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#273301 - 01/30/09 09:22 PM Re: CSA effects on sexual identity [Re: myshoeisonfire]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
guys you are in the right forum for exploring your question about this particular issue. many of the members' stories here resonate.

i encourage you to spend a lot of time in this forum exploring the list of threads on this particular issue.

there is a whole lot of good solid research information supplied by the well informed professional pillars of this organization.

check out the main page, and just pull up a seat and begin perusing the threads here.

good luck with as you begin exploring this subject.

hoping for all the best for you in your healing,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#273345 - 01/31/09 06:48 AM Re: CSA effects on sexual identity [Re: brother2none]
Nate Offline
Guest

Registered: 04/30/07
Posts: 94
Loc: Philadelphia, PA
i'm still confused and i hate it.

_________________________
"Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed."

- Corita Kent

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#273352 - 01/31/09 09:11 AM Re: CSA effects on sexual identity [Re: brother2none]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
B2N,

Wecome to MS. I'm sure that you to, as amny before you, will find many of the answers that you seek as journey on to recovery.

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#273366 - 01/31/09 11:31 AM Re: CSA effects on sexual identity [Re: joelRT]
brother2none Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/30/09
Posts: 267
Loc: Undisclosed
Thank you JoelRT. Its even nicer to feel welcomed personally by another.


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#273768 - 02/02/09 11:46 PM Re: CSA effects on sexual identity [Re: brother2none]
faller2 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 14
Loc: New Jersey
Yes! Regardless of sexual orientation, male on male sexual contact in an abusive situation will alter one's sexuality; though it does not have to be forever. Even men who self-identify as homosexual will be affected by abusive male-on-male sexual contact. The key to healing and understanding is being positive. I'm a heterosexual male and have always been attracted to women. That said, I have had serious sexual-identity issues in the past. I am currently struggling with 'un-conditioning' myself to being eroticized by specific male-on-male intrusive thoughts from being abused. (That's a mouthful!) The key is to educate yourself--research, ask questions, and be brave every moment of every day! There are fantastic books out there, and current research has produced extremely profound insight.


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#274172 - 02/06/09 11:06 AM Re: CSA effects on sexual identity [Re: myshoeisonfire]
SIDUDE Offline


Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 47
Loc: New York
Yes, there is no question in my mind at this point, I have had all the same feelings, I have had this discussion with gay men, and they seem to feel “I am just gay” if I am attracted to men. This is an ideology the Gay community enforces, they own homosexuality, you cross the line and your gay! I don’t believe in labels like this which are suited for people who have a political agenda, and it’s the first thing you will have to part with if you intend to get your life back on track I would imagine.

SS attraction is developed one way or another, for some people it may be their genetic disposition, for others it can be by recruitment. The way I see it, if you always knew something was wrong and had a gut feeling that your life would have been radically different if you had not been victimized then that is probably the case. I am not saying I would have turned out straight, maybe I’d be bi sexual, but what ever I would have chosen it would have been my choice. I had always felt choices were made for me in this regard, and I have always stuck by that, it is just a gut level intuition, even to this day and I am 47 yo at this point. My whole life has passed me by and I am still home alone, depressed and broken! But I am grateful I have found other people that understand me, for once in my life I feel understood. I can’t thank you enough for this post! God Bless!
smile


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#274173 - 02/06/09 11:21 AM Re: CSA effects on sexual identity [Re: SIDUDE]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
SIDUDE,

Welcome to MS, my friend.

You said
Quote:
But I am grateful I have found other people that understand me, for once in my life I feel understood.

Man, you echo exactly my very sentiments when I first came to MS - I was actually shocked to discover at the age of fifty one that there is whole world of men out there (well, ok, in here then grin ) who speak the same language that I do.

Finding MS gave me to come in out the cold world of the 'normal people' and to discover that there was a place at the table of recovery just waiting for me to sit my butt down in the chair labeled brotherhood.

May we be all of that you as well, again, welcome!

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#274174 - 02/06/09 11:29 AM Re: CSA effects on sexual identity [Re: joelRT]
SIDUDE Offline


Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 47
Loc: New York
Thanks Bro, I am hurling in tears here, and I am at work, I am so blown away! (Hug)


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#274175 - 02/06/09 11:32 AM Re: CSA effects on sexual identity [Re: SIDUDE]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Oh man, you fit right in grin pull up a chair.......it has your name on it already!

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#274176 - 02/06/09 11:42 AM Re: CSA effects on sexual identity [Re: joelRT]
SIDUDE Offline


Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 47
Loc: New York
I have been doing this self help crap since I am 29, I have seen therapists since I was 12, nothing has helped me, I am really sick of this, I see no hope anymore fellas, although I do hope the younger people affected by this get help. We know more now and early intervention is probably a great thing. I wish someone was around when I was 20. God knows I was looking for help, had a therapist, went to surrogate therapy at some point, none of it made any difference, sorry to be so down but it is how I feel, and I have to be honest bout it, don’t want to effect anyone else’s recovery in a negative way, but I am defiantly suicidal at this point.


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