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#272627 - 01/25/09 07:16 PM how am i going to grow out of my depression
Dilly215 Offline


Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 4
When I was molested when I was 8 years old, I was crying while it happened. Now I am depressed and I feel like the only way I can be happy is if I am gay. I would really appreciate any suggestions.


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#272631 - 01/25/09 07:48 PM Re: how am i going to grow out of my depression [Re: Dilly215]
timothyrecovery1 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/19/09
Posts: 31
Loc: Pennsylvania
I relate to what you are going through. I liked being fondle etx. I feel a sexual attraction to certain men but know that I can not trust my feelings. Being molested by another male would naturally make identity questioned by myself. I have to trust in the Bible which states that a man was made to be with a women. I am not saying anything against preferring the same sex believe me the attraction is there for me. I am happily married and must remember that acting out sexually on a male would be adultry which I do not really believe in. They say deppression is anger turned inside. I do get depressed about these issues. I find talking about it as you have helps. I have a 12 step support group and a sponsor who I talk to. My sponsor has a good grasp of who I am. I have been with him for over 4 years and known him for over 10. I did a personnal inventory of my life. I can talk to him about just about anything. Please know that I am willing to talk anytime. I relate to sexual abuse and addiction. I am still trying to recover and will help if I can.

_________________________
Timothyrecovery

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#272632 - 01/25/09 08:02 PM ... [Re: Dilly215]
St3v3n Offline


Registered: 11/26/08
Posts: 102
...


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#272668 - 01/26/09 03:16 AM Re: how am i going to grow out of my depression [Re: St3v3n]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2453
Loc: TEXAS
Hi Dilly,
We all sure know a lot about depression.
We sure know a lot about being confused about our sexuality.
But you know what Dilly, when ever you come to terms with yourself on just what is your sexual orientation is. I will like you, for just being YOU.
I have just found my way after 69 years on this earth. Before the 1st of last August, I really didn't know me, until now, Gay.
Whichever way that you go, remember I will give you understanding, compassion and love, for JUST being YOU.
Heal well my brother/friend.
Pete (Irishmoose)

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#273134 - 01/29/09 01:08 PM Re: how am i going to grow out of my depression [Re: timothyrecovery1]
brosie9 Offline


Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 6
Loc: WEST
Hi, I am 52 years old and yes I am a survivior but the one question I have is how did you get from a survivor to a happily married man? I long for that but don't know where or how to begin. How did you do it?

I kept my mouth closed for so long, and then suffered the loss of my brother and my nephew who I consider my son.

Would apreciate any input.


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#273135 - 01/29/09 01:17 PM Re: how am i going to grow out of my depression [Re: timothyrecovery1]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Originally Posted By: timothyrecovery1
They say deppression is anger turned inside.


"They" say a lot things - most of it unfounded.

Depression is a medical condition that requires professional help to resolve.

Please, guys, let's be a little more discriminating in what we freely bandy about - it can be very misleading and ultimately damaging to some.

http://www.depression.com/

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#273140 - 01/29/09 01:36 PM Re: how am i going to grow out of my depression [Re: brosie9]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
hi brosie i am glad to see after joining so long ago that you are feeling ok enough to make a post.

there are no easy answers, unfortunately. we are tethered to our baggage, and we are condemned to drag around with us throughout our lives until we develop the tools for cutting it away.

those tools are not readily available for purchase. you can't go on down to the recovery tool store, and just pick up a set. they only given one by one as we are ready to receive them. but until you enter into the process, there will be no progress.

would you consider posting your story in the survivor's stories section? telling us about your particular situation would better enable us to pool our resources and understand you better.

check out the threads in the family and friends section too. there are a lot of married couples who are dealing with the effects of sexual abuse and its impact on the lives of married couples and families.

also, think about joining a healing circle here, or getting therapist.

once you get the juices flowing, something beyond you will forge the path.

trust the process and it will lead you to healing.

i am glad you are here, and i look forward to watching you grow in confidence and understanding.

hoping for all the best for you and your family,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#286506 - 05/06/09 06:13 PM Re: how am i going to grow out of my depression [Re: Sans Logos]
brosie9 Offline


Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 6
Loc: WEST
Sorry for not getting back to you sooner, but I would love to tell my story, but where on the board?

Let me know.

Brian


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#286507 - 05/06/09 06:28 PM Re: how am i going to grow out of my depression [Re: brosie9]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Brian,

If you want feedback to your story then post it in the Male Survivors Forum - if you don't want feedback then post your story in the Survivors Stories Forum. The latter Forum is locked so that no one can post a response.

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#286608 - 05/07/09 01:39 PM Re: how am i going to grow out of my depression [Re: joelRT]
AndyS87 Offline


Registered: 12/12/08
Posts: 303
Loc: sorry, but I don't say on the ...
Brian, I think it's important for you to find your own answers through therapy. One of the main things that I've learned over the past year is that I have a particular tendency to take other people's word as absolute gospel when it comes to this issue, and it has become a double edged sword for me. I hear something I like, and I tend to quickly grab it, if it resonates with me. If I read something that shocks me or scares me that I don't agree with, it feels just like that, a shock to the core. These happen in all the different threads I read here.

As we are all individuals, we all have different responses and feelings of what happened to us. I know personally that in EMDR the other day I found myself saying something that was so weird for me. I'm not a hateful person, but I found myself saying out loud that I wish I could have hated my cousin for what he did, because maybe that way I wouldn't have been so confused and I wouldn't have looked up to him so much while all this shit was going on. This thing is something I've been looking into for months, and only know does that come to the surface.

So, that's just my own personal example. Don't force anything on yourself, don't MAKE yourself follow any rules. Try and stay comfortable, find what will bring you true relief.


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