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#272154 - 01/21/09 09:38 AM don't understand why.....
TNuss Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 202
Loc: Del-A-Ware???
I woke up this morning feeling very empty inside.

I feel like I'm splipping backwardsin my life, in my dealing with my issues.

I just want to cry.

I'm want to just put on my ipod and block out the world around me.

Really there is no need to reply. I just needed to type how I was feeling, sorry. This was the safest place for. Thank you!

_________________________
All my best!!!

In harmony,
Troy
________________________________________________________
I hug myself daily until the day I find the embrace that completes me.

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#272155 - 01/21/09 09:48 AM Re: don't understand why..... [Re: TNuss]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Troy,

Have a good day!

Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#272158 - 01/21/09 10:07 AM Re: don't understand why..... [Re: TNuss]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
troy, so sorry you find yourself in this place of misery. but isn't it ironic that we can be empty and full at the same time? full of emptiness? painful as it is, and empty as it is, it is still pregnant with possibility. sometimes that awful empty silence inside screams to be embraced. it's like hugging a leper. frown

as gay survivors we have a unique set of challenges, and often it's hard to find the understanding and commiseration that is needed to assuage our pain. but, some things are beyond comprehension, and need to be experienced in the realm of feeling, a language prior to thought concepts.

crying is good, blocking out the world is valid temporary vacation from the issues that give us grief. sometimes we need to 'go there' and be with that pain. whoever said life was supposed to be painless anyway?

honor your process without apology; feel the feelings then get back on the horse and ride.

i am glad you shared your moment of suffering. please know that you are not alone.

with hope for your brighter today,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#272160 - 01/21/09 10:16 AM Re: don't understand why..... [Re: Sans Logos]
wes-b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

Brother Troy,

Hugs from the frozen north :-)

I have taken, on days where I feel 'off' or 'unsettled' to calling my fellows in recovery and sharing it. --including MS posts-- These actions sometimes lead me to discovery and always lead me to a greater feeling of connectedness. For me a period of peaceful meditation helps too.

Take care Bro, you are doing the healthy thing.

Love, Wes

_________________________
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

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#272333 - 01/22/09 11:30 PM Re: don't understand why..... [Re: wes-b]
TNuss Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 202
Loc: Del-A-Ware???
Thank you for all you concerns.....i think part of it is that my birthday is coming and i been doing a lot of reflecting on my life, never a good thing. I overwhelmed with work and I just started two classes, accounting and economics.

This morning while I found something that really brought me inner peace....I turned on the tv for soe music in the back round and stopped on a classic station. It's funny how just the simple change go bring inner peace.

Again thank you!!! I didn't say it before, but I'm still in need of a great hug!!! Thanks guys!!!

_________________________
All my best!!!

In harmony,
Troy
________________________________________________________
I hug myself daily until the day I find the embrace that completes me.

Top
#272487 - 01/24/09 07:21 PM Re: don't understand why..... [Re: TNuss]
Roofus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 233
Loc: Utah
Hang in there Troy, we are all there with you.

allen


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#272496 - 01/24/09 07:57 PM Re: don't understand why..... [Re: Roofus]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Glad you are doing better Troy.

Simple changes to break the cycle of depression or to get us out of our heads (because for me that is the worse place to be) often can do the trick, or at least give us enough traction to get back on track.

Though, like you, I love to use my iPod to escape and sometimes we just need to take a break from MS, recovery, and life in general. That's OK too, just as long as you come back to life, recovery and MS. smile

Peace and love,

Michael


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