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#272766 - 01/26/09 08:31 PM Ever dream of a relationship?
Danbuff Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 249
Loc: NY state
A friend sent me this You Tube link and I absolutely love it. This is a beautiful song and video about taking that big risk or step into finding someone to share with ...before it's too late.

It is certainly something I hope for. I hope you can relate. Here is the link. May it inspire a dream no matter how out of reach it might seem. I hope we all get there if it is something you want someday. Healing comes first but dreams are certainly allowed in my life!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTvJdpkdLiw

Dan

_________________________
When you stumble, make it part of the dance.

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#272820 - 01/27/09 01:50 AM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: Danbuff]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Beautiful!!! Sadly, I'm now too old & far too experienced to believe in such adolescent dreams.

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#272836 - 01/27/09 07:03 AM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: joelRT]
Danbuff Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 249
Loc: NY state
Hey Joe,
First of all I am glad you could enjoy it.
Second Because you did enjoy it, maybe it is a sign that the dream actually is in your heart. Adolescent....I am not so so sure, but it certainly is human. Sure many people think about those dreams when in ones youth but appreciating the message reveals the heart is warm at any age when beauty is enjoyed.

I just turned 52, and a late bloomer for certain. I went back to school at age 48 and got a bachelors and masters in three years. So it is never too late where there is hope. I shared the link because of hope and because the message is about beautiful possibility.

I also have the equivalent of the modern day plague with a lifetime of scars. I never thought I'd be alive this long. But somewhere there is hope that I never dreamed of either. Hope came back when I started taking chances and began to think of dreams.

One day at a time. So every time there is something good whether it be a smile, hello, a movie or a song it is worth embracing like a dream. Even if we say "Just for now".

I am healing which I never thought possible. I have a career about to begin which I also once thought out of reach. So a relationship might be within my dreams too. After all, look at the love found in this site in spite of unimaginable pain.

So Joe, give yourself permission to dream. Dreams can sometimes manifest into reality but seeing them is the first step.

Hugs to you.

Peace always,
Dan

_________________________
When you stumble, make it part of the dance.

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#272843 - 01/27/09 07:57 AM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: Danbuff]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Well Dan, my fifty two year old friend, four months will see me turn 52 to. and I'm now living my fourth lifetime - I'm too old for dreams that ' might come true '.

I am truly happy for you that you are not and it's great to hear about all of your succeses. you go boy!

Joël

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#272852 - 01/27/09 08:51 AM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: joelRT]
Danbuff Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 249
Loc: NY state
Hmmm,
Joe, thank you for your support but my post was not to brag and hopefully it does not sound that way. Yeah I could boast but not my style at all. I do however celebrate the victories that come from grace to see and allow me to have the ability.

My initial response to you is about dreaming and believing in more than history, past and present struggles or hurt. There is always plenty of that to last a lifetime.

That said, there is hope and effort born of dreams to live more than in a world of hurt. There will surely be more of that hurt too. Today, I am here and trying to shape a better life. Sometimes that means coming here wounded, frustrated and on occasion shamed. My healing begins when I allow possibilities, take risks accept failure and then get back up to try again. Otherwise I may as well give up.

I survived this long for some reason. I no longer say it is too late, there is no point and why bother. At the end of the day, my hope and dreams may be all I have within. Right now, my life is hard because I have no job and running low on resources... I have many health problems and some negative thought that still come around.But I choose to try and choose to dream. Sometimes it feels like I am running out of energy, on my last leg or in my last lifetime. Then I see something to inspire me. Sometimes I get fed up with the same negative thoughts too. Without always trying, someone or some thing inspires me. It shows up unexpectedly in a post, a person, a story, an article, a song or a music video. It shows up because I refuse to surrender in spite of all the things I cannot control. But I can regulate my thoughts.

I encourage you to think about a small possibility and embrace your strength for living those lifetimes. When you lose that hope, they who have hurt you continue to hold that power over you. I ask myself, who is in charge here...me or them?

Joe, I hope for you. I hope for everyone and sometimes I hope I get through the day that seems so hard. Today I will try and even if I stumble or fail, I can think about a dream that is better than reality.Allowing possibility is a great place to start making a different reality.

Dan

_________________________
When you stumble, make it part of the dance.

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#272858 - 01/27/09 09:09 AM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: Danbuff]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Dan,

I am trluy awed for you and couldn't encourage you more on your quest - you go man!!!

You said:
Quote:
I encourage you to think about a small possibility and embrace your strength for living those lifetimes. When you lose that hope, they who have hurt you continue to hold that power over you.

This is extremely presumptious of you to suppose that I should see life in the way that you do as though you and I come from the very same experiences. You have no freakin' clue from shit about where I've come or what my life has been. I told you yesterday that I am now living in my fourth lifetime - don't interpret that, but take it at face value. I know of what I speak, you however do not.

When I tell you that I am beyond the ability to dream, I am in no way suggesting to anyone that to dream is futile or foolish. What I am saying is that I've spent my ability for it. I was not needing nor asking for a pep talk.

I do plain speak - always have. Never, but never interpret my words to fit your comfort level.

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#272871 - 01/27/09 11:18 AM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: joelRT]
Danbuff Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 249
Loc: NY state
Ok You are where you are and I do not know your story. If you want to think your hard life is somehow harder than next guys guys, go ahead. Life has been no bed of roses here and is still hard. In spite of it I still choose to be who I am where I am and as hopeful as I can be. It beats the hell out of where I have been with having a lousy attitude about my life. I just refuse to be a victim again.

I posted to share something I find nice and hopefully encourage others. What you interpret as a pep talk is real and straight from the heart and a clear head.

I do not presume to know another persons life. Each person is the expert in their life experience. I prefer to throw a lifeline rather than an anchor to someone who who says they can't.

My post is for anyone who wants to take it at face value and might see something good in it. If you took any of it to be presumptuous, it was not. I still wish you hope after all you have been through.

If you don't want to think of possibilities and hope, that is your right. Please know I prefer and choose to be who I am now over who I once was. I am still walking a path of my own discovery.

Your reaction and words make it almost impossible to respond without being chided, but I will defend my words as much as I respect your feelings. Today however I won't be intimidated nor give my control to another person under any circumstance. If I misinterpreted you or as you call presuming then perhaps you are as guilty as I am. I never pretend to know anyone's history.

It was your initial post post which prompted my reply.And you also have no clue of my story. Regardless I try being understanding, tolerant and hopeful.

Good luck to you Joe,

Dan



Edited by Danbuff (01/27/09 11:26 AM)
_________________________
When you stumble, make it part of the dance.

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#272873 - 01/27/09 11:26 AM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: Danbuff]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
I'll bite the bullet on this one - my bad frown

Now can we be friends? smile

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#272874 - 01/27/09 11:33 AM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: joelRT]
Danbuff Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 249
Loc: NY state
You bet! smile

_________________________
When you stumble, make it part of the dance.

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#272884 - 01/27/09 12:40 PM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: Danbuff]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Well, my day just keeps getting better and better - thanks Dan smile

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#273239 - 01/30/09 10:03 AM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: Danbuff]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...


_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#273312 - 01/31/09 12:13 AM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: Sans Logos]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
smile


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#286799 - 05/08/09 11:14 PM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: Danbuff]
profryr1974 Offline


Registered: 05/07/09
Posts: 9
Loc: arizona
That song was marvelous and I was blown away.

_________________________
RYR1974

"I have not hands to stop every mouth so there is nothing but to speak the truth and trust God." Queen Elizabeth I

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#287001 - 05/10/09 04:07 PM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: profryr1974]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Awesome song and singer. The song was/is very inspiring even to know I can/will love myself.

Peace,
DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#287545 - 05/14/09 10:03 PM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: Danbuff]
kid-at-heart Offline


Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 45
Loc: Kansas
Wow. That was great.
Thanks


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#287546 - 05/14/09 10:06 PM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: kid-at-heart]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Relationships? What are those?


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#287738 - 05/16/09 06:52 PM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: Hauser]
kid-at-heart Offline


Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 45
Loc: Kansas
So, there's someone else is out there that hasn't been in a relationship either?


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#287741 - 05/16/09 07:59 PM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: kid-at-heart]
Danbuff Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 249
Loc: NY state
I have been away for a few months. No I was not a bad boy either. I have been thankfully very busy in the best way I know. I am finally working in a job which I love. So my late return to school is paying off. Anyway, my email alerts have told me there has been some activity about an old post I started and my good friend and brother Sans Logos follow up with the video by India Arie.

While I like the song, I am not that fond of her version as much as she is amazingly talented. I actually prefer the cover by a Russian woman as shown on You Tube. Here is the link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-ti1KAeYV0&feature=related

And yes, I still dream of a relationship that is healthy and enriching to me and that other person.

I will likely post something of an update in another forum. Until then, hugs to all my brothers. Hang in there everyone of you.
Peace,
Dan

_________________________
When you stumble, make it part of the dance.

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#287748 - 05/16/09 09:45 PM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: Danbuff]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Dan smile

It's great to see you back and to hear that things are going so well for you. I do hope we'll see more of you...

I just re-read through the thread and our exchange blush Yeah, that's me blushing alright. I should know better than to post when I'm feeling lost and vulnerable and I certainly was back in January. You were very gracious to me through my diatribe and I am greatful to you.

Even though today I am in a much better place, I still don't have either the ability to dream or the courage for it but still, I encourage those who can...

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#289448 - 05/29/09 11:21 PM Re: Ever dream of a relationship? [Re: joelRT]
planetaryshift Offline


Registered: 05/29/09
Posts: 4
Loc: Right here
Wow! That as beautiful to behold! In every aspect.

The Video
It sent waves of long awaited surprise all through me. What a breath of fresh air, not just to see two guys in a love story but to have it a story from the heart rather than from the wallet. I can certainly share your hopes Dan.

The Reconcilliation
I don't want to talk about this much, it would be rude really to talk about a conversation between two people from a 'what was going through my mind whilst reading it' point of view... but I will say that I respect you both, for your honoring yourselves whilst remaining open to other ways, it's hard to do.

With dreams of non-adolescent romantic love,
Cx


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