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#27308 - 12/21/05 01:13 AM Why I hate Christmas!
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
The magic of christmas eludes me, but fortunately I have memories of walking home in the snow on christmas eve as a young boy.

These little memories are a treasure to me, as I lived in terror not long afterwards, I lived in fear, my self esteem was fractured and pedophiles would really home in on me.

I told my family to not bother with presents, not that they ever did, but I live in closer proximity to them, so they may feel obliged.

The only christmas present that would please me, is to get my childhood back, instead of it being a constant fight to get there, adn having to control my parents fighting about their boy.

Yeah, I was not quite right, how could I be! My dad was consantly up with me in the night while my mother just never took responsibility, then it would be big fights in the morning to put me into a home for bad kids.

Those fights between mom and dad, were about me, and as a kid who may have slept just a couple of hours and have to be the go between between them, no wonder I had trouble at school.

No wonder the kids bullied me, I let them do it, until I fought them back.

The only thing that I really thought when I was young is, why did God not take me?

If only this was some mad dream, not some nightmare, I could understand.

Maybe I will write my book,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#27309 - 12/21/05 11:30 AM Re: Why I hate Christmas!
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ste,

We of course can't get our childhood back but I think what we CAN do is restore our understanding of ourselves in that childhood.

I would love to see you write that book.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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