni

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
#275515 - 02/16/09 01:40 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
Thanks Mark.

On the mark!

I will consider the AR thread.

Juni



Edited by Juni (02/16/09 01:42 PM)
_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
#275528 - 02/16/09 03:34 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
jesusstrength Offline


Registered: 02/16/09
Posts: 18
Loc: USA
Juni, I feel your pain, and hope you know that you're not alone. You're worth more than your past, and are loved by all of us and God. We want you to succeed in your life and want you to become a better man because of it, and not fall victim to the pain they caused you.

Have you ever seen the movie "the secret"? It's helped me a lot to invision a future for myself instead of living in my past. I try to watch it whenever I feel down, or depressed. Music is also a great help for me, and it changes my mood. I would sometimes listen to music before I went to school, because I just didn't want to go. After a few songs I felt much better and got dressed and finished high school. You should use something that brings you much joy when you're in pain. Use your enjoyment to give you strength instead of allowing your past to continue punishing you.


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#275666 - 02/17/09 02:12 PM Re: Cutting [Re: jesusstrength]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
jesusstrength,

Thank you for those kind words.
I did not feel any real pain.
It's strange, I wish I did.

The secret, I saw this once.

Someone saw the bandages yesterday and asked about them. I didn't want to lie but I was evasive. They figured it out anyway and freaked. I didn't think it was such a big deal.

I have to be careful or someone might decide Iím sick and put me away.

I do feel better now.

Juni

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
#275677 - 02/17/09 03:44 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
jesusstrength Offline


Registered: 02/16/09
Posts: 18
Loc: USA
thank you for all the help and guidance.


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#275843 - 02/18/09 02:52 PM Re: Cutting [Re: jesusstrength]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
I'm a jerk.

I let it happen.

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
#275845 - 02/18/09 02:55 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
Juni,

You are not a jerk. If nothing else, keep telling yourself that.

Hang in there.

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

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#275980 - 02/19/09 07:57 AM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
Juni
you are no jerk you are precious in the sight of God

we are here for you

Nathan


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#276004 - 02/19/09 10:42 AM Re: Cutting [Re: nathan555]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
Guys,

You don't know what I've been preparing to do.
The thoughts that I've been having.
They nag me.
The flash backs.

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
#276005 - 02/19/09 10:46 AM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
Regardless of the thoughts, regardless of the preparations, that still does not make you a jerk.

Perhaps you'd like to share what it is that you have been preparing to do and some of the guys here, I'm sure, will gladly chime in with their thoughts and experiences.

Couldn't hurt to try, huh? smile

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

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#276015 - 02/19/09 11:47 AM Re: Cutting [Re: lars3229]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
In my warped mind Iíve been preparing to act-out in the worst way.
To get into fights that I know I canít win, so I can get the * * * * out of me.

Itís so stupid.
I donít know what to say.

Maybe I need ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) to pop me out of it.
I donít know who does that anymore.





Edited by Juni (02/21/09 10:02 AM)
_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
#276019 - 02/19/09 11:58 AM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
Hang in there Juni. It's not stupid, it's part of the battle. Keep talking it out.

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

Top
#276020 - 02/19/09 12:02 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
wes-b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

Juni my brother;

If you have a warped mind you are in the right place. My decades of self hatred evidence to me that mine is warped. It is clear in my heart that the wounds of my abuses are at the root of my self hatred. My wounds taught me that my needs were nothing and where the hell did I get off having needs, deny them and 'get your ass over here punk' and do what I want. That's the gist of it. I am coming to know that I have needs and that it is ok to have them and express them. The adult Wes even receives positive feedback when he expresses his own needs... the little Wes in me still trembles at this, he does stay around and is excited to hear positive responses to adult Wes' needs ;-)

I don't know if you can take anything of that for yourself. Know that I am blessed by you being here and expressing where you are at. Nothing you share is stupid, it is where you are and you are not stupid... you are here which evidences your good sense, your character, your desire, and your willingness to heal.

Keep on roll'n Brother.

You are worth it!!!

Love and prayers of support and healing, Wes

_________________________
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

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#276051 - 02/19/09 03:10 PM Re: Cutting [Re: wes-b]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
I'm working really hard at keeping it together.
The prayers must be working.
I've been able to keep away from sharp objects.
Stayed clear of arguments.
Kept quiet mostly.
Keeping my mind focused on productive things.
Had a visit by another survivor.
Had a light lunch, a miracle!
Maybe I'll stop wasting away.

Working hard. I have too.

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
#276053 - 02/19/09 03:13 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Juni,

Do you find the chatroom helpful when yer hurting like this? It has been good for me when in similar situations. It helps to keep me focused a bit and attached to discussions with people who understand.

_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#276067 - 02/19/09 04:01 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Still]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
Robbie,

Yes, I would have given-up long ago without this site.
If nothing else it keeps me occupied until I get tired and I avoid the whole acting-out/in craziness.

I don't konw if that is healthy or not but for that time I am safe.
I have big brothers close to me,
I'm not rejected,
I'm not alone,
They won't let anyone hurt me,
Including myself.

Juni

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
#276242 - 02/20/09 04:36 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
crazy73 Offline


Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 26
deleted



Edited by crazy73 (09/23/09 04:40 AM)

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#276299 - 02/21/09 12:07 AM Re: Cutting [Re: crazy73]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Crazy73:

Welcome to our support forum. Glad that you found us. I think that you will find us to be a caring and understanding bunch of guys. We are all here working together to find our freedom. Alone we can't together we can!!!

Have hope,

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#276302 - 02/21/09 12:17 AM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
Juni
just keep talking it out and talking it out
same as the rest of us.
it helps and it works
I used to be a total mess in my head until I started talking
Nathan


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#276304 - 02/21/09 12:37 AM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
I have so much more to say about this...but who the fk knows exactly what the rules are anymore.

_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#276463 - 02/21/09 06:05 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
well i,too thought i was done hurting myself , i posted about it.........i'm in your corner in the only way i know .....be there to listen....hope you're ok


coop

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#276520 - 02/21/09 10:34 PM Re: Cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
I think something I posted to coop might be important for you too:
Quote:
Are you trying to get back in touch with something that you may feel you have lost? I know when I feel like that, sometimes it is my little guy trying to get attention, trying to say something. I use writing or art to allow him to express himself. Kind of a way to exercise the demons. It is giving him the voice he never had and I find it works for me. Cutting probably isn't much different other than the results being destructive instead of constructive.


Glad you found us here at MS. Peace and love...

Michael


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