Welcome to the site.
I've known several guys that shave all their body hair for the r easons you are suggesting. It is a regular part of their daily routine. And, yea, getting their partners to understand was a huge hurdle.
What you are saying makes sense to me in the context of our experiences. For me, it manifested itself differently. I felt compelled to take a shower before and after having sex. Which, as you might imagine, severly limited the sponteneity and, where and when sex was possible.
At first and, before I disclosed, my partner just thought I was a bit quirky
and, after a while, because they were accepting of it, I thought, we both should. That was where the line got drawn.
My therapist challenged me on it as I recall. Suggesting that if I felt compelled to do it, choice was removed, taken away. She asked me what it would feel like to have sex without taking a shower before and after and, as you suggest, the idea of it was, well, not good.
The next logical step was, that recovery was, at the very least, reclaiming what is lost. The intent is to empower. It was about making choices...the best informed choices I could make that would improve the quality of my life.
Knowing that it came out of my experiences as a survivor and, that that made sense to me, she suggested that if I were doing it to regain a sense of control in an otherwise out of control set of circumstances...well, "how was that working out," she asked, "if you cannot have sex unless you take a shower before and after?"
"If it isn't a choice that you can make freely,then," she said, "isn't that just as out of control? What have you gained?"