Mark, please hear Andrew's good words. You belong here as much as any of us my friend.
There's pretty good evidence that men who were abused "only" as adults are less likely to come forward, even in a forum like this one, becuz of just what you seem to be feeling: they feel that as adults they should have been able to protect themselves & stop the abuse, and becuz they didn't they really weren't abused.
Well, in a word, brother--bullsh*t!
If this were the case it would be consensual sex. What you went thru sure as h*ll wasn't consensual!
You were in the hospital, obviously sick & in a weakened & vulnerable position both physically & emotionally. You were taken advantage of by someone you should have been able to trust to take care of you. That, my friend, is abuse, and very traumatic abuse!
Mark, you not only belong here, you are particularly brave to be here-- becuz
you are a member of a minority here, becuz you've done something most men "like you," ie abused "only" as adults, haven't yet been able to do...
You've come forward. You've shared your story here, at the place that IMNSHO is the best place in the world, at least online, for any male survivor to share their story!
And you, my friend, are definitely a survivor!
Welcome, again, to the brotherhood, Mark!