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#274549 - 02/09/09 09:17 AM Its about him
JBells Offline


Registered: 10/21/08
Posts: 218
Loc: Juneau
It took a while but he finally got to me
Bound tight
Beaten viciously
My bruised body
My brused heart
But it's not about me right? its about his needs.
My head is spinning.
How much longer will I have to take this?
Is this really what Iím meant for?
Why does he have to suffer
Why do I have to be this stereotype?
I feel the sting of his belt on my stomach
The sting on already broken skin
Flesh, body and mind screaming for it to end but somehow the words coming out of my mouth ask for more.
It hurts so good and as long as he gets off on my pain I am useful to him so he wonít throw me away like the others do.
How far will it go this time?
How much can I take this time?
Will I die here tonight?
Do I care anymore?
I just want to make him proud of me but I don't know how i'm going to get thru this night.
The pain and blood and oh God the pain in my head.
I feel so small.
I look in the mirror and don't recognize me anymore.
I collapsed to my knees put my head in my hands and just started crying.
But boys don't cry and that made me cry more.


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#274625 - 02/09/09 07:22 PM Re: Its about him [Re: JBells]
christianfather Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
How well I know this pain


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#274706 - 02/10/09 11:37 AM Re: Its about him [Re: christianfather]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
(((JBells)))

All I can say is wow. What a powerful, heart-wrenching post that really hits home. Thank you for baring your soul.

lars

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

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