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#275845 - 02/18/09 02:55 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
Juni,

You are not a jerk. If nothing else, keep telling yourself that.

Hang in there.

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

Top
#275980 - 02/19/09 07:57 AM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
Juni
you are no jerk you are precious in the sight of God

we are here for you

Nathan


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#276004 - 02/19/09 10:42 AM Re: Cutting [Re: nathan555]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
Guys,

You don't know what I've been preparing to do.
The thoughts that I've been having.
They nag me.
The flash backs.

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
#276005 - 02/19/09 10:46 AM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
Regardless of the thoughts, regardless of the preparations, that still does not make you a jerk.

Perhaps you'd like to share what it is that you have been preparing to do and some of the guys here, I'm sure, will gladly chime in with their thoughts and experiences.

Couldn't hurt to try, huh? smile

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

Top
#276015 - 02/19/09 11:47 AM Re: Cutting [Re: lars3229]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
In my warped mind Iíve been preparing to act-out in the worst way.
To get into fights that I know I canít win, so I can get the * * * * out of me.

Itís so stupid.
I donít know what to say.

Maybe I need ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) to pop me out of it.
I donít know who does that anymore.





Edited by Juni (02/21/09 10:02 AM)
_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
#276019 - 02/19/09 11:58 AM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
Hang in there Juni. It's not stupid, it's part of the battle. Keep talking it out.

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

Top
#276020 - 02/19/09 12:02 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
wes-b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

Juni my brother;

If you have a warped mind you are in the right place. My decades of self hatred evidence to me that mine is warped. It is clear in my heart that the wounds of my abuses are at the root of my self hatred. My wounds taught me that my needs were nothing and where the hell did I get off having needs, deny them and 'get your ass over here punk' and do what I want. That's the gist of it. I am coming to know that I have needs and that it is ok to have them and express them. The adult Wes even receives positive feedback when he expresses his own needs... the little Wes in me still trembles at this, he does stay around and is excited to hear positive responses to adult Wes' needs ;-)

I don't know if you can take anything of that for yourself. Know that I am blessed by you being here and expressing where you are at. Nothing you share is stupid, it is where you are and you are not stupid... you are here which evidences your good sense, your character, your desire, and your willingness to heal.

Keep on roll'n Brother.

You are worth it!!!

Love and prayers of support and healing, Wes

_________________________
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

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#276051 - 02/19/09 03:10 PM Re: Cutting [Re: wes-b]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
I'm working really hard at keeping it together.
The prayers must be working.
I've been able to keep away from sharp objects.
Stayed clear of arguments.
Kept quiet mostly.
Keeping my mind focused on productive things.
Had a visit by another survivor.
Had a light lunch, a miracle!
Maybe I'll stop wasting away.

Working hard. I have too.

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
#276053 - 02/19/09 03:13 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Juni]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Juni,

Do you find the chatroom helpful when yer hurting like this? It has been good for me when in similar situations. It helps to keep me focused a bit and attached to discussions with people who understand.

_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#276067 - 02/19/09 04:01 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Still]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
Robbie,

Yes, I would have given-up long ago without this site.
If nothing else it keeps me occupied until I get tired and I avoid the whole acting-out/in craziness.

I don't konw if that is healthy or not but for that time I am safe.
I have big brothers close to me,
I'm not rejected,
I'm not alone,
They won't let anyone hurt me,
Including myself.

Juni

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

Top
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