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#272257 - 01/22/09 02:13 AM TRIGGERS Please Help Mods TRIGGERS
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
I need help knowing whats appropirate to talk about in chat. I was just in there and I accidently triggered two people at once.. I described some games I played with Dad when I was little. I think that I need help before I know what to post on this board.


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#272271 - 01/22/09 08:20 AM Re: TRIGGERS Please Help Mods TRIGGERS [Re: Marinan]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Marinan,

Yes, that can be a problem sometimes. I remember when I was new on the site and was just coming to terms myself with what had been done to me as a boy. It had all seemed somehow okay when I was a kid - the abuser had taught me I didn't deserve any better treatment, so what did it matter? But then when I needed to talk about things here as an adult it quickly became apparent that there were some areas that were just too much. But how to tell what these areas were? I had no idea; I was totally lacking in perspective. It was all the same to me - just all part of what it meant to be Little Larry.

I would make two suggestions for you here. The first is that you DO need to talk about the rough stuff. If that remains somehow taboo it will continue in its ability to harm and influence you. Talking breaks the power of these awful memories. PM me or one of the mods and we'd be happy to set up a time where we can meet in chat; we can set up a private room for you.

The other is that when you feel you might be getting into tough territory in chat, warn the others in chat and ask if it's okay to raise something very triggering. Then it's up to the others to speak up if they're not ready for that. If that happens, please don't feel rejected or dismissed; it's just a matter of guys in chat setting boundaries. Perhaps someone can come with you to another room for a bit.

But in the main I would suggest working with a mod for a bit - let's see what you're facing and how we can help.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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