Kevin,

I place no time frame on your or anyone else.
We heal at our own pace.
I offer only facts not excuses as I see them.
Heal well my friend.
You are in my prayers.

Mike

it's not a fact in saying that I am to blame for then or now by any means

you may mean well but you're words are not helping, in fact they are pretty hurtful about now

Kevin,

At no time have I said you are at fault for anything.
Sorry you took my words that way.

Mike

You said that I'm dooming myself, that I am hurt because I don't accept God, that unforgiveness keeps me where I'm at and everything else just tells me that you're not understanding what I try to describe. More or less this sounded like everything that's been coming across

Kevin,

What I said is that if we wait till our perps choose to take responsibility or to repent and aplogize for their abuse of us. Before we allow ourselves to heal are we not choosing to remain trapped in our abuse. Because very few perps will ever own or apologize for their actions.

Sorry for using the pronoun you. Did not mean to single you out. Meant things in a general way for all of us in recovery. Not just in your situation. I will be more careful in the future.

I believe recovery is a choice.
We each have to make this decision for ourselves.

Mike

Even the word recovery implies that something has to be in the past. I am not in recovery.

The other part is that healing is not a choice for everyone as you see it. That places unwaranted blame, the best anyone can do is give effort toward that goal. Nobody heals themself. I wouldn't say that the guys on this site are healed or else they would not come here. They are all hurt in their own ways just as you probably are but not everything is measured by your experience, that's projecting.

All I can do is ask for what I need and what I need to know. I have no power to stop what is done to me, I can't even explain it in a way that anybody really understands.

Kevin,

We all make our own choices.
Life is about choices whether we choose to make them or not.

Blame is a worthless word to me.
Because it accomplishes nothing.

I choose to live in today. Not in the past or in the future.
If you don't heal yourself then who?
I have not choosen to relive the pain and abuse because I enjoy it.
But because I want to release it's power over my present life.
It has not gone away on it's own accord and never will.

Today we all have a choice to move forward toward wholeness or remain mired in self pity.
This is not a judgement of you Kevin.

Mike

You were not hurt like I was.
You are not tortured and raped like I am today.
You don't believe me.
You can not understand.

What I spill about how I feel and what I am going through is not self pity, what I go through you can't imagine. There is no choice in what done to me and you don't comprehend that because you have a whole different experience. If I shared what you went through maybe I could relate. You just seem to have no idea and I don't understand why you'd want to add to the hurt. You're blaming everybody for not being like you.

Kevin,

Sorry if our conversation has hurt you in anyway.
That was not my intent.
I will stop now.

Take care & Best Wishes

Mike

Guys usmc97 has said over and over he is being raped today
like now
like shit
like he needs to go to the Police
like now

man - go now ring go to them

rape is a crime

that's why we have Police

like get out of where you are

report the crime

and ask to be placed somewhere safe

like now

that has to stop

Nathan 5