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#274122 - 02/05/09 10:59 PM Re: God's love? [Re: usmc97]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
usmc97,

I can't speak for the others but even tho I may not totally understand your experience that brought you to where you are not as far as this issue is concerned, I do hear you loud and clear. You're asking questions that are very valid for yourself and for others who are probably out there silently agreeing with them and wondering the same things.

The honest seeker of enlightenment will receive the answer he's seeking. Don't ever quit asking the questions, Friend.

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#274148 - 02/06/09 08:20 AM Re: God's love? [Re: WalkingSouth]
faller2 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 14
Loc: New Jersey
usmc,

I do understand where you're coming from. (not where you're coming from, like walkingsouth, but in terms of the doubt) I don't often say this, but in your case, I do. There's nothing anyone can say to prove God's love to you. I get just as pissed when I hear a pastor say things that do not represent Jesus, e.g., "Those of you who have been sexually abused, get over it." That was probably one of the worst, and you may or may not have heard that before. It seems like you haven't let go of your pain and anger, righteous anger and valid pain! But even though your pain and anger are truly appropriate and necessary, it will not be vindicated by questioning, but perhaps exacerbated. Though never stop seeking and asking! I have found that little or none of my congregation seems capable of understanding where I come from. That being said, I have stopped looking to my pastor for 'guidance' and 'mentoring.' Christians who have been sexually abused are in a paradoxical situation; we are forced to become our own pastors, teachers, mentors, lobbyists, and spokespersons within the faith. Even though it may not feel like it, there are brothers and sisters who understand you, know your pain.



Edited by faller2 (02/06/09 08:23 AM)

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#274350 - 02/07/09 01:43 PM Re: God's love? [Re: faller2]
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 437
Loc: Colorado
I don't like this "pain and anger" inclusion, especially as something to let go when I don't relate in the first place. That carries over to the trailing thoughts of being in denial or something. ANGER IS JUST NOT THERE WHEN IT COMES TO ME, at least not in the sense that it comes across. Pain for you guys seems to come down to a metaphor and I don't really grasp that, neither do I understand why things are always recognized from the aspect of anger.

My talking about most anything I have to go through seems non-existant and I keep getting put into this box of what is supposed to be a "survivor". I don't claim that title for many reasons. I don't fit the mold that the spectrum of a survivor is, number one being that what happens to me hasn't stopped yet.

God is supposed to love me and I don't understand why He would not show that He does. The things that are done to me go against everything known about Him.

_________________________
Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

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#274403 - 02/08/09 02:04 AM Re: God's love? [Re: usmc97]
faller2 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 14
Loc: New Jersey
Originally Posted By: usmc97
I don't fit the mold that the spectrum of a survivor is, number one being that what happens to me hasn't stopped yet.
i was commenting on your situation as if you were in recovery...if you're still being abused then you must get help to stop it. if you're speaking of your 'situation' as being PTSD symptoms, then you need to consider medication and/or therapy to begin your healing. you will one day feel angry if you continue to heal and see the injustice of your circumstances. I know what you're talking about, there was a long time when I didn't feel anger, the pain is more emotional for me i guess. also, putting you into a box was the last thing i wanted to do, i'm sorry you see it that way. you're also confused about your doctrine. I have asked the same identical questions that you have asked, the answers are in the word if you're willing to seek them out.

being that God does show His love for us, you're probably just missing it! He does not show love the way we 'think' He should show it, His love is perfect, not human. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean His love is not there. Don't box God in laugh

You also know (being a Christian) that this is a broken world we live in. God allows pain, abuse, murder, injustice, etc. to exist as a reflection of how far we have fallen from grace (Genesis CH3). God does not cause evil, though He allows it to exist.

These are fantastic questions you are asking. The fact that you're questioning and persisting with the faith without denying it is a great sign of your strength brother! i commend you on your bravery and encourage you to further articulate what stands between you and a stronger relationship with the Lord.


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#274446 - 02/08/09 01:19 PM Re: God's love? [Re: faller2]
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 437
Loc: Colorado
There is no help to get away from what is done to me. I know just about anytime I try to write I come off as a lunatic. You just don't get it, I didn't get it, it don't make logical sense. PTSD is only a partial di>
_________________________
Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

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#274457 - 02/08/09 02:01 PM Re: God's love? [Re: usmc97]
christianfather Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
usmc97,

I understand what your saying and how you feel in regards to God's eternal love. I have gone through the same thing. Luckily my best friend and accountability partner keeps reminding me that even though God loves us he also gave us the gift of free will and can't break his own laws. I know I get angry when he say's it too, because it wasn't my free will. Evently it sank in
It's like when you take your child to the dr for shots you know it's going to hurt them, but for their own benefit you have to step aside and allow it to happen


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#274481 - 02/08/09 04:23 PM Re: God's love? [Re: christianfather]
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 437
Loc: Colorado
How is my getting hurt a benefit? How could even God expect me to step aside and allow them to do what they do to me? Even the hint that I'm supposed to accept it in any way is damaging. Just more stuff to make things worse. Seems everybody gets free will except for a worthless thing like me.

_________________________
Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

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#274483 - 02/08/09 04:50 PM Re: God's love? [Re: usmc97]
christianfather Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
Getting hurt is not a benefit. It's an unfortunate by-product of evil people. Due to the fact you seem to still be getting abused it's harder for you to see the forest through the trees right now.

Your not worthless and neither am I or any one of the rest of us here. Feeling worthless is the lie they told us in order to control us and that's what it comes down to them having control. I for one refuse to allow the MF** to have any more control over me right now. Your not suppose to accept the abuse as being OK, because it's not. It's not OK at all. I hope you find a way to get out of al this abuse your still going through soon.


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#277235 - 02/25/09 11:35 PM Re: God's love? [Re: christianfather]
ModTeam Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 691
Guys,

As happens here on the site sometimes, we had to temporarily move this thread to the mod forum for review since it was spiralling out of control. After some review, we were able to see the point of escalation and have removed the posts from that point forward and we're now restoring the thread back to the forum. We need to make a few observations here about what happened; but please look on these in the spirit in which they're intended which is not one of blame, but of looking to how we can support each other.

Some of you may not agree with the original poster's thoughts on what he was trying to convey and express. But something we all have to remember here is that we are ALL at different points in our recovery, and we ALL have a different journey in getting there. We would challenge each of us before making a reply to stop and consider that your fellow brother in recovery here may be having his absolute, worst day of recovery so far in his journey, so try to recall your worst one as well and then frame your response with that in mind.

Using statements such as "You should do xyz..." will many times only inflame a situation. It's important to remember to speak in "I" statements, such as what has worked for you in your recovery. That's where the rubber meets the road here, guys learning from others what has worked for them to recover some sense of wholeness in our lives.

Thanks for your understanding, guys, and thanks also for your support and encouragement you give to so many of your fellow brothers in their recovery.

Eddie, aka EGL
For the ModTeam

_________________________
Private messages sent to this account are checked irregularly due to personnel and time constraints. Please send messages to one of the moderators for the forum that is concerned by user name, or if there is no named moderator, send a PM to any moderator.

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#277239 - 02/25/09 11:53 PM Re: God's love? [Re: ModTeam]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6538
Loc: Never Sugar Mountain
My contract with God is wicked simple:

I agree to be a human; unworthy of his love.

He agrees to love me no matter how bad I stink of humanity.

I agreed to teaming-up with his Son for acceptance by association.

_________________________
Stop expecting people to be other than what they are! You'll be so much better-off. [Christopher, age 10]

The Aftermath Video

My Absolute Hero!

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