I can't retype all of this, so I'm just going to repost the same thing I posted on another survivor site I go on.
I don't really know how to start this, so I guess I'll just type...
I'm gay, I've never kept it a secret, at home, at school, or anywhere else. Most people in school are actually pretty okay with it and most of the people who weren't just didn't talk to me. There was this one group of people though a few girls and about 7 or 8 guys who were very vocal about what they thought of me. I never really paid attention though, I figured I'm better than that and I wont let them get to me.
I live pretty close to my school, only a 5 minute walk, so I used to walk to and from school every day. One day I was walking up towards the "woods" behind the school on my way home when 4 of the boys drove by, they insulted me a bit but I just kept walking and ignored them. I was about half way through all the trees when I realized that someone was following me. I stopped and turned around, I looked down the trail but didn't see anyone. You can't see through the trees very well. I called out asking who was there, no one said anything, so I figured I was just being paranoid and started walking again.
Then I heard something behind me again, I turned around and again no one was there. Then suddenly someone grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth with their hand. I tried to pull away from them but I couldn't. Then three boys came out of the woods, the same ones from the car and the one holding me was the fourth.
One of them, L, came up right in front of me and got right up in my face, he smiled at me and pat the top of my head and told me how adorable I was and they all laughed. Then he reached down and started to unbutton my pants. I started to kick and thrash but then the other two came over to hold me still. L pulled my pants and my boxers down and then he undid his own pants. I didn't start to cry until then.
The guy holding me, C, suddenly lifted me right off the ground and slammed me into a tree. L came over and took the other boys place. I started to scream and L smashed his body up againt mine so I smacked back into the tree. There was a little branch, or twigg coming out of the tree near my side that kept poking me. I heard L spit in his hand and then all the sudden he was trying to push into me. It was so painful, I remeber thinking that I was dying. I just kept begging him to stop and he would just keep going and when he finally finished I had this moment where I though, 'it's over, it's over and nothing worse can happen now'
Then C took Ls place. When he finished they pushed me down onto my knees. and the other two, T and J were undoing their pants and L grabbed me by the hair. He was still smiling when he told me to start sucking. 'Like the f*ggot wh*re I am' J was first I was crying and I could barly breathe while I tried to get him off. He lost his patiance after a minute and grabbed me by the back of my head and forced my head up and down. I kept choking and then when he finished he covered my mouth and held my nose to make me swallow.
Once he let go I just dropped, I let myself fall to the ground and I curled up L started yelling at me to get up, then he started to kick me. Eventually he just yanked me back up and held me up while T got up behind me and started to rape me. Then L kissed me, he shoved his tounge down my throat and through everything that happened him kissing me felt like the worst, he'd raped me, humiliated me, beat me, but that kiss was worse than anything.
T finished and L let me drop down. They just left me there half naked and crying. I curled up on the ground and just laid there. I have no idea how long I was there but the whole thing couldn't have taken longer that 1 1/2 hours because Jake had detention that day. He found me and pulled me pants back up and brought me home. I wouldn't get out of bed for days and he stayed with me the whole time. I would have died without him. The 4 boys are seniors and I do everything I can to avoid seeing them but I still pass them in the halls and every time L just smiles and winks at me and I get this horrible sick feeling in my stomach. I usually end up texting Jake and spend the rest of the day hiding in the mat storage room over the gym.
So that's it... I'm not sure how I feel now that I've written all this out. I don't think I feel better... but I don't feel worse.
I have to post this now, before I delete the whole thing.
This city looks so pretty, do you wanna burn it with me?